Tag: cheating

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the Righteous—Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

Continue reading “‘Humble of Mercy’”

‘Unconditional Terms’

‘Unconditional’ Fades When Another Takes Your Place!

A sample from Book 12

(July 25, 2018 [Didn’t post on Facebook.])—When toxicity takes its toll, there’s nothing to say or do.

A weak heart turns to go, finds a new heart to rip apart. A strong heart cries alone, struggling to regain ground, move on. You don’t lose to cheating. You lose to betrayal. That’s why those who don’t marry, stay single. They can just hang it up, move on to another. The faithful one can’t do this.

Continue reading “‘Unconditional Terms’”

‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
  
 what the hell!
all of it
 you hear that, you hear this
 ‒what is it!
  
 first they want thin
then they want fat
 first they want blond
then they want black
 first they want
a down-with-it bitch
 then they want
a church-going chick
 first they want
the naught of it
 then they want just sit
 first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
 intelligent and shit
 then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
  
 what the hell!
all of it
 you hear that, you hear this
 ‒what is it!
  
 first they want
drama-free tits
 then they add the fits
 first they want
the sex-driven licks
 then they forget how to kiss
 first they want real's click
 then goes backwards the flips
  
 what the hell!
all of it
 you hear that, you hear this
 ‒setting confusion's tick
  
 it's all the bitch of it
 flip, flip, flip
 when you're trying
to get a grip
 the crap of it...clip
  
 old bitches come in to sip
 trying to slyly unzip
 when down falls
their run-away crib
  
 new bitches force in a rip
 sending those pussy pics
 flirting to get a hit
 trying to fill
voids in the flip
  
 for a secured woman's commit‒
 it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
 she doesn't have time to rip
 ‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
 because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

‘Do Your Thing’

When they’re paving the way for another ‘thing’!

A sample from Book 12

  'Do Your Thing'
  
 standing still, so rigid
 memories return, so rapid  
 do your thing
 words that seem splendid
 once before, becoming frigid
 leaving me in stupid
  
 words that shouldn't‒ 
but still stick
 like a repeated lick
too afraid to admit‒
 concentrating on self's wick
 leaves doors open for the slick
  
 that's just not it
 it's that aged-old skit
 played out...without a script
  
 distance begins the slit
 less hugging, more anger
 words constantly in twist
 ‒making the mind constantly flip
  
 there should not be panic
 when felt before
this tactic
  
 flip, flip, flip
 skippy, skip, skip
  
 the past's certain mimic
 leaves only you in chaotic
 breaking your spirit
 turning to God for guidance
  
 less comes the kisses
every ounce of erotic
disappears in a lick
 ‒the body is just an it
 you become invalid!
time with you, the omit
 things get drastic
leaving pure conflict
 and you are the reason for it
  
 how to be so quiet
 when affection‒ 
you can't even solicit
 pushed away...again and again
 leaving you frigid
 a body drowning
in an unhealthy orbit
  
 taking you're the reason
for it
 you're not pretty enough
you're too fat, too sad
 when...in truth's logic
their argument, distance‒
 all part of the already written
transcript
 ‒no need
    to repeat it!
Continue reading “‘Do Your Thing’”

‘Depths of Heart’

Mind your heart or others will not!

A sample from Book 11

 Depths of Heart
  
 protecting self‒ 
not letting any other
 put it on a shelf
 seems to be utmost important
 ‒above anything else
  
 for in self
happiness lies
 rises high
above health
any amount of wealth
 ‒pulling the heart
out of hell
 out of the darkest well
  
 for in truth heart dwells
 untied from man's inhuman belt
 released from whatever shelf
man tries to impel
 keeping the heart from melt
 ‒happiness locked in a cell
  
 get out, get out
see yourself‒
 way deep inside
where happiness compels
 in heart
where it truly swells
Continue reading “‘Depths of Heart’”

‘Thoughts in Suicide’

When you’re driven to the point of wanting to take your life!

A sample from Book 11

 Thoughts in Suicide
  
 I sit to write‒
I had a destructive night
 one...again...I had to fight
 get out, get out
I screamed in shout
 then alone I pout
wanting to die
 ‒these thoughts in suicide
  
 I gather the pills
 then to the floor
let them spill
 then picked up the phone
 dialed somewhere
not to feel so alone
  
 1-800-273-8255 press 1
 my crying's already won
death won't come
 I can't forget‒ 
a promise not moved to undone
  
 she waits in my thoughts
 the one in memories
brought
 the one to the floor
pills fell
 myself's destruction
caught
Continue reading “‘Thoughts in Suicide’”

‘Source’

Anxiety created from the fight against codependency!

A sample from Book 11

  Source
  
 she waits‒ 
closes her eyes
 breathes deep
 ‒her face tingles
her heart races
 her palms sweat‒
 a heat under her skin
rises...coming quick
  
 shh...she repeats to herself
  
 each sound
each speck of light

 builds the burning

she fights
  
 shh...again and again
  
 don't do it...not again
 she begs repeatedly
  
 settle down, please
  
 begging, begging

   the exploding need 
 
 building, building
  
 forcing her mouth closed
 forcing her body steal
 ‒as tears stream down her face
  
 begging, begging
  
 can't you see...anyone
 can't you see
I'm trying, trying...
 my grip is slipping...
  
 as she loses control‒
 her mouth yells
or her tears fall
 ‒no matter who's around
 down, down, down
she falls
  
 back to a child‒ 
innocent, broken
 just for a while
  
 'til she regains
strengthens
 to go
one more round
in life's paradigm
 where between herself
and herself
she fights
  
 hoping, hoping
  
 the next time‒ 
she'll steady the line
 ‒that too often...
 breaks her holding-together vine
  
Continue reading “‘Source’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
  
 liars seek truth‒
 falsifying a life
without any light
  
 manipulation...their due
 cutting it on cue
 ‒without noticing
the coming dues
  
 their belief‒ 
trying to convince you
 all they do
true, true, true
 backing them‒ 
there are few
  
 their spots change
sending you to the loo
 oh! what to do?
 ‒without cursing them, too
  
 truth is truth
existing
no half truths
 ‒it's either all true
 or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”

‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

 she stood there shaking
 what have I done‒
 causing this imagined awakening
 ‒have I forsaken
 forgive me, Lord†
ease this hating
  
 in her silence
her heart opened
 ‒a simple token
 what truly lived
in this here maiden
  
 she watched them all
 as the stones began to fall
 ‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
 over and over
coming at her skin‒
 little hard balls
  
 then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
 a mere moment
she recalled
  
 the dust settled
 her tightly closed eyes opened
 upon her dress‒
 tiny red splattered drops dribbled
 her pain...tiny tickles
 what...a blink before‒ 
it seemed a fable
  
 her fear lifted‒  
was this a gift
 her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
 ‒this she did not know
 but the sudden stop
 ‒she felt her heart unfold
  
 cast your stone‒ 
if clean...your bones
  
 she heard the voice
then the made choice
 as all around
stone after stone
 hit...not her
but the ground
  
 silence remained
she still knelt‒
 in blood stains
 as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
  
 silence...not daring
to lift her head
 then a shadow overcame the red
 a hand reached out
get up child
 a mere whisper without shout
  
 strength from Him† came
 as her legs rose
 ‒her eyes did the same
  
 His† light dried her tears
 all became so clear‒ 
her heart felt clean
 in His† eyes...she seen‒ 
truth's unending scene
 her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
 ‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
 she proclaimed
 for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”
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