Tag: Narcissist

‘Text Me’

Moving Through Anger with Bargaining!

A sample from Book 5

 Text Me
  
 in this phone
I am a clone
 away from home
easily...I roam
 no longer alone
  
 words I've thrown
 cast a bone
string along
 however long
I want you to belong
  
 in this phone
I'm on loan
 read my worded song
 I'm wearing a thong
 ―hear me moan
 I'll send a picture―
 for your visual tone
  
 with words I'm strong
 ―played like a trombone
 I can turn you on
 in my world
you'll be drawn
  
 in this phone
nothing's wrong
 it's my zone
 imaginations grown
  
 be careful― 
if to me you're drawn
 I'll take you
where you've not yet gone
 for in this phone
I own
my imaginary throne
 I'll make you moan
dance to my song―
 your emotions
get too strong
 I'll exit
and be gone
Continue reading “‘Text Me’”

‘A Woman’s Strength’

You Deserve Appreciation and Love!

A sample from Book 5

  A Woman's Strength
  
 did you think of me today
 no call came my way
 underneath my smile I sway
no words do I say
 I thought of you all day
 as I rushed through my filled plate
  
 early I started to bake
 not long the house was laced
 with the smell of your favorite
chocolate cake
  
 the kids were at play
 a new toy
one did break
 one became the prey
the other screamed hate
 peace...I had to make
clearing the haze
 putting smiles on their face
 anger left no trace
but it was too late
 the cake―
I had to throw away
  
 ring phone ring
I did pray
 hoping you'd call to say hey
  
 then the dog did stray
 I had to move in haste
apologies to convey
 the neighbor's yard― 
a garbage-strung maze
 after an hour's pace
 a cleaned yard
done in good faith
  
 I reentered the house
 noticed it was only eight
 my day― 
moving at a slow rate
 still no word from my mate
  
 breakfast I did make
 then the taste of toothpaste
 the cleaned dish plates
no time to wait
 everyone dress
screamed hurrah
  
 to the babysitters― 
who monthly I pay
 to take my place
 a goodbye kiss
a last minute wave
 off to work
my smile...fake
  
 then I remember
I hadn't ate
 my eight-hour day
drove its heavy weight
 still no word from my mate
  
 rush-hour traffic
a nerve-raking state
 thus beginning the evening chase
 babysitter, supper
no flirter's bait
comes my way
 sent the children
off to bathe
 finally you call
again...you're working late
 a quiet evening to waste
 long, restless night
again...I must face
 until you're home
and I feel safe
  
 did you think of me today
 no call came my way
 underneath my smile I sway
no words do I say
 I thought of you all day
 as I rushed through
my filled plate
  
Continue reading “‘A Woman’s Strength’”

‘The Experience’

Your Anger Turns to Lust to Move You!

A sample from Book 5

 The Experience
  
 I'm your past
I'm what
didn't last
 I'm what
could
never last
  
 I'm the passing blast
 to move through
really fast
 with the quickness
of a kisser's dash
  
 I'm the wine glass
wearing a mask
 making
my on-stop splash
  
 I'm your past
leaving you
in a gasp
 easily slipping
from your grasp
 in your mind
thoughts are cast
 in my heart
the debris
of a failed lover's task
Continue reading “‘The Experience’”

‘Anger’s Brethren’

Don’t Use the Children!

A sample from Book 5

 Anger's Brethren
  
 its face is ugly
 peeking through
little by little
 building its soul
 one small piece at a time
  
 vulnerability
it patiently waits
 then the attack
increasing the heartbeat
 clouding
a once throughout plan
 wilting the roses
rains replacing sunshines
 beautiful language
turns to spiteful vengeance
 over ruling logic
 hardening
closing open hearts
  
 its face is ugly
destroying all good
 taking its time
taking all time
 closing doors
'til love exist
no more
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Brethren’”

‘Basic Need’

You Have the Need: So Fucking Roar!

A sample from Book 1.

 Basic Need
  
 we hide our self
 behind
walls we built
  
 not being good enough
truly felt
 being afraid
fear tightens our belt
  
 past haunts‒ 
needing to prove oneself
 strengthens
our woven quilt
 submersed
in unforgiving guilt
  
 worries
attack our health
 negative thoughts
 keeping away life's wealth
  
 once you've knelt
 stop hiding
beneath the buried shelf
  
 the past
takes care of itself
 no longer
feeling like an elf
  
 pain
will suddenly melt
 you'll be happy
with yourself
Continue reading “‘Basic Need’”

‘Yelled Sarcasm’

5 Ways to Heal ‘Self’ from Abuse and Trauma

 Yelled Sarcasm
  
 speaking out of turn
 oh! how this heart burns
  
 this once gentle character
stripped
 each time a tone of voice
tips
  
 gone the plow
that once endured
 for this ache!
there is no cure
  
 once betrayed
bitterness lays
 honesty...only the heart craves
  
 that forever solid pace
yearned
 ‒left with only discern
  
 out the heart‒
emotions...flipped
 drops of dimes‒
where truth is clipped
  
 all smells like week-old manure
 ‒nothing left that's pure
  
 seconds, minutes, hours‒
turn to days
 as what was‒
gets lost in a bitter haze
Continue reading “‘Yelled Sarcasm’”

‘Ignorance of Spirit’

Would You Listen If Someone Tried To Help You?

 Ignorance of Spirit

our bodies are the temple
our hearts...filled with love
a mark placed from above
through the spilling‒
of an innocent man's blood

since that day
comes few miracles
in faith, we must see
when words are sent to believe
to take us out of deceive
words placed in hearts
way down deep
for only us to reach
for only one to receive

we set boundaries, principles
God's† words come in a nudge
giving us a rush
with a unwelcomed blush
‒something He† wants of us
something we can't‒
down toilets...flush
in dreams, in signs
comes the flood
'til we no longer‒
to the side...can shove
 
we become
a quiet little disciple
knowing what‒
inside...breathes
relaying messages to relieve
to tone down‒
the spiritual creed
‒silently waddling in scream
 
how will they believe
without something in see
 
any forced retrieve
will just not be!
...goes further the decree
faith...for some...so weak
matching the heart's message in lead‒
a solid force shown in see
 
disclosing the known‒
small strokes to brush
without any lust
‒crushing every bit of trust
 
a task so tough
the pull to run...give up
wanting to do away
with this stuff
‒too deep holds the grudge
 
all the pieces‒
just too much
too many things
running a muck
realizing the struggling pup‒
unbelief
buried in dirty mud
‒thoughts in heart
begins to be enough
 
down, down, down
into so much mush
 
if you don't help
erase the slush
 
then...comes in
the morning dove
the symbol of love
saying don't give up
‒messages from above
that you can't
aside...shove!
Continue reading “‘Ignorance of Spirit’”

‘Kicking through Doors’

Is Someone’s Crime Taking Away What You Stand For?

A sample from Book 10

 Kicking through Doors
  
 fighting through nights
 hated words
blank looks
 cold tones-
it's a right
 like a sworn-in knight
 say it-
see what's in sight
  
 bleeding words of hosea
 a foreign arena
 -a returned agenda
 replayed cinema
 -one certain agenda:
  
 incorporation of rejection
 ignoring revelations
 already experienced
by nations
  
 historical indications‒
 God's† bold proclamations
 man's once-again revoltation
  
 keeping in the light
 ‒a constant fight
 suffering through blight
 experiencing God's† might
  
 turning it around
 ‒say something sound
 as in past stories found
 leaves truth-
the drowning clown
  
 like centuries before
 keep kicking through doors
 His† powers...the core
 that's what truth's for
 –leaving hatred
that embedded lore
 in the constance
of sore
Continue reading “‘Kicking through Doors’”

Are You Being Submissive Willingly?

(March 2, 2019)—Submissive. I rejoined POF. I was on this site in 2012 and got off because it was foul. I paid this go around to see if anything’s better just for conversation. There’s some interesting folks.

I had an interesting conversation with a guy and the word submissive was brought into the conversation. I had seen this word on another guy’s profile…and it just blew my mind! They are demanding that a woman be submissive!

Continue reading “Are You Being Submissive Willingly?”

The Day of the Woman

How Narcissist Play Their Game

A sample from Book 9

(Written in 2016)—It’s the day of the Woman! This quote says it all right there. I write about abuse and the five stages of grief (the process of surviving through them by-way of my personal journey) and it’s ALL public. [It is in my books.] It would make sense that I’m a child of God. A stubborn one. My mama always said so, too. My daughter swears this, too. So, I am sweet. But being a survivor that I am, I’m also a raging warrior when I need to be. That’s what makes a strong woman strong.

I’ve stated that my writing was going to squash all them narcissist abusers out there. I wasn’t kidding. They can see their ways or not. Of course, none of them will because they believe they are perfect, they refuse to see how they treat people as wrong.

Continue reading “The Day of the Woman”