Tag: self

‘The Depths of Me’

Whatever You Do: Don’t Quit!

A sample from Book 5

 The Depths of Me

it's been many years
since God† put me here
 from very young
my ears open to hear
 from the depths within
a push
a shove
a demand
 His† gentle, silent command
 I always knew
like so very few
 it's not me
but what I do
 that is my truth
I always knew
 until I finish
this is my sentence
  
 write, write, write
My† child
 through every second
through every mile
 you can only stop for a while
but then smile
write, write, write
My† child
 until you reach the clouds
  
 my heart's been broken
it's just a token
 He† wants me to feel
all that's real
 my pride's been crushed
 but to Him†
there's no rush
I have to plow on
 even if all that I love
selfishly moves on
  
 write, write, write
My† child
 through every second
through every mile
 you can only stop for a while
but then smile
write, write, write
My† child
 until you reach the clouds
  
 He† wants me to see
life's darkest reality
 here He† planted His† seed
so I must feed
 amazingly enough
no matter how tough
 or how many tears I cry
it's still this pen and I
 with a continued faith
in all He† has to say
  
 write, write, write
My† child
 through every second
through every mile
 you can only stop for a while
but then smile
 write, write, write
My† child
 until you reach the clouds
  
 why have you forsaken me
He† cried from the cross
 when I feel alone and lost
 He† shows me
His† love runs deep
 for, I too, cry out
scream anger and shout
  
 write, write, write
My† child
 through every second
through every mile
 you can only stop for a while
but then smile
 write, write, write
My† child
 until you reach the clouds
  
 for others
I wish no hurt
 even when
they drag me in the dirt
 here...there's no whip
nor blood to squirt
 just silence and evil words
 leaving me out in the cold
with no arms to hold
 each moment I'm weak
 wanting to cry and cry
 -just fall asleep
 He† makes me see
this is not about me
  
 write, write, write
My† child
 through every second
through every mile
 you can only stop for a while
but then smile
 write, write, write
My† child
 until you reach the clouds
  
 He's† given me a gift
I can't ignore it
 -it's not a selfish whim
I'm being true to Him†
 I've been shown
I've always known
many will criticize
many will ignore
that I'm alive
 even those who love me
 will cease to be
will leave me
will deceive me
 as the devil fights
tries to drown His† light
 I must not bend
for the Lord† moves within
 I must write 'til the end
  
 write, write, write
My† child
 through every second
through every mile
 you can only stop for a while
but then smile
 write, write, write
My† child
 until you reach the clouds
Continue reading “‘The Depths of Me’”

‘Kicking through Doors’

Is Someone’s Crime Taking Away What You Stand For?

A sample from Book 10

 Kicking through Doors
  
 fighting through nights
 hated words
blank looks
 cold tones-
it's a right
 like a sworn-in knight
 say it-
see what's in sight
  
 bleeding words of hosea
 a foreign arena
 -a returned agenda
 replayed cinema
 -one certain agenda:
  
 incorporation of rejection
 ignoring revelations
 already experienced
by nations
  
 historical indications‒
 God's† bold proclamations
 man's once-again revoltation
  
 keeping in the light
 ‒a constant fight
 suffering through blight
 experiencing God's† might
  
 turning it around
 ‒say something sound
 as in past stories found
 leaves truth-
the drowning clown
  
 like centuries before
 keep kicking through doors
 His† powers...the core
 that's what truth's for
 –leaving hatred
that embedded lore
 in the constance
of sore
Continue reading “‘Kicking through Doors’”

The Day of the Woman

How Narcissist Play Their Game

A sample from Book 9

(Written in 2016)—It’s the day of the Woman! This quote says it all right there. I write about abuse and the five stages of grief (the process of surviving through them by-way of my personal journey) and it’s ALL public. [It is in my books.] It would make sense that I’m a child of God. A stubborn one. My mama always said so, too. My daughter swears this, too. So, I am sweet. But being a survivor that I am, I’m also a raging warrior when I need to be. That’s what makes a strong woman strong.

I’ve stated that my writing was going to squash all them narcissist abusers out there. I wasn’t kidding. They can see their ways or not. Of course, none of them will because they believe they are perfect, they refuse to see how they treat people as wrong.

Continue reading “The Day of the Woman”

Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?

(March 17, 2019)―Reading. That’s what I’ve been doing. One author who caught my attention over a year ago through her videos and website is Shahida Arabi who has become an expert on the subject of narcissists and their many manipulative, abusive ways. I will write a lot more about her findings, including my personal experiences, when my website is up and running. For now, there are two important points that Arabi makes in her article titled ‘5 Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Manipulate You’ from her book titled Power.

The 5 powerful ways are of course:

Continue reading “Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!

A sample from Book 9

Oh! Are you in for a treat! I began talking about codependency in Book 6. I didn’t see the horror in it until 2015…that need to make others happy began to affect me in the worse way. The following is part of the Introduction to Book 9 in My 12-Book series.

To heal…to completely heal from abuse, you have to deal with the codependent in you. It won’t be easy. From this book all the way to Book 12, I fought it. You can do it, too. Trust in the journey and get my books…I do have a different answer than most do.

Continue reading “Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!”

Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!

A sample from Book 8

It’s a process. Sometimes a long one depending if abuse was in the mix. The follow is part of the Introduction to my 8th book in My 12-Book Series. It’s just the beginning of the acceptance stage. Depression still follows. Anger still follows you. You have a journey, but you can do it.

My journey took a twist by adding another relationship to the mix. This book is only the beginning to that. Oh! You just gotta love those who just think they don’t do any wrong. Life’s quite a ride!

“…This book is an exploration of self: Overcoming the anger, the hurt, seeing the damage and healing, understanding how God brings us to something in order to help us and not hinder us, to understand that God’s timing is not our own…and it doesn’t matter how we want to rush it, He’ll stop us in our tracks, slow us down in order for time to heal…[time to] work its magic.

Continue reading “Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!”

This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like

A sample from Book 7

All different shades! No one handles betrayal the same…or do we? We rage. We scream. We yell and cry. What happens after that? Depression. How you handle it is up to you. Many times…we don’t have a choice how that plays out. The following is from the Introduction of my 7th Book in My 12-Book Series.

“There are things you have to do to take care of yourself during this stage. You have to get out of it. I know showing you how I got through the initial shock of it, will help you make through alive!

Continue reading “This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like”

This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!

A sample from Book 6

You freaking bargain your way out of it! With a vengeance. Everyone will bargain differently. The following is from the Introduction of my 6th Book in My 12-Book Series. The Bargaining stage! In this book I will show you what the bargaining stage looks like. The fight is real! And you are not just up against your anger, but up against everything else around you!

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Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!

A sample from Book 5

Yes, it does. That’s why I felt compelled to write this book. Anger does some awful things to us. When you are going through something you really don’t understand and you don’t have the resources to help you, anger builds.

There was nothing for me to grab hold of. For you, you now have this book to help you understand how anger controls you and how to get a grip. The following is from the Introduction to my 5th Book in My 12-Book series. I hope that this book can keep you from making the mistakes I made.

Continue reading “Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!”