Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!

A sample from Book 8

It’s a process. Sometimes a long one depending if abuse was in the mix. The follow is part of the Introduction to my 8th book in My 12-Book Series. It’s just the beginning of the acceptance stage. Depression still follows. Anger still follows you. You have a journey, but you can do it.

My journey took a twist by adding another relationship to the mix. This book is only the beginning to that. Oh! You just gotta love those who just think they don’t do any wrong. Life’s quite a ride!

“…This book is an exploration of self: Overcoming the anger, the hurt, seeing the damage and healing, understanding how God brings us to something in order to help us and not hinder us, to understand that God’s timing is not our own…and it doesn’t matter how we want to rush it, He’ll stop us in our tracks, slow us down in order for time to heal…[time to] work its magic.

Julie Axelrod writes in her article―

‘The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief’: Acceptance: Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected, or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression. Loved ones that are terminally ill or aging appear to go through a final period of withdrawal. This is by no means a suggestion that they are aware of their own impending death or such, only that physical decline may be sufficient to produce a similar response. Their behavior implies that it is natural to reach a stage at which social interaction is limited. The dignity and grace shown by our dying loved ones may well be their last gift to us. [This is when the grieving spouse no longer cares about the other. They no longer allow the other spouse to hurt them. They feel a sort of indifference. Many times, they feel a need to move, to start a new life in a new place. They are not totally over the ordeal, but they are closer to being at peace.] Coping with loss is a ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience—nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through, but others can be there for you and help comfort you through this process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Resisting it only will prolong the natural process of healing.

[I wrote the following in November 2015. This was going to be the first book and I was going to work my way backwards, but things do change. That old saying: You can’t know where you are going until you know from that which you’ve come proves true in my journey.]

In 2015, even though I still experienced many forms of the other four stages of grief, with prayer and faith, I began to move into the final stage: Acceptance. It’s not total normalcy, but you begin to feel new, alert, and a little bit more complete.

I was lucky to have someone to help me lift the hurt from my heart. If you haven’t received this then your stages might last longer, but you will get through it. Am I over it? A smile is on my face. These books are in your hands because I was able to pull myself together and gather all my work, write, layout the books, edit the books, then get them published. This in itself is my reason to celebrate.

Just a year ago, reading a book took me months and months. Writing one seemed impossible. So, on that level of myself, I feel great. When it comes to the relationship level of myself: I don’t feel anything for [x] except for pity. I feel a lot of sadness for my children, my siblings, my parents. I haven’t learned how to forgive, but I do pray for [x] to be a good father to my son. This hasn’t happened yet.

On my personal relationship status: I still don’t fully trust. I can’t seem to bring myself to believe in another person totally yet. I pray. I have faith. I’m not getting any younger. I know some of you feel this way. I don’t want to be alone. So, I still have these issues to deal with, and to add flames to the fire, so to speak, I’m now experiencing menopause and I recently survived an allergic reaction to the depression medication that enabled me to move on. I can’t take any more depression medications! I have to deal, and I am. Pretty much by myself.

Today, there are many things that I’m grateful for. I have God. He’s made sure that I am financially independent and that my health care is taken care of. I don’t need anyone, but it doesn’t stop the craving way down deep in my heart to just want someone. I’m learning patience. It will come.

Get Your Copy Today!

Paperback: The Metamorphosis of Self: Accepting It Wasn’t Your Fault Book 8

Kindle: The Metamorphosis of Self: Accepting It Wasn’t Your Fault Book 8