‘Allegorium’

What it takes to keep love!

A sample from Book 11

 Allegorium
 
(what is it in life
if you can't tell
wrong from right
to see in sight
what is of great heights
to know
from a wrong fight
and a right fight
‒one worth the cry
one not worth the try)
 
there was a yell, a scream
an act of rage
mixed in scents of sage
 
she would leave
she would leave today
her bags...she began to pack
‒the stress off her back
 
she voiced everything
she wanted to sack
her mind lost in a haze
remembering
all those great days
‒reasons why she stayed
 
anger filled in a maze
this way, that way
‒which path to take
 
wanting to run
in spite of the fun
then in comes the pun‒
standing eye to eye
tears suddenly
fill in cry
 
we just can't be together  

shaking
coming from deep inside

I know

each not willing to move‒
standing their ground
knowing
without making a sound
it all comes down
to mixes in race
different traditions
different tastes
 
but that's just the base
to what lies beneath‒
experiences
in the lace
 
wanting her to stay
knowing
his moments in rage
‒can't keep her in a cage
from her mind
it won't fade
searching
for words to say
 
wanting nothing in fright
in his dark eyes‒
seeing the willing light
wanting her to seek it
please make it bright
understand the hard in my life
for it, I had to fight
sealing up everything inside

 
confusion succumbed‒
the sudden in rays
from his silent, pleading glaze
it's not just his aces and eights
that's on the take
 
she adds up the sum
to it, he wasn't dumb
every piece, every crumb
has to be sorted‒
to smooth out
the constant lump
 
another chance
another steady ride
taking each side
‒what's buried in hide
no matter how many lows and highs
wobbling
through pass homicides
all those moments‒
others confused their minds
making them want to pounce‒
in anger...quickly dive
 
thinking through it‒
hearing every sound
warnings, confusion, heart‒
feeling the surface of found
wondering where its bound
this constant round
has to sooner or later
release its hound
when wanting to stay
is all around
 
softly relaxing
the lines on her face
that unconditional
is not in a trace
‒it's in the base
of foundation's lace
without living in a race
 
what others see as a toxic tray
may just be
the difference in race
in raised traditional's case
‒angers set in
wanting to be erased
 
each learning to let go‒
what once slapped them
in the face
releasing anger's ways
that keeps trapping them
in a haze
‒exploding in a blaze
 
what is it in life
if you can't tell
wrong from right
to see in sight
what is of great heights
‒to know Yeshuah's† life
why for us, He† died
 
love is worth the ride
for it, pay the price
for the reward
everlasting life
Continue reading “‘Allegorium’”

‘I’m But a Child’

Take It To God and Let the Child In You Breathe!

A sample from Book 7

 I'm But a Child
 
would you believe in Him†
if you had riches of gold
would you honor Him†
if you weren't in the cold
 
in your darkest days
do you hold faith
 
when no money's in hand
when deceived by man
do you cry out to Him†
in a simple hymn
 
when possessions
flood your gates
when you have so much to take
do you stop a moment
say wait
let me give some away
 
do you welcome
the sinful in
treat them
like a friend
or do you shun them
thinking
you're better than them
 
do you hide
what's deep inside
swallowed by ego and pride
not wanting the outside
see you cry
or do you rise high
trusting in God†
that He†
won't turn with a sigh
but see your I
never asking you why
never you, He'll† deny
 
are you strong enough
to admit
I'm but a child
I've failed along the miles
but God's† with me

all the while
 
it takes strength
to admit defeat
falling to His† feet
forgiveness...plead
 
unconditional love
free will
 
His† love is sealed
His† love is real
 
He† forgives you
it's all up to you
with nothing
to others
to prove  
Continue reading “‘I’m But a Child’”

‘Salvation’s Need’

To Deny Others Is To Deny God!

 Salvation's Need
 
test after test
I have failed
my 360
to the cross...nailed
You† brought people to me
in their time of weak
‒salvation
I failed to help them seek
 
instead, I buried them deep
words from my mouth
did seep
actions
I didn't allow to creep
in self
I curled up in weep
 
my time has come and sailed
out of all of it
I tend to bail
turning my back
not wanting to see
how another's picture
on them...creeps
I just give up and flee
 
whatever awakens
this ignorance of me
strip it
take it from me
strengthen me
help me to see
keep me from feeling sorry
lost in self pity
 
Lord†, this part of me
that lived unselfishly
I lost
please return it to me
without this lumpy throat
from way down deep
without fears and anxiety
help me open my mouth
speak
in words of calm
humility, peace
without selfish
insecurities
Continue reading “‘Salvation’s Need’”

‘Hype Me Up’

We Women Just Want to be Hyped Up!

A sample from Book 7

  Hype Me Up!
 
take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
 
teach me to laugh‒
spread my cheeks
show my teeth
 
help me burst through
show me happy's view
that's all
I'm asking of you
 
open these doors
lift me off the floor
give me off-the-wall reasons
‒smiling without ending seasons
 
I just need a little help
to be more than myself
 
show me what life is like
without all the hype
 
give me a chance
to really know
how it feels
to dance
 
take me as I am
be my teacher
not some
manipulative preacher
 
let me be
your choice
without a need
to calm my voice
 
yes, take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
put me back into life
reopen my eyes
 
let me giggle
let me wiggle
 
teach me to run
show me
what it's like
to again have fun
 
be my guide
let me ask my whys
take me out of this shy
 
teach me to trust
let me have my lust
let me throw things, fuss
 
teach me we are enough
‒hype me up
with unconditional love
 
show me
even when I fall
‒through it all
I'm still your number one
my I am
is all I need to be
‒all you want to see
Continue reading “‘Hype Me Up’”

‘Bringing Her Back’

She’s Inside There. Go Get Her!

A sample from Book 7

 Bringing Her Back
 
she took a step off the curve
her mind racing‒
which way to turn
 
the wind blowing in her hair
pulling her coat tight‒
she wandered for a while
then just stood there
 
frozen
listening
 
people were talking
kites were flying
cars were passing
behind her a soft rustle
she turned
to someone jogging
a squirrel sitting, staring
in the distance‒
a dog barking
then she felt it
‒no longer the need for dying
 
she felt life‒
she deserved
her heart beating
there was so much more to learn
 
she smiled
not a big smile
no, not one just anyone could see
it was an inside smile
on her lips‒
the hint of a small curve
 
she closed her eyes
enclosed herself in her arms
held her head back
her feet began to move in a tiny circle
I'm coming back
the gentle voice in her head
she heard
 
suddenly but gently
she stopped
opened her eyes
there before her...a path
not knowing
if it was the way she wanted to go
or the way she needed to go
she just began walking
her smile noticeable to all
she was now free
‒no longer a caged bird
Continue reading “‘Bringing Her Back’”

‘Ignorance of Spirit’

Would You Listen If Someone Tried To Help You?

 Ignorance of Spirit

our bodies are the temple
our hearts...filled with love
a mark placed from above
through the spilling‒
of an innocent man's blood

since that day
comes few miracles
in faith, we must see
when words are sent to believe
to take us out of deceive
words placed in hearts
way down deep
for only us to reach
for only one to receive

we set boundaries, principles
God's† words come in a nudge
giving us a rush
with a unwelcomed blush
‒something He† wants of us
something we can't‒
down toilets...flush
in dreams, in signs
comes the flood
'til we no longer‒
to the side...can shove
 
we become
a quiet little disciple
knowing what‒
inside...breathes
relaying messages to relieve
to tone down‒
the spiritual creed
‒silently waddling in scream
 
how will they believe
without something in see
 
any forced retrieve
will just not be!
...goes further the decree
faith...for some...so weak
matching the heart's message in lead‒
a solid force shown in see
 
disclosing the known‒
small strokes to brush
without any lust
‒crushing every bit of trust
 
a task so tough
the pull to run...give up
wanting to do away
with this stuff
‒too deep holds the grudge
 
all the pieces‒
just too much
too many things
running a muck
realizing the struggling pup‒
unbelief
buried in dirty mud
‒thoughts in heart
begins to be enough
 
down, down, down
into so much mush
 
if you don't help
erase the slush
 
then...comes in
the morning dove
the symbol of love
saying don't give up
‒messages from above
that you can't
aside...shove!
Continue reading “‘Ignorance of Spirit’”

‘Kicking through Doors’

Is Someone’s Crime Taking Away What You Stand For?

A sample from Book 10

 Kicking through Doors
 
fighting through nights
hated words
blank looks
cold tones-
it's a right
like a sworn-in knight
say it-
see what's in sight
 
bleeding words of hosea
a foreign arena
-a returned agenda
replayed cinema
-one certain agenda:
 
incorporation of rejection
ignoring revelations
already experienced
by nations
 
historical indications‒
God's† bold proclamations
man's once-again revoltation
 
keeping in the light
‒a constant fight
suffering through blight
experiencing God's† might
 
turning it around
‒say something sound
as in past stories found
leaves truth-
the drowning clown
 
like centuries before
keep kicking through doors
His† powers...the core
that's what truth's for
–leaving hatred
that embedded lore
in the constance
of sore
Continue reading “‘Kicking through Doors’”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”