Tag: hope

‘Men of Songs’

Understanding depression and the veils by-way of Job!

 Men of Songs
  
 I thrash out my complaints
 I take the hurt, the Blame
 put it all on my shoulders‒
 knowing
through all this rough terrain
 not one showed Sincerity
not one came
  
 so I let tears fall
like rain
 open my mouth
my worded train
 feeling alone, empty
worthless...plain
 wondering if I'm really insane
  
 I cast out my stones to You†
 ‒Your† broken little dame
 all these tasks
my Life...so drained
 not knowing the final aim
 just take it all in‒
 the arrows of false names
 on invisible ropes...I hang
  
 told...Life is but a game
 learn to play it...you win fame
  
 You† and I know‒
 that's not how it's framed
 Life isn't at all a game
 You†...no one can tame
 someone so righteous‒
 You† easily cast in flames
 and that person
will never be the same
  
 when this heart
feels weak in faint
 I look at all my I can'ts
 I re-hear all those filthy names
 know...none of them...I ain't
 but I know‒
 I'm such a tiny piece of grain
 and the only fame
to be claimed
 is that of Your† sweet, sweet name
  
 I'm so, so tired
of being maimed
 so tired of lonely's strain
 what have I gained
 on this hateful, lonely lane
  
 I know it's part of Yeshuah's† name
 each and every vein
 I'm so weary...feelings‒
 my work done in vain
 so, I call on you...Yeshuah†
 please take all my complaints
 straight to our Father†
 ‒pull me out
this agonizing drain
 forgive all my trespasses
 turn me over‒
 to at least one heart
who feels the same
 ‒a bit of hunger
a bit of tame
 to do works of Good‒
 in Your† sweet, sweet name

(July 24, 2019)—Our mothers. Veils. Mercy. I’ve been having a hard time putting my thoughts on paper lately. It may not seem like it but it’s still true. I end up writing it in my head then when I sit down, the same thoughts that I had don’t come out. I didn’t want to write anymore. For the past week or so, I’ve been in a battle with my self I guess you could say. I’m tired. I’ve been doing this work for seven years now. I’ve been writing and teaching and learning for over 10. I’m tired. But I’m to keep going.

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‘Solitary Confinement’

The truth of planting seeds by-way of Jeremiah! It’s time for hurting to take the personal responsibility to heal.

 
 Solitary Confinement
  
 they're out there enjoying Life
 those who Lied and betrayed
 while she sits in silence
 waiting for her time
  
 they all believe the opposite
 of what is True
 they are all blinded in fool
 while her tears cause her to drool
 praying...her inward tool
 for being condemned
 doing what she was supposed to do
  
 all abandoned her
 deciding to judge
 where no judgment was due
 pitying her–
 where no pitying was due
  
 so she accepts the cross
 ‒knowing full well...who's in charge
 in the waves of other's flaws
 like a rage doll...she was tossed
  
 but her hopes
stayed with the Light
 their insecurities
weren't even her fight
 in her eyes
she just watched their blight
 screamed at them
in her troubled fight
 thinking it was her right
 standing up for herself
against the night
 those suffering for lack of insight
 in only the Lord†
can things ever be right
  
 yes, she watched...screamed
 with all her might
 years of blight‒
 but it was never her fight
 ‒she was already in the Light
  
 so she waits...sometimes in cry
 accepting the silence
 her temporary confinement
 forever lasting enlightenment
 as those who suffer inside
 play with false lives
on the outside
 ‒the lost coveting what they lost
 concealing in Lies...lost
 not knowing what it means
 to take it to the cross
  
 yes, they condemn her, judge her
 placing her in depressed...lost
 when all the while‒
 what they refused to see
 she was always a Faithful child
 of the Boss!

(July 23, 2019)—There’s a lot going on but little of nothing. What’s taking place in my life is not on the outside per say. I never really knew what was meant by Spiritual Awakening. To be honest, I thought it was all a bunch of crap. But I could never deny the things I’ve experienced when it came to the spiritual world. All the experiences I’ve written about in My 12-Book Series, well, they actually happened. Everything I’m experiencing now…it’s actually happening. It’s not in my mind, or some crazy deal. I think this is the part that separates the spiritual realm from the rest of the world. People go to church every day all around the world, but they really don’t understand what they are hearing or reading about because so much is left out of those preachings.

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‘A Waiting Maze’

God patiently awaits for you to choose by-way of Zechariah! The 4th message to you ‘Today’s Society’. It’s up to you to listen!

 A Waiting Maze
  
 He's† not going to help
 what you can do yourself
 be wise, full of zeal
 each other...Truth...tell
 don't condemn your brother
 stay clear and calm of harm
 evil...raise alarms
 don't buy into charm
  
 recognize...yes, recognize
 what's in disguise
 your responsibility
your turn to be wise

 see through Lies
 it's time to stop the randomize
 heal those traumatized
 ‒save them from Lies
  
 there's no such thing as elves
 ‒must believe in self
 feelings for another...felt
 in order for you to help
  
 you've wasted enough time
 draw that much Needed line
 understand...the Divine
 before it's too late
to even try

(July 18, 2019)—I didn’t want to write anymore. Well, I got two today. The first ‘A Waiting Maze’ and Zechariah! The second ‘Hold Them Hard!’ and Ezekiel! Again…this is all concerning today’s society!

The Scripture I was led to this morning is about the Jews building the temple. This is during Haggai’s mission…some time around 520 B.C. This was NOT why I was lead to this. A theme starting in ‘Orchestrated Part’ and it is continuing…almost every 2 days. So, I’m going with it.

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‘When You Are Sure!’

The veils revealed through Ezekiel 38 and 39.

 When You Are Sure!
  
 self righteousness
won't get you far
 look to the stars
 get out of your cars
 stare
not at mars...stars
  
 your petty judgments
 your petty arguments
 have not compared to wars
 the Lord† has charged
  
 out of Peace
He† can forge
 start from nothing...wars
 use the enemy
for a cause
 that didn't exist
until veils barged
  
 your evil thoughts
won't get you too far
 for He's† in charge!
  
 you don't have a say
on your part
 when He† Needs
to move forward‒
 His† barge!

(July 16, 2019)―I’m to write my truth to you. A lot has been going on in my world and it is happening fast. I seem to have written enough about the healing…what we are responsible to do for ourselves. Now, the writing is upsetting in a way. I’ve had some hormonal days topped with the upstairs neighbor having strife…I’ve been sucking up the energy, and then getting this spiritual awakening (go ahead and smirk…I had to look all this up myself), now these writings that are coming. I’ve been crying for two days.

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‘Orchestrated Part’

The orchestrated part of the Jews in Yeshuah’s death…the same In me and YOU! The veils! The veils are put on to teach us, in order for us to grow! Trust is so very important!

 Orchestrated Part
  
 it was a very long time ago
 still...its people hold
to Pride and Ego
 passing on lies
 why the Christ†, on the cross, died
 they knew the why
 –at least some on the side
 but following the crowd–
 far greater than the One
up beyond the clouds
  
 a man who'd done miracles
 right in their faces
 they refuse to believe
was of God†
 they saw then denied
 all past scripture
went out windows
 all evidence given to see
 in their books
coming to Life
 ‒it wasn't Ignorance or Strife
 but veils hiding the Light
  
 they were presented the Truth
 still...they remained in fool
 those veils...heavy tools
 when God† has something
for you to do
 no different for the jews, too
 since Yeshuah's† blood
sealing covenant...in new
 for me and you…had to come True
  
 they were given a choice
 free-will's uncanny voice
 pontius...in his armored hide
 what ya want me to do?
 with a mixed emotion in his eye
 after all...he was a tool, too
 for the role he played with the Jew
  
 they had a choice: all they saw–
 this wasn't a game with toys
 this was a Life
put in their hands
 a Life of the Light
 to decide...their very right
 the ultimate test
 to trust and confess
 or to kill...remain in unrest
  
 the veils...so heavy to wear
 testing the hearts everywhere
  
 Pride, Ego...closed eyes
 to kill...Yeshuah† must die
  
 He† had to die anyway
 it was already a paved Way
  
 they weren't wise to that
 –after the third day
 everything became fact
 Ignorance came in
took its crap
 history didn't change–
 everything written
didn't change
 just the veils...God's† will

 ‒they didn't appreciate that
 being used as tools
 instead of accepting their role
 they denied
the Light's gold
 defying God†
a purposeful stroll
 passing on Lies...in deny
  
 some...sincerely
knowing the Truth
 but hiding, coveting
 wearing black gowns
 mourning their loss
 Ego, Pride's heavy cost
  
 they bang their heads
at the wall
 they pray, pray, pray
 in their heart–

 (God's† not going
to do their part)

 in their hearts
they must acknowledge
their part
 accept it, appreciate it
 then praise Yeshuah, the Christ†
the Lord†

(July 12, 2019)—Are you worried about your life? You shouldn’t. But I do know how it feels to NOT know. It’s a scary feeling. What would you do if someone came to you and gave you a message from above? Clearing up matters for you in such a way that it sort of all made sense. Would you listen?

There are so many examples throughout history that give us hope. If only ears were open. The veils. There’s much to say about them. Whenever you are lost in the darkness, the veils are on. Every time you think you were dumb in something that you did, you were in a way…but know, it wasn’t you…it was God…the veils. Each of us have a part in everyone’s life that we cross: We are the body and Yeshuah is the head! God uses us to test each other’s faith, each other’s true heart. Once we learn to accept that (the true meat of the Bible), then we can understand the why behind our trials and accept them.

Continue reading “‘Orchestrated Part’”

‘His Pickup’

Have you answered God’s call? He’s waiting on you!

 His† Pickup
  
 I talk to the air
 pretending someone's there
 –it's only fair
 since no one sees
how I comb my hair
  
 I go for days, weeks
in this brave affair
 feeling angels everywhere
 then I fall to despair
 acknowledging
no one's really there
 wondering
if anyone really cares
  
 I go until I can't
my hand to face in cry–
  
 this isn't fair
  
 too long I've been waiting
for the care
 working, doing
wanting someone truly there
 but...just surrounds me
thin air
  
 I get completely lost
in this temporary despair
 then...comfort arrives
out of thin air
  
 I was pushed back
and about to fall,
 but the Lord helped me.
 the Lord is my strength
and my song;
 He has become
my salvation.
  
 revealing there's someone there
 someone who truly cares
 waiting, fighting there
 waiting to become fully
before the Lord...bare
 dealing in past affairs
 –having courage to dare
  
 shouts of joy and victory
 resound in the tents
of the righteous;
 the Lord's right hand
has done mighty things!
 the Lord's right hand
is lifted high;
 the Lord's right hand
has done mighty things!
  
 victory is every where
 I can feel I in the air
  
 I will not die but live,
 and will proclaim
what the Lord has done.
 the Lord has chastened me severely,
 but He has not given me
over to death.
  
 I know all won't be lost
in despair
 I know there will be saved
so many little hairs
 so I basked in this empty air
 as...taking place
the attended affairs
  
 open for me
the gates of righteousness;
 I will enter
and give thanks to the Lord.
 this is the gate of the Lord
 through which
the righteous may enter.
 I will give You thanks
for You answered me;
 You have become my salvation.
  
 all things will be fair
 as comes...the perfect affair
  
 the stone the builders rejected
 has become the capstone;
 the Lord has done this,
 and it is marvelous in our eyes.
 this is the day the Lord has made;
 let us rejoice and be glad in it.
  
 seeing truth...so there
 I anticipate
with welcoming flair
 I know this heart I wear
 –out of pure despair
 comes a star's brilliant glare
  
 o Lord, save us;
 o Lord, grant us success.
 blessed is he who comes
in the name of the Lord.
 from the house of the Lord
we bless you.
 the Lord is God,
 and He has made His light
shine upon us.
 with boughs in hand
join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar
  
 in bowed head...I do declare
 life is as it should be–
 it's not in the tear
 but in the solid of repair
 that God† reveals
His† humble stare
  
 You are my God
and I will give You thanks;
 You are my God
and I will exalt You.
 give thanks to the Lord
for He is good;
 His love endures forever.—Psalm 118

He’s Waiting On You!

(July 5, 2019)—I haven’t written in a while…been busy with the testimony of my recent events, which has proven not difficult, but more of a soul-searching deal that’s taking me nearing over a month now to work on. It’s okay. I have plenty time. There’s never a rush for things these days. In due time, they do come. But I have been working diligently and long hours. I went to bed at 5 a.m. this morning and woke up at around noon to people asking me if I felt the earthquake. No. I’ve been busy.

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Commentaries: Matthew 13:44-46

[k. e. leger’s Note: This article and all that goes with it from biblehub.com is not originally written in the English language. It was translated and I will correct spelling and punctuation as in keeping with the meaning of their content. In some places, I had to let it be. I hope that you enjoy this piece anyway. This goes with my article title ‘Discovering the Hidden Treasure in Yourself’.]

Ellicott’s Commentary [Introduction]

The kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field.—Probably no parable in the whole series came more home to the imagination of the disciples than this. Every village had its stories of men who had become suddenly rich by finding some hidden hoard that had been hastily concealed in time of war or tumult.

Then, as now, there were men who lived in the expectation of finding such treasures, and every traveler who was seen searching in the ruins of an ancient town was supposed to be hunting after them. As far back as the days of Solomon, such a search had become a parable for the eager pursuit of wisdom (Proverbs 2:4).

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‘You Bitch!’

Simple Ways for You to Defeat Negative Self Talk

A sample from Book 12

 You Bitch!
  
 I've got an itch
 ‒pouring through my mind
a well-dug ditch
 screaming words in myth
to the highest pitch
 forcing me down a darkened pit
 ‒a text-blasting trip
 becoming an accusing witch
 out to smash an invisible zit
  
 every word on my lips
 disguised in angry fits
 passing along this typed niche
 thinking it's hip
making itself rich
 ‒taking advantage of my slip
  
 you evil bitch!
I'm gonna smash you to bits
 I'm so tired of your shit
 in the bud...I'm gonna nip
 not for a moment anymore
 forever...your throat
I'm gonna slit
 
 over the top
I'm gonna flip
 dunk you
down below...permanently dip
  
 no more...you get wit
 over the head‒ 
you...I'm gonna hit
 no more playful glitches
 in God†...get a good whiff
 of wine I'm gonna sip
sit back‒
 finally be done
with your controlling, irrational blip
 up goes my middle finger‒ 
see the tip
 up yours!
you piece of shit!

(October 16, 2018)—Are you mad at me for cussing? Get over yourself. This is a commentary that screams—It’s time for some cussing!

I’m going to give you some good information here if you suffer from depression, anger, negative self-talk to help you start turning things around in your life. Don’t worry. I’m taking this same journey, so let’s ride!

I’m doing two workshops at one time. The one on anger which I wrote a few posts about this past week and a happiness workshop. I’m also reading a second workbook titled Pathways to Recovery, A Strengths Recovery Self-Help Workbook by Priscilla Ridgway, Diane McDiarmid, Lori Davidson, Julie Bayes, and Sarah Ratzlaff.

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‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

I’ve said a lot here on Facebook. I revealed a lot…but there’s a lot I haven’t revealed. So you only get a piece of the puzzle…never the whole picture. Why? Because I do have a life and part of that life is private as for everyone else. There’s a lot of pain I cover up…and, yes, there is still pain. There will always be pain because an entire portion of my life has been wiped out…and not by choice.

I tried calling my daughter. It appears that she’s changed her number. I think that odd because the words I last typed her in text were answers to words she said to me, but I’m held totally accountable. Why? Oh, because I’m 49 years old and should know better. I’m the mom…but that doesn’t come into affect when I’m called by my name instead of Mom. Just saying….

 Knife
  
 it was put in there‒ 
nice and tight
 when I move around
to the left, to the right
 it reveals its price
 ‒how it changed my life
 the strength it took‒ 
robbing my mind
 the way it makes me wanna fight
 even if it isn't right
 even if I said...say...things impolite
 I was...am...gonna fight
 ‒even while speaking of the light
  
 at times, I feel like a poltergeist
 a faded memory...sliced and diced
 forgotten the way I was
 forever entombed in what I've become
 not a homicide
 ‒a genocide of all that was nice
 womanly, motherly...dignified
 downgraded to a parasite
 ‒not fit for normal's life
  
 should I be lost in contrite
 bowed down in pity...outright
 or was I absolutely right
turning childlike
 begging for help‒ 
from Yeshuah, the Christ†
  
 who has the right to decide‒ 
I'm the sacrifice
 in order for them‒ 
to have their paradise
  
 who had the right‒ 
shift truth to lies
 bury this knife
in what used to be‒
 a mother, sister, daughter, wife
  
 in me...it so mystifies
 how everyone becomes tongue-tied
 when abuse is in transcribe
 ‒the victim screams in alive
 how extreme...me...it mortifies
 that, no matter which way‒ 
death...comes in die
 twist, twist, twist the knife
 gone daughter, sister, mother, wife
  
 rebuilding exemplified
the alibis become jives
 words in wisdom...just implied
 while words...wombs...rob the mind
 memories of building the first life‒
 took one times forty-five
  
 pull, pull, pull out the knife
time in modify
 is there another forty-five
 my, my, my how it mystifies
 what comes of‒ 
pulling out the knife
Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘Aversion’

Forgive Yourself for God Has Already Done That!

(April 8, 2019)—The commentary for my piece titled ‘Salvation’s Need’ I speak about salvation and God taking grace away if we go against Him. A friend called and told me that God does not take away grace. I beg you differ.

Ever since the incident with the Jeep, I have been reverted back to feeling like crap. I can’t seem to return to the good diet that was making me feel great, nor the tanning, nor the exercising. I’m told to get an attorney and sue these people, but, at the same time, that’s not what I’m supposed to do. Faith. I’m supposed to rely on faith. I’ve been battling with all of this lately.

I finished my vow. I’m supposed to wait now. And my relationship with the sweet man…what relationship? All my values, morals, principles are in question right now…every single thing I stand for! The voice of death has crossed my threshold several times in these last couple of months because I’m so tired of fighting, so tired of people lying to me. I’ve been in a battle per say.

I have been working late on my website and getting up late each day. I had gotten myself on a schedule, but that has been thrown out the window. I suddenly have that rush again…like I’m up against a clock. So, this morning after reading a few things on Facebook, I got my coffee and sat down. My Bible and writing tablet staring at me. The pull to cry came from way deep inside. And the tears started to fall. I started to feel sorry for myself. I see my sisters posting about their lives. My little sister and her family. I asked myself, ‘Where’s my joy? Where’s my family?’

 Aversion
  
 You† stripped me of life
 sent me into strife
 in order for me
to truly see the light
  
 I knelt...prayed for truth
 stripped of wisdom‒ 
made into a fool
 only to rise then fall in glue
 stuck in deceived...malice
 drowning in the body's surface
 lust took hold...every crevice
  
 my mind stuck in evil's drool
 lying, stealing...seeking revenge‒
 all evil's time in consume
 I surrounded myself‒ 
in the duel
 bathing in its fumes
 yelling, pulling, yanking
 trying to see truth
 ‒in all I assumed
  
 all its evilness‒ 
pulling me from the light
 pushing me‒ 
to take my very life
 over and over‒ 
keeping me in strife
 leaving...I think not!
laughing at my struggle‒ 
in fight
 holding me down from flight
 suffocating‒ 
blinding my sight
  
 I prayed to see truth
 now I see evil's embedded rules
 the play‒ 
leaving countless clues
 lust being its endless tool
 using love‒ 
in its game of fools
  
 Lord†, I see the aversion‒
 I see the message in truth
 in my mind‒ 
the careless insertion
 ‒troubled heart
sunk in its inclusion
  
 I know why they sink‒
 into drugs...sexual immorality
 they were too young
when it all begun
 to fight evil's manipulating reality
 get to the children first
  ‒You† showed me this
before any verse
 revealing truth‒ 
way before my coming doom
  
 then my 360...then the loop
 three adults in evil's coop
 the wreckage‒ 
I didn't know what to do
 for I was encaged, too
  
 get to the children first
  
 innocence‒ 
pulled from the light
 no strength
to put up a fight
 ‒growing up
with an inside strife
 splitting the mind
 evil...preventing
the thinking of twice
  
 Lord†, thank you
for the truth
 please clear my mind‒ 
fill me with You†
 evil strangles
all that's true
 I'd rather be filled with You†
 than lust's
    careless drool
Continue reading “‘Aversion’”