‘Salvation’s Need’

To Deny Others Is To Deny God!

 Salvation's Need
 
test after test
I have failed
my 360
to the cross...nailed
You† brought people to me
in their time of weak
‒salvation
I failed to help them seek
 
instead, I buried them deep
words from my mouth
did seep
actions
I didn't allow to creep
in self
I curled up in weep
 
my time has come and sailed
out of all of it
I tend to bail
turning my back
not wanting to see
how another's picture
on them...creeps
I just give up and flee
 
whatever awakens
this ignorance of me
strip it
take it from me
strengthen me
help me to see
keep me from feeling sorry
lost in self pity
 
Lord†, this part of me
that lived unselfishly
I lost
please return it to me
without this lumpy throat
from way down deep
without fears and anxiety
help me open my mouth
speak
in words of calm
humility, peace
without selfish
insecurities
Continue reading “‘Salvation’s Need’”

‘Use It To Be It’

What ‘Not’ To Do When It Comes To Your Past!

A sample from Book 8

 Use It To Be It
 
it happened‒
look back there
once, twice, thrice
‒don’t stay there
 
turn that wayward stare
towards something rare
 
turn that experience
into deliverance
 
he may have gotten you
clouded your view‒
that hidden abuse
that traditional muse
 
demanding traits of you
change your clothes
‒that too
so subtle, so quiet
 
you went along
after all‒
you had a home
someone
to call your own
 
time ticks
‘til matters click
change comes quick
 
only for you‒
 
he’s his own game
inside...the same
hiding from you
‘til open...wide
clear becomes the view
 
you fell hard
that knife
beyond sharp
 
but here you are
wearing
a survivor’s star
wondering‒
lies where
your somewhere
 
from back there
turn that clouded stare
‒things begin to clear  

don’t put that past
totally in the rear
 
take it‒
use it with class
bettering you
pave an avenue
 
‒there’s no excuse
only you
had the view
 
share it‒
help others
overcome it, too
 
that place
out there
elevates
what he tried to kill
 
now
you’re headed somewhere
while
he’s stuck back there
 
there’s nothing to it‒
it’s just fair
 
his childish control
becomes
your gold
Continue reading “‘Use It To Be It’”

‘A Letter to Pandora’

Say It: ‘I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar!’

A sample from Book 6

 A Letter to Pandora
 
my dearest pandora:
you evil whore
stop opening false doors
I'm tired
of your illusive detours
‒your negative gore
 
I'll admit
I fell for the allure
the I love yous
the you're beautifuls
 
I'll admit
in my glass
I let others pour
 
I gave up control
let others take it
then gave them more
 
their promising lure
came slow, gradual
 
I believed in I'm yours
I believed in giving
‒times four
 
I swallowed hard
walked, paced floors
 
I cried and cried
hid my raging sword
as more and more
me...they ignored
‒never questioning
what for
 
all this rage built
I learned to hoard
keeping the peace
I constantly explored
praying you'd close
these selfish-hearted doors
 
but I see
how easily
you get bored
needing to keep
good hearts torn
‒racking up scores
on your evil board
 
enough!
I'm tired of being scorned
you're just
an evil whore
 
my rage is building wings
‒jamming closed
your controlling doors
 
hear me roar!
I'm not a board
to be walked on
or drilled
with material nails
‒your false lure
 
I'm a woman
an unyielding commodore
high‒
I will soar
above all
your negative gore
 
look up
you wretched whore
I am woman
hear me roar!
Continue reading “‘A Letter to Pandora’”

‘Codependent’

The Codependent: Make Yourself Happy First!

A sample from Book 6

 Codependent
 
I've tried to help
in ways
that didn't help
 
I've said yes
then no
to my self
 
I've avoided
hurting others
only to hurt myself
 
to trust my own feelings
I've been afraid
 
I've believed lies
then betrayed-
I often felt
 
I wanted to get even
punish others
for putting me
on a shelf
 
I often
became smothered
in anger and hate
-wanting to kill
not feeling safe
 
I've fought
for others' rights
when they didn't know
how the law swayed
only to be left
alone
like an abandoned stray
 
I've often settled
for others' worth
-left my own
to grow another day
 
I became
the reaction
to others' anger and hate
instead of listening to self
walking my own way
 
I became
less of me
for others
to be set free
 
I've lost myself
to dependency
on how others felt
without seeing
my own need
to be free
to be just me
Continue reading “‘Codependent’”

‘Stepping into the Fear’

Forget the Fear. Concentrate On What You Want!

A sample from Book 6

 Stepping into the Fear
 
what you are is what you think
―an old worn out thing
but living half your life
you come to see
how truly right
these words ring
 
any day-dreaming thought
even silently in the dark
―closed secret of the heart
given enough time
begins to shape its part
 
if the pictures seep in your head
while laying in bed
something you dread
or just want to unwed
―be careful
your repeated secret byline
given enough time
will come to you
will come true
 
it takes years
to make the picture clear
bits and pieces―
many scenarios pass through
your reality won't mock it
your actions won't show it
but in the universe
you did throw it
―over and over
believing it just fantasy
only your mind can see
nothing close to your reality
what does it hurt
losing yourself to its scenes
 
just a day-dreaming thought
something imagined in the dark
―silently in your heart
where no one has to be fought
something you think
not really sought
given enough time
begins to shape its part
 
with enough passing days
with enough nights to fade
the fantasy slowly builds
secret thoughts turn real

the universe enjoys enough time
fantasy to reality begins to align
instead of in your head
―hidden secrets fed
soon to become
a life led
 
deep inside
you try to deny
your eyes continuously cry
this can't be right
you start a war
―feverously fight
an outward dreaded fear
―at first unclear
the day-dreaming thoughts stop
as hands move on a clock
tic-toc, tic-toc
all your eye-seeing reality
becomes your secret fantasy
not exactly the way you saw
―the same is the result
 
wiping away the tears
now, it's all perfectly clear
what you wanted the most
―the secret you didn't boast
was the one thing
you truly feared
the fantasy
that only the universe
could hear
 
so it changed your course
―it may feel forced
you yell, scream, cry
over and over asking why
repeat, repeat, repeat
'til you're hoarse
 
 it leaves you no choice
but to step into your fear
―see your secret thoughts
as the true reality
of your heart  
Continue reading “‘Stepping into the Fear’”

‘Twenty-Year Itch’

Trust Me: It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 Twenty-Year Itch
 
there's a glitch
in this marriage-is-forever niche
no one says it
when selling their pitch
they just say―
marriage is a gift
no more ifs
no more endless cliffs
but it's all a myth
for there's a ditch
from which
comes the switch
where love drifts
lies are rich
truths are a bitch
change is swift
 
heed this warnings' monolith
the twenty-year itch
comes from this sudden twitch
egotistical snitch
a labyrinth
a deceptive clinch
leaving you adrift
lost to miff
without even one
understanding flinch
Continue reading “‘Twenty-Year Itch’”

‘The Hanging’

When You’re Caught In Silent Abuse

A sample from Book 1

 The Hanging
 
the heart thumps
a thunderous bolt
tightens and roars—
wrapping, squeezing
like a sailor’s rope
 
hunger escapes
while sleeplessness eludes
jolted and battered—
feeling the vapor
of a flowerless fool
 
shaking
with rupturing chills
cold and hot—
not quite understanding
this weathering thrill
 
voice over voice
cloud the mind
yes or no—
eyes turn cold
moisten
then go blind
 
searching for light
yearning to yell
craving an escape—
this pending doom
to a bottomless hell
 
beneath there’s bound
to be salvation
somewhere to run—
‘til then
there’s only damnation
Continue reading “‘The Hanging’”

‘Silence of Me’

You Tend To Hang On. It’s Normal.

A sample from Book 5

 Silence of Me
 
I look at me
I hear me
wishing
I wouldn't be
hurting
I ruffled the sea
this romantic bee
twisting
words I see
wanting
to be free
saying
it's better for me
misrepresenting
what
I want to be
just you
I do see
putting
all thoughts
free
relating
what's
inside of me
hoping
you'd see
confusion's deed
all that I aim to be
all that I use to be
my wanting
to be free
inside of me
there's more to see
the outside sea
wanting
you along side of me
open and free
awakening
what used to be
 
look at me
hear me
all there is to be
 
a wall closed to me
burying me
deep
inside of me
silence of me
wishing
I wouldn't be
 
Continue reading “‘Silence of Me’”

‘Text Me’

Moving Through Anger with Bargaining!

A sample from Book 5

 Text Me
 
in this phone
I am a clone
away from home
easily...I roam
no longer alone
 
words I've thrown
cast a bone
string along
however long
I want you to belong
 
in this phone
I'm on loan
read my worded song
I'm wearing a thong
―hear me moan
I'll send a picture―
for your visual tone
 
with words I'm strong
―played like a trombone
I can turn you on
in my world
you'll be drawn
 
in this phone
nothing's wrong
it's my zone
imaginations grown
 
be careful―
if to me you're drawn
I'll take you
where you've not yet gone
for in this phone
I own
my imaginary throne
I'll make you moan
dance to my song―
your emotions
get too strong
I'll exit
and be gone
Continue reading “‘Text Me’”

‘Hold My Hand’

Men: Just Do It!

A sample from Book 5

 Hold My Hand
 
when I'm lost
― confused
wanting to give up
will you hold my hand
 
when I doubt
want a way out
will you stick around
 
when I'm angry
―scream
call you names
will you not place blame
 
when I cry
lost in sadness
will you change my mind
to live and not die
 
when I hate
my vision clouded
will you be my guide
tell me my life
is not a lie
 
when I want to run
leave all behind
draw a heavy line
will you walk beside me
―hold my hand
take my feet
from the sand
plant them
on solid ground
 
when I'm alone
lost in darkness
make you want to leave
will you forgive
help my eyes to see
everything
I want to be
 
when I'm here
cold...closed up inside
will you stay
give me space
help me see my way
 
when I want
to give up
will you stand by me
take my hand
help me be free
help me to see
what it takes
to be happy
Continue reading “‘Hold My Hand’”