Tag: recovery

‘What Comes Out’

Anger: How changing this one emotion can change your entire life!

 What Comes Out
  
 she weighted
the things she's said
 ‒those retaliating words
 she weighted
the things she's done
 thinking it all hard love
 but it was anger
 ‒acting out
over another's danger
  
 what makes you do
these things?
  
 she pondered the question
 the only answer: retaliation
 she bowed her head
in confession
 responding to those living
in secret
 putting her in the dark...deeper
  
 she weighted
her lost of control
 ‒all man things took their toll
 grabbing at her in hold
 her...letting it all
use her in bold
  
 anger's put her in the red
 shaped thoughts in head
 then actions without thought
 knowing the wrong
in every heart beat
 then came further heat
  
 she weighted
all these things
 knowing too late always rings
 seeking truth
sets off anger in sing
 it's her life
not just some fling
  
 she sighed just a bit
thinking these things
 anger's become a distraction
 at times
giving satisfaction
 ‒the evil whore's demolition
  
 she bowed her head
in greater confession
 this her greatest sin
 one...with‒ 
she no longer
wants to blend
 control‒ 
a fight she's determined
to win
 ‒using gratitude
from God's† den‒
 the only way to contend
 ‒be put in the light
from way deep within
Continue reading “‘What Comes Out’”

‘Shouldering Damage’

You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness

 
Shouldering Damage
  
 upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
 shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
 –a go-getter
they couldn't take
 she...never wanting‒ 
any kinda hate
 ‒that was never
her intended fate
  ‒she let love lead the way
 ending in heavy price's
to pay
  
 only in moments
she lived in sedate
 all them medical doctors
had to medicate
 she just needed room‒ 
a bit of space
 to grasp the idea
of her body ache
 never using it as an escape
 ‒it hurt...and she was its bait
  
 she knows she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –but others led her to fall
 not caring the damage at all
  
 upon her shoulders‒ 
she wears the cape
 an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
 –emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
 a burning heart
left in saturate
 mixed with anger
lust and hate
 screaming
without intentional berate
 from love
that just couldn't stay
  
 then again‒ 
she let love be her mate
 a heart damaged‒ 
in too many ways
 –again...a turn in obliterate
 a brain burned in uncultivate
 all that damage‒ 
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
 men who couldn't bear
the cape
 of her physical‒ 
being in waste
  
 she knows she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –but others led her to fall
 not caring the damage at all
  
 she now wears‒ 
a suit of armor
from love's mate
 as the heavy scars from fake–
 I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
 builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
 the writer in massive create
  
 she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
 so she shoulders damage
left behind–
 by carelessness
and self hate
 building her rose‒ 
from a destroyer's
intentional state
  
 she knows‒ 
she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –others led her to fall
 not caring
the damage at all
  
 oh! how
she can stand tall–
 she picked herself up
from the fall
 using the rest of her life
in God's hall
 lost to true love's
missed call
 she knows‒ 
she gave it her all
 –it was not her
that caused
the fall!
Continue reading “‘Shouldering Damage’”

‘Hidden Treasure’

Discovering the hidden treasure in yourself!

 Hidden Treasure
  
 I found it
in the mince of broken
 it was afraid and hidden
 an abundantly harvested token
 ‒over used and forsaken
  
 I took it in
without fear's notion
 ‒not even feeling a demotion
 I bathed
in its scented potion
 rolled around
in its storied creation
  
 I overlooked‒ 
its wicked formation
 for I saw‒ 
a different translation
 ‒one that needed
a believer's gratification
 one with a heart-filled formulation
  
 I listened
to its every beckon
 sometimes, in stages of drunken
  
 all around...deemed it poison
 something to be shackled‒ 
in a far-away prison
  
 I threw out‒ 
traditionalized opinions
 nothing stuck‒ 
rotten or forbidden
 its scent just heightened
 ‒nothing could be wrong
or mistaken
  
 I moved like lightening
 intentional burns‒ 
gone...forgotten
 ‒days passing slow, steadfast‒ 
good ridden!
 I drove it‒ 
to an endless vacation
 ‒whatever conviction
out...came my eviction
  
 I smiled as I saw its rising
 all my stops...fully opened
 pulling it out of hopeless‒
 with my inner-most motivation
 ‒a darkened star had risen!
  
 I fought everything
in grand petition
 every inside concentration‒
 I put aside
rose to the occasion
 ‒with the fierceness of driven
 this hidden treasure
overcoming every treason
 to become the lamination
of a new generation!
  
 stop!....
  
 reveal
came its different ideas written
 all avenues taken‒ 
off records...stricken
 –beating all those defeating‒ 
overcoming...petitions
 a losing validation!
  
 I lost to its mention
 ‒there...in its private station
 came to life‒ 
its own treasure hidden
 in all its careful motions‒
 belts and strings
forcefully tightened
  
 I craved to be enlightened
 –nothing valued...given
 anything to elevate my vision
 halted in moments of frighten
  
 I fought constant bent roads‒
 tried to straighten
tried to remember each lesson
 through all that glistened‒
 it had its own secrets woven
 ‒knowledge in listen
 mixing up pointless decisions
 taking all the forgivens
 icing them‒ 
in the forever of frozen
  
 yes, I found it
in the mince of broken
 it was afraid and hidden
 an abundantly harvested token
 ‒over used and forsaken
  
 but all the good of will‒ 
off...steadily shakened
 breathing‒ 
living a horrid token
 in anger's hidden conviction
 ‒all that's been stolen‒ 
on others
its constant reliving
  
 it found its way‒ 
in rebuilding
 using knowledge given
 slashing‒ 
all help's salutations
 keeping to itself‒ 
a stolen formulation
 ‒to avoid sharing‒ 
treasures hidden
 as I sit
in lost wanderings–
 moments
I took it
out of forsaken
Continue reading “‘Hidden Treasure’”

‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger wants you steadfast! God wants you moving forward!

 Anger's Infest
  
 feel it beneath your skin
 evil's way of getting within
 actions in horror's den
 ‒ways of evil's perfect sin
  
 it'll trap you in cussing
 it'll condemn you in swearing
 pulling at you...probing
 wanting your reaction
 for it's only satisfaction
  
 it'll take all
of your triggering notions
 you...down...dragging
 as it smiles
in sadistic laughing
 craving your giving in
 your fight...it's welcoming
 celebrating
your mind's condemn
  
 anger...evil's infested gem
 words, actions
its consistency in playing
 wanting you
self to defend
 so it can celebrate
in its win
  
 feel it beneath your skin
 evil's way of getting within
 actions in horror's den
 ‒ways of evil's perfect sin
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Infest’”

‘You Bitch!’

Simple Ways for You to Defeat Negative Self Talk

A sample from Book 12

(October 16, 2018)—Are you mad at me for cussing? Get over yourself. This is a commentary that screams—It’s time for some cussing!

I’m going to give you some good information here if you suffer from depression, anger, negative self-talk to help you start turning things around in your life. Don’t worry. I’m taking this same journey, so let’s ride!

Continue reading “‘You Bitch!’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the Righteous—Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

Continue reading “‘Humble of Mercy’”

‘Unconditional Terms’

‘Unconditional’ Fades When Another Takes Your Place!

A sample from Book 12

(July 25, 2018 [Didn’t post on Facebook.])—When toxicity takes its toll, there’s nothing to say or do.

A weak heart turns to go, finds a new heart to rip apart. A strong heart cries alone, struggling to regain ground, move on. You don’t lose to cheating. You lose to betrayal. That’s why those who don’t marry, stay single. They can just hang it up, move on to another. The faithful one can’t do this.

Continue reading “‘Unconditional Terms’”

‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘Ex-foliate My Soul’

You have to leave others out of ‘self’!

A sample from Book 12

 Ex‒foliate My Soul
  
 I still hear the winds blow
 I know, still, from and to
the direction it goes
 I depend, too much
on human souls
 ‒directing my emotional role
  
 these feet‒ 
so stuck in muddy ground
 I've lost the feelings
of being found
 trying to understand
hear...every sound
 I've stumbled away
from which I'm bound
  
 raise me up, oh Lord†
 unclog‒ 
these maggot-filled holes
 rub your sands deeply in‒
 pull me out
as you wash away clean
 the filth
of this infested bowl
 help me again‒ 
feel fit and lean
 where I once had strength
of a lion
 ‒the sanctuary
of a crystal clear stream
  
 enlighten my heart, sweet Jesus†
 relight this drive
I so carelessly left behind
 enrich my soul
wash away the corrode
 so me, in ease, I can stand
on my own two feet
 understand words in my heart
 having strength to sort
 ‒without falling apart
  
 yes, Lord†, raise my tempo back up
 so I can feel, once more
the unstoppable me
 ‒that pure individual feeling
of being free
 without the need
of another's glee
  
 I open me up‒ 
mind, body, soul
 I'm, again, letting go
 so...whichever the winds blow
 matter is not needed
 for I'll be free again‒
 in the total of
letting go
Continue reading “‘Ex-foliate My Soul’”

‘Thank You for the Time’

Let yourself learn from the lessons given!

A sample from Book 12

  Thank You for the Time
  
 I often mix up the rhyme
 wanting the rhythm
in times
 then I think
this life of mine
 has to end some time
  
 thank you, Lord†, for the time
 the silence
the frozen bones
 thinking deep...on my own
 without stories to tell
 ‒just a visit home
  
 thank you, Lord†, for this time
 everyone has seeds sewn
 everyone to everyone...cloned
 beeps from a wireless phone
 passing on‒ 
without really being known
  
 I thank you anyway, Lord†
for this time
 for bleak bitterness
in my mind
 for the tearing love
in my heart
 ‒I once fought so hard
feeling so torn apart
 in this space...I am caught
 reading words‒ 
to me...once taught
  
 thank you, Lord†
my lessons are mine
 listening deep‒ 
watching go by...the time
 wondering if enough‒ 
I've been kind
  
 no backwards
only forwards
 can I move the line
 taking the lessons‒ 
building new rhyme
 understanding the journey
 through time
is not just mine
  
 thank you, Lord Jesus†
 for all those moments
in time
 I'll bring them all in
 play with them
in my mind
then cherish the rhyme
 after all, You've† given me
the time
Continue reading “‘Thank You for the Time’”
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