”Secret’ No More!’

Their Play Is All the Same!

A sample from Book 9

 'Secret' No More!
 
the cat's out the bag
 
on the surface‒
I no longer scratch
‒don't want to sound
like a hag
not even a nag
but I'm done
playing this little game
of tag
 
I no longer want
the jab‒
that sneaky, sly syntax
keeping me in a corner
my existence entrapped
secrets over nightcaps
 
for so long
at it
I merely laughed
playing along‒
this hidden
out-of-sight craft
 
for so long
I fell into its path
to feel barely half
of a lover's swag
 
not any more
do these eyes sag
I now see
the repeated red flags
 
here they are‒
if you want to keep track
here they are‒
if your eyes
are stuck in lack:
 
away from public view‒
begins
the slow, gentle snatch
 
text this, text that

a hi here
a hey there
even the wyd flair
 
then the ignore
playing-with-the-mind anthrax's
added-on little snap
 
maybe a phone call or two‒
avoiding a bit of snag
 
(the now understood common trap)
 
oh! how texting does that
 
‒just a tiny dab
the get-what-they-want hatch
 
turning texting to sexting
in a flash
 
then sit back...relax
as she falls in the trap
her mind...now attacked
with a little zap‒
man-ego-driven
mind-boggling witchcraft
sealed and wrapped‒
one-sided—playing-out wrath
 
sexting‒
the perfect-controlling telegraph
 
then comes
the moving-on slow raft
to get that big splash
‒adding to their stash
images behind
a monitored glass
 
a little skin
in flash
with some sexy sass
 
the building in pizzazz
wanting more
of that flabbergast
 
building, building
téte-a-téte
 
then veiled in a masque‒
when questions invade
the on-and-off going chitchat‒
 
a quickened spat
back to the ignoring splat‒
ego...alive and well
in combat
 
'til comes that final blast
flesh to unmask
an act in diplomat
making her feel all that‒
the sexy little kitty cat
 
‒the play in chat
becomes
an in-the-flesh transact
 
good or bad‒
putting her in abstract
continued words on a pad‒
her mind to distract
rather hijacked
from their away-from-her
reality fact‒
 
she's not the only lass‒
their on-going sexting hack
blatant ways in acrobat‒
that and this
this and that
 
'til her avoided questions
forces a react‒
 
why not spend time with me
why the constant disappearing act

 
she innocently asks
wanting beyond
the sexual wrap‒
wanting out of secret's
hidden tap
 
the continued avoiding lap
puts her mind
in wondering's rasp
 
all-stop...hold
goes the lit glass‒
with no returned téte-a-téte
or to-the-door dash
or a together attach
nor explanations to patch
or synchronizing photographs
not even a social-media match
 
her mind opens up‒
I've seen all that
recognizing perfectly
the plotted graph
 
experience, experience
the exact-patterned zigzag
she's once again caught
knowings in fact‒
 
their intentions
won't go
any further than that
 
for her unanswered questions
suspicions‒
her experiences in reasoning
reality's opened-up rap‒
 
she's just one of many cats
in their secret's rattrap
 
‒with all these red flags
no need for a polygraph
I don't even need an ax
or a wiretap
not even some mindless booby-trap
 
just a sentence or two‒
seeing through the claptrap
then sit back
watch the unwrap‒
 
innocence offers a laugh
 
let's fix this hash
to you...I want to holdfast
let's have a blast
out in the open

'let's make our splash
 
guilt opens up the wrath
 
a shutting-down fast
placing-blame lash
social-media delete
the final smash‒
the secret
given the shaft
 
no longer do I fly half-mast
no longer am I the secret
in stash
 
yes, the red flags
seen in perfect format
 
I'm no spoiled brat
not even
lost in over-react
 
this kitty cat
just knows where it's at
 
I'm more than just a paragraph‒
a secret in scraps
 
I'm all or nothing
an out-in-the-open en masse
willing to adapt
with another walking
the same path
Continue reading “”Secret’ No More!’”

‘Pulse’

It’s All About Survival!

A sample from Book 6

 Pulse
(Swinger)

temptations fought
wanting to forget
righteous laws
—all I've been taught
 
this patient jaw
yearning to drop—
release this tangled flaw
 
so I wait for him
to unlock this vault
raise my pulse
with just his walk
 
through lessons
I'm caught
hunger sought
I'm just a cat's paw
yearning to claw
 
anticipating—
hearing him talk
bringing my heat
to a boil
the scent of him—
I'm lost
 
not just an afterthought
—an immediate draw
seeing him
brings naughty thoughts
desiring
to be with him
in the raw
dance sin's waltz
put me in awe
 
temptations fought
wanting to forget
righteous laws
—all I've been taught
Continue reading “‘Pulse’”

‘The Experience’

Your Anger Turns to Lust to Move You!

A sample from Book 5

 The Experience
 
I'm your past
I'm what
didn't last
I'm what
could
never last
 
I'm the passing blast
to move through
really fast
with the quickness
of a kisser's dash
 
I'm the wine glass
wearing a mask
making
my on-stop splash
 
I'm your past
leaving you
in a gasp
easily slipping
from your grasp
in your mind
thoughts are cast
in my heart
the debris
of a failed lover's task
Continue reading “‘The Experience’”

‘Choices’

The Lie: How Far Would You Go?

A sample from Book 9

 Choices
 
what's with you
you evil whore
coming in my door
trying
to rattle my feathers
don't you know
you'll only be shattered
 
it's not even a bother
not even a matter
 
my Mighty Warrior†
awaits in amusing wonder
–ready to pound
His† rage in thunder
 
no, you silly, hopeless looter
it's no immediate tit-a-tater
His† time
mover in slow swinging of chimes
comes at you
in kind
 
allowing your laughter
pitter-patter
–friends in gather
while His† children
take on your karma
in prayer
becoming the fighter
 
He† watches them
in wonder
 
why, to them, you even matter
 
He† knows
His† heart fills with joy–
He's† their father
He† watches their struggle
how in tears
they fumble
how in their faith
they don't waver
how over you
they sit...pray...think over
 
He† let's this go on
for a while
proud...each...His† true child
their sighs, their fears
their doubts
–little by little
He† releases them
–pulls them out
favors them
with His† glory
 
for each person
you tried to use
to get through–
–instead
His† children came through
for Him†
in dirt
left you to waddle
in soft words
saying...fuck you
 
as His† children's hearts settle–
He† gathers His† armor
prepares for His† battle
 
there's no riddle
to what He's† capable
–He† never deviates
from principle–
what He's† always commanded
He† still demands
 
He's† forgiving
He† forewarns
His† unconditional love
brings no harm
choices
man's very hand
 
His† prepared armor
isn't about you
you evil whore
He's† preparing to fight
your brought on strife
 
He† lowers His† head
a tear...streams down
rain, thunder rages
waiting
for the open heart
sincerity in ask
to begin His† task
watching strife consume
waiting, waiting, waiting
pounding His† heart
 
why is it so hard
placing down

truth's card
 
unconditional love
He† gives
choices we get
He† doesn't step in
'til open
true hearts begin
 
then...only then
He'll† fight–
slaughter that strife
brought on by you
you evil whore
–slam shut
your damn door
move your victim's path
into the light
where He† stays to fight
'til they win
–do their gift
coming from within 
Continue reading “‘Choices’”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!

A sample from Book 9

Oh! Are you in for a treat! I began talking about codependency in Book 6. I didn’t see the horror in it until 2015…that need to make others happy began to affect me in the worse way. The following is part of the Introduction to Book 9 in My 12-Book series.

To heal…to completely heal from abuse, you have to deal with the codependent in you. It won’t be easy. From this book all the way to Book 12, I fought it. You can do it, too. Trust in the journey and get my books…I do have a different answer than most do.

Continue reading “Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!”

Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!

A sample from Book 8

It’s a process. Sometimes a long one depending if abuse was in the mix. The follow is part of the Introduction to my 8th book in My 12-Book Series. It’s just the beginning of the acceptance stage. Depression still follows. Anger still follows you. You have a journey, but you can do it.

My journey took a twist by adding another relationship to the mix. This book is only the beginning to that. Oh! You just gotta love those who just think they don’t do any wrong. Life’s quite a ride!

“…This book is an exploration of self: Overcoming the anger, the hurt, seeing the damage and healing, understanding how God brings us to something in order to help us and not hinder us, to understand that God’s timing is not our own…and it doesn’t matter how we want to rush it, He’ll stop us in our tracks, slow us down in order for time to heal…[time to] work its magic.

Continue reading “Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!”