‘Testing Will’

Testimony: One of God’s messengers. Saying YES to the Big Man Upstairs…no matter what! My 4-year journey for love, no matter the consequences!

 Testing Will
 
He† knows me deep within
He† knows I'd give in
then...feel the guilt of sin
 
He† held me
within this evil den
all along–
as I felt alone and abandoned
as I cried and cried
struggling, fighting
–evil's bid to win
 
four years in this brethren
a feel of insanity's hymn
negative thoughts...pounding
smothered in foreign emotions
evil aware of the reason
–knowing
the purpose of my season
 
sometimes
losing it without praying
lost in extreme's commotion
at me...came every explanation
learning my self
in its manipulation
 
evil tried to win
it tried everything
digging its teeth within
 
my angels were fighting
holding me in their wings
'til I was in delivering
–my will weakening...strengthening
a day-to-day variation
–wanting it all to end
 
this sixth sense
gave its warning
the stay kept on coming
along with each
secretive manifestation
in hiding
as anxiety and panic
kept attacking
 
my self-esteem
furiously stripping
burying me in ignoring
playing in my sexuality–
what was left
of its intention
through emotional baiting
fight's annihilation
this dizzying world
kept me sinking
'til my hands
living in jittering
my eyes...blurring, drying
my hair in constant falling
my weight in agonizing gaining
my chest in heavy palpitations
my body lost
in fatigue's aggravation
my mind fighting negative
horrid inventions
my mouth became
acid's salutation
from yelling, screaming
foul annotations
to a vicious appeal
in chanting
 
I held on tight
to the calling
knowing...soon...it was ending
pleading and begging
praying and sleeping
dreaming and imagining
–holding on to
the coming glorification
 
packing and moving
God's† quick verification
to do it
even through questioning, doubting
–it all wasn't fabrication
or some childish exaggeration
but a purposeful delivering intention
–a message coming through....
fighting evil's blocking mechanism
for a soul in saving
me: a favor in returning
as God's† hardened instrumentation
 
I took it in breaking
codependency's formulation
–holding on tight
to God's† coming verification
all...
leading to enlightening, awakening
a coming out
spiritual connection
 

My Continued Spiritual Journey and My Latest Revelations…Because God Said So!

(June 13-July 6, 2019)―In this article: I will recap some events that led up to today where I’m sitting; I will show and explain how numbers work when it comes to messages and I will show how signs work (I’ve included pictures to demonstrate what I’m talking about); I will talk about the veils; I will talk about receiving messages and delivering them; and I will reveal God’s Grace once again, and how He shows His gratitude when we do what He wants us to do. So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (because this is a very long work), and get ready to be amazed! God is powerful. God is just. God is sincere. God makes a promise and shows His mercy and delivers once we complete our vows and/or the missions that He requests from us. Learning to listen is key!

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‘His Pickup’

Have you answered God’s call? He’s waiting on you!

 His† Pickup
 
I talk to the air
pretending someone's there
–it's only fair
since no one sees
how I comb my hair
 
I go for days, weeks
in this brave affair
feeling angels everywhere
then I fall to despair
acknowledging
no one's really there
wondering
if anyone really cares
 
I go until I can't
my hand to face in cry–
 
this isn't fair
 
too long I've been waiting
for the care
working, doing
wanting someone truly there
but...just surrounds me
thin air
 
I get completely lost
in this temporary despair
then...comfort arrives
out of thin air
 
I was pushed back
and about to fall,
but the Lord† helped me.
the Lord† is my strength

and my song;
He has become

my salvation.
 
revealing there's someone there
someone who truly cares
waiting, fighting there
waiting to become fully
before the Lord...bare
dealing in past affairs
–having courage to dare
 
shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents

of the righteous;
the Lord's† right hand

has done mighty things!
the Lord's† right hand

is lifted high;
the Lord's† right hand

has done mighty things!
 
victory is every where
I can feel I in the air
 
I will not die but live,
and will proclaim

what the Lord† has done.
the Lord† has chastened me severely,
but He† has not given me

over to death.
 
I know all won't be lost
in despair
I know there will be saved
so many little hairs
so I basked in this empty air
as...taking place
the attended affairs
 
open for me
the gates of righteousness;
I will enter

and give thanks to the Lord†.
this is the gate of the Lord†
through which

the righteous may enter.
I will give You† thanks

for You† answered me;
You† have become my salvation.

 
all things will be fair
as comes...the perfect affair
 
the stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;
the Lord† has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
this is the day the Lord† has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

 
seeing truth...so there
I anticipate
with welcoming flair
I know this heart I wear
–out of pure despair
comes a star's brilliant glare
 
o Lord†, save us;
o Lord†, grant us success.
blessed is he who comes

in the name of the Lord†.
from the house of the Lord†

we bless you.
the Lord† is God†,
and He† has made His† light

shine upon us.
with boughs in hand

join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar

 
in bowed head...I do declare
life is as it should be–
it's not in the tear
but in the solid of repair
that God† reveals
His† humble stare
 
You† are my God†
and I will give You† thanks;
You† are my God†

and I will exalt You†.
give thanks to the Lord†

for He† is good;
His† love endures forever.
—psalm 118

He’s Waiting On You!

(July 5, 2019)—I haven’t written in a while…been busy with the testimony of my recent events, which has proven not difficult, but more of a soul-searching deal that’s taking me nearing over a month now to work on. It’s okay. I have plenty time. There’s never a rush for things these days. In due time, they do come. But I have been working diligently and long hours. I went to bed at 5 a.m. this morning and woke up at around noon to people asking me if I felt the earthquake. No. I’ve been busy.

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