Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer.

‘Bringing Her Back’

She’s Inside There. Go Get Her!

A sample from Book 7

 Bringing Her Back
  
 she took a step off the curve
 her mind racing‒ 
which way to turn
  
 the wind blowing in her hair
 pulling her coat tight‒
 she wandered for a while
then just stood there
  
 frozen
listening
  
 people were talking
kites were flying
 cars were passing
behind her a soft rustle
 she turned
to someone jogging
 a squirrel sitting, staring
 in the distance‒ 
a dog barking
 then she felt it
 ‒no longer the need for dying
  
 she felt life‒ 
she deserved
 her heart beating
 there was so much more to learn
  
 she smiled
not a big smile
 no, not one just anyone could see
 it was an inside smile
 on her lips‒ 
the hint of a small curve
  
 she closed her eyes
 enclosed herself in her arms
 held her head back
 her feet began to move in a tiny circle
 I'm coming back
 the gentle voice in her head
she heard
  
 suddenly but gently
she stopped
opened her eyes
 there before her...a path
not knowing
 if it was the way she wanted to go
 or the way she needed to go
 she just began walking
 her smile noticeable to all
 she was now free
 ‒no longer a caged bird
Continue reading “‘Bringing Her Back’”

‘A Letter to Pandora’

Say It: ‘I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar!’

A sample from Book 6

 A Letter to Pandora
  
 my dearest pandora:
you evil whore
 stop opening false doors
 I'm tired
of your illusive detours
 ‒your negative gore
  
 I'll admit
I fell for the allure
 the I love yous
the you're beautifuls
  
 I'll admit
 in my glass
I let others pour
  
 I gave up control
let others take it
 then gave them more
  
 their promising lure
came slow, gradual
  
 I believed in I'm yours
 I believed in giving
 ‒times four
  
 I swallowed hard
walked, paced floors
  
 I cried and cried
hid my raging sword
 as more and more
me...they ignored
 ‒never questioning
what for
  
 all this rage built
I learned to hoard
 keeping the peace
I constantly explored
 praying you'd close
 these selfish-hearted doors
  
 but I see
how easily
you get bored
 needing to keep
good hearts torn
 ‒racking up scores
on your evil board
  
 enough!
I'm tired of being scorned
 you're just
an evil whore
  
 my rage is building wings
 ‒jamming closed
your controlling doors
  
 hear me roar!
 I'm not a board
to be walked on
 or drilled
with material nails
 ‒your false lure
  
 I'm a woman
an unyielding commodore
 high‒ 
I will soar
 above all
your negative gore
  
 look up
you wretched whore
 I am woman
   hear me roar!
Continue reading “‘A Letter to Pandora’”

‘Codependent’

The Codependent: Make Yourself Happy First!

A sample from Book 6

 Codependent
  
 I've tried to help
 in ways
that didn't help
  
 I've said yes
then no
to my self
  
 I've avoided
hurting others
 only to hurt myself
  
 to trust my own feelings
 I've been afraid
  
 I've believed lies
 then betrayed-
I often felt
  
 I wanted to get even
punish others
 for putting me
on a shelf
  
 I often
became smothered
 in anger and hate
 -wanting to kill
not feeling safe
  
 I've fought
for others' rights
 when they didn't know
how the law swayed
 only to be left
alone
 like an abandoned stray
  
 I've often settled
for others' worth
 -left my own
to grow another day
  
 I became
the reaction
 to others' anger and hate
 instead of listening to self
 walking my own way
  
 I became
less of me
 for others
to be set free
  
 I've lost myself
to dependency
 on how others felt
 without seeing
my own need
 to be free
   to be just me
Continue reading “‘Codependent’”

‘Stepping into the Fear’

Forget the Fear. Concentrate On What You Want!

A sample from Book 6

 Stepping into the Fear
  
 what you are is what you think
 ―an old worn out thing
 but living half your life
you come to see
 how truly right
these words ring
  
 any day-dreaming thought
 even silently in the dark
 ―closed secret of the heart
 given enough time
begins to shape its part
  
 if the pictures seep in your head
 while laying in bed
 something you dread
or just want to unwed
 ―be careful
your repeated secret byline
 given enough time
 will come to you
will come true
  
 it takes years
to make the picture clear
 bits and pieces― 
many scenarios pass through
 your reality won't mock it
 your actions won't show it
 but in the universe
you did throw it
  ―over and over
believing it just fantasy
 only your mind can see
 nothing close to your reality
 what does it hurt
losing yourself to its scenes
  
 just a day-dreaming thought
 something imagined in the dark
 ―silently in your heart
 where no one has to be fought
 something you think
not really sought
 given enough time
begins to shape its part
  
 with enough passing days
 with enough nights to fade
 the fantasy slowly builds
 secret thoughts turn real
  
 the universe enjoys enough time
 fantasy to reality begins to align
 instead of in your head
 ―hidden secrets fed
soon to become
a life led
  
 deep inside
you try to deny
 your eyes continuously cry
 this can't be right
 you start a war
 ―feverously fight
 an outward dreaded fear
 ―at first unclear
 the day-dreaming thoughts stop
 as hands move on a clock
tic-toc, tic-toc
 all your eye-seeing reality
 becomes your secret fantasy
 not exactly the way you saw
 ―the same is the result
  
 wiping away the tears
 now, it's all perfectly clear
 what you wanted the most
 ―the secret you didn't boast
 was the one thing
you truly feared
 the fantasy
that only the universe
could hear
  
 so it changed your course
 ―it may feel forced
 you yell, scream, cry
over and over asking why
 repeat, repeat, repeat
'til you're hoarse
  
  it leaves you no choice
 but to step into your fear
 ―see your secret thoughts
 as the true reality
of your heart  
Continue reading “‘Stepping into the Fear’”

‘A Rose When It Blooms’

A Woman Becomes Awesome After the ‘Hard’!

A sample from Book 6

 A Rose When It Blooms
  
 it's easy to pass it by
 if you don't have a good eye
 it's easy to deny
 ―be easily satisfied
by its humble life
  
 it's easy to say goodbye
 if you don't understand― 
its true vibe
 instead of just
its surface shy
  
 it's hard to describe
 what comes from deep inside
 watching a rose come alive
 ―shine in the light
 spread its wings and divide
  
 it's hard to simplify
its gentle lullaby
 ―its pure divine
 without trying to deprive
its exotic fire
 it's hard to amplify
 what its many colors
signify
 or how it mystifies
emotions and desires
 it's hard to transcribe
without trying to terrify
 or leaving questions of why
 ―I'm willing to try
  
 when a rose awakes and divides
emotions thrive
 its very beauty signifies
its power from God†
 ―adding harmony to lives
 making a grown man cry
 leaving the most vocal soul
tongue-tied
  
 once awoken― 
a rose transpires
 all of its drive
all of its pride
 to its newly created empire
 it doesn't try to bribe
 with all its energy it dives
 overriding its individual side
 transforming its tide
refusing to deprive
 so that its vibrance can thrive
  
 with its own awakening desires
  it doesn't place a price
 or intend to bring strife
 it doesn't even think twice
 or wonder if it's right
 it doesn't need or try to justify
 ―connive or lie
 it just breathes life
 ―a humbling sacrifice
 byway of God's† pure light
  
 yes, it's easy to pass by
 if you don't have a good eye
 it's easy to deny
 the beauty of a rose
 ―opening and coming alive
Continue reading “‘A Rose When It Blooms’”

‘Twenty-Year Itch’

Trust Me: It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 Twenty-Year Itch
  
 there's a glitch
 in this marriage-is-forever niche
 no one says it
 when selling their pitch
 they just say―
marriage is a gift
 no more ifs
no more endless cliffs
 but it's all a myth
for there's a ditch
 from which
comes the switch
 where love drifts
lies are rich
 truths are a bitch
change is swift
  
 heed this warnings' monolith
 the twenty-year itch
 comes from this sudden twitch
 egotistical snitch
 a labyrinth
a deceptive clinch
 leaving you adrift
lost to miff
 without even one
   understanding flinch
Continue reading “‘Twenty-Year Itch’”

‘The Hanging’

When You’re Caught In Silent Abuse

A sample from Book 1

 The Hanging
  
 the heart thumps
a thunderous bolt
 tightens and roars—
 wrapping, squeezing
like a sailor’s rope
  
 hunger escapes
while sleeplessness eludes
 jolted and battered—
 feeling the vapor
of a flowerless fool
  
 shaking
with rupturing chills
 cold and hot—
 not quite understanding
this weathering thrill
  
 voice over voice
cloud the mind
 yes or no—
 eyes turn cold
moisten
then go blind
  
 searching for light
yearning to yell
 craving an escape—
 this pending doom
to a bottomless hell
  
 beneath there’s bound
to be salvation
 somewhere to run—
 ‘til then
there’s only damnation
Continue reading “‘The Hanging’”

‘Silence of Me’

You Tend To Hang On. It’s Normal.

A sample from Book 5

 Silence of Me
  
 I look at me
I hear me
 wishing
I wouldn't be
hurting
 I ruffled the sea
this romantic bee
 twisting
words I see
 wanting
to be free
 saying
it's better for me
 misrepresenting
what
I want to be
 just you
I do see
 putting
all thoughts
free
 relating
what's
inside of me
 hoping
you'd see
confusion's deed
 all that I aim to be
all that I use to be
 my wanting
to be free
inside of me
 there's more to see
the outside sea
 wanting
you along side of me
open and free
 awakening
what used to be
  
 look at me
hear me
 all there is to be
  
 a wall closed to me
burying me
 deep
inside of me
silence of me
 wishing
I wouldn't be
  
Continue reading “‘Silence of Me’”

‘Text Me’

Moving Through Anger with Bargaining!

A sample from Book 5

 Text Me
  
 in this phone
I am a clone
 away from home
easily...I roam
 no longer alone
  
 words I've thrown
 cast a bone
string along
 however long
I want you to belong
  
 in this phone
I'm on loan
 read my worded song
 I'm wearing a thong
 ―hear me moan
 I'll send a picture―
 for your visual tone
  
 with words I'm strong
 ―played like a trombone
 I can turn you on
 in my world
you'll be drawn
  
 in this phone
nothing's wrong
 it's my zone
 imaginations grown
  
 be careful― 
if to me you're drawn
 I'll take you
where you've not yet gone
 for in this phone
I own
my imaginary throne
 I'll make you moan
dance to my song―
 your emotions
get too strong
 I'll exit
and be gone
Continue reading “‘Text Me’”

‘Hold My Hand’

Men: Just Do It!

A sample from Book 5

 Hold My Hand
  
 when I'm lost
 ― confused
 wanting to give up
 will you hold my hand
  
when I doubt
want a way out
 will you stick around
  
 when I'm angry
 ―scream
call you names
 will you not place blame
  
 when I cry
lost in sadness
 will you change my mind
 to live and not die
  
 when I hate
my vision clouded
 will you be my guide
 tell me my life
is not a lie
  
 when I want to run
 leave all behind
draw a heavy line
 will you walk beside me
 ―hold my hand
take my feet
from the sand
 plant them
on solid ground
  
 when I'm alone
lost in darkness
 make you want to leave
will you forgive
 help my eyes to see
 everything
I want to be
  
 when I'm here
 cold...closed up inside
 will you stay
give me space
 help me see my way
  
 when I want
to give up
 will you stand by me
take my hand
 help me be free
help me to see
 what it takes
to be happy
Continue reading “‘Hold My Hand’”