‘Troubled Soul’

Other people’s issues are not yours!

A sample from Book 9

  Troubled Soul
 
your mixed personality
doesn't blend with reality
 
your verbal kindness
doesn't add to
your stalking rudeness
 
returning to reality
‒stripping all vulnerability
takes...taking responsibility‒
actions of self
before experiencing life...truly
 
changing personalities
doesn't insure securities
needed‒
to strengthen possibilities
 
living in denial
mile after mile‒
brings the mind
to crash
heading south‒
once there
‒getting there
you can only ask...how
 
take a look inside
your round and round ride
‒a mind in hide
never subsides
'til you stop for a while
sink in like a child‒
all your wounds...untie
 
open that book
given by God†
look deep...deep into your I
write down your whys
all that pain
bringing you to hide‒
all those cries
 
all those ancient words‒
so many have heard
let them be your guide
it takes time
 
people won't untie‒
all those knots inside
‒admittance...of self
the help of only God†‒
your only needed drive
way...way deep inside
‒then He'll† show you
how to fly
without you‒
having to ask why
Continue reading “‘Troubled Soul’”

‘Traces in Forgive’

The Lie: Destroys. Steals. Kills. You decide!

A sample from Book 9

 Traces in Forgive
 
she felt its trace
sweet word's lace
soft-spoken based
deep inside-
yes...she felt its trace
 
sneaking up inside
like a burning desire

give it
let it live

as her sixth sense
stood the fence
 
no, no, no
it's all a show
 
face after face
encountering
same's constant date
lies, deception, betray
nothing real
stands behind
words in say
 
she bows her head
thinking of words said
 
why this careless play
why not just go away
 
then tears cry
not for self
as in her bed
she lies
–but for souls
behind her tries
–their coming day
served on a self-made
imagined silver-lined tray
 
karma
its coming arena
choices in free-will
consequences-
already sealed
 
in her bowed stance
she dances her dance
–for them
solemn in pray
nothing more to say
for truth
all they had to do–
say it
-her total
 
I forgive you
 
washing it
all away
 
now...just in self
to give
forgive
without them ever knowing
–her never willing
in showing
her forever hiding
her deepness
in always loving
as they live
in the continue of dying
 
as she moves
forward in free
 
even if she meets
the Lord first
 
in her bowed stance
knowing truth
they'll still be in fool
drooling in thirst
seeking free
without ever
having the joy of it
in see
 
Continue reading “‘Traces in Forgive’”

‘Spaces of Real’

That place where you are no longer hurting!

A sample from Book 7

 Spaces of Real
 
where do you fit in
when you're searching
for truth
–all seems a flute
 
when you're pushing–
revealing all you do
just to get through
 
when you talk to God†
–each day
just getting by
wondering
how
this day
you survived
 
knowing
because of someone else
tears you try
not to cry
 
over anger
you become
a hardened manager
wondering
what it is
that's
lost inside of you
 
yes, where do you fit in
–this society of fake
lost in its self-absorbed wake
 
when men are weak
constantly
searching
something always better
they seek
 
hanging you out to dry
without reasons of why
 
leaving you
constantly
searching
for spaces of real
where there's no reason
to conceal
what's truly hiding
deep inside
Continue reading “‘Spaces of Real’”

‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
 
I'm an apparent suicide
who took
everything buried inside
‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
 
they call it a homicide
raging words
was all it took
for love to dry
‒leaving only tears
to cry
 
slowly I died
asking every kind of why
 
why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
 
why my truth
was reason
my life
‒its very existence
to hide
 
my being
no longer resides
in hearts
I believed
could override
evil's prancing stride
 
they all cast me aside
for thoughts...words
I could no longer
hold inside
 
instead of holding me
as these eyes cried
they buried me
‒an unmarked grave
deep outside
with bugs and flies
Continue reading “‘Pillars of Death’”

‘Veiling of Truth’

Speak Your Truth or Live in Captivity!

A sample from Book 7

 Veiling of Truth
 
we start off life
slow–
like a snail
 
taking each moment
as it comes
giving ourselves
time to breathe
 
inhale
exhale
 
we're young...vibrant
over anything
we're champions
we have mentors
–someone always there
 
pushing us
tormenting us
encouraging us
criticizing us
 
it doesn't matter–
we feel invincible
–strength
in our youthful hearts
gives us one desire
over anything
we can prevail
 
so we take chances
we jump fences
crawl through tunnels
see life
as a simple funnel
 
when we're derailed
we take a moment–
wail
giving ourselves
time to breathe
 
inhale
exhale
 
we get back on the rail
sail
 
then life tips the scale
–half-way point
where all just stops
we're pushed over the top
 
we try to sail
to no avail
we start to see
–the slow coveting veil
the part of us
for others we curtailed
 
bit by bit–
small pieces of our being
we willingly retailed
leaving us
feeling alone and stale
 
it's at that moment
no longer wanting
to feel frail
wanting instead
again to breathe
 
inhale
exhale
 
taking from our legs
our tucked-in tail
revealing...opening
this perfectly placed veil
 
it's at that moment
we explode
our outpouring gale
see me, hear me
I'm not for sale
 
opening our truth
putting ourselves
in plain view
screaming out loud
this is what I'm about
 
it's at that moment
when life tips its scale
all is unveiled
we see every detail
 
who impaled
who drove the nail
 
ourselves
 
we chose to lower the veil
we signed our own
bill of sale
 
it's at that moment
–tipping the scale
our truth
to unveil
get back on the rail
over our own injustice
prevail
Continue reading “‘Veiling of Truth’”

”Secret’ No More!’

Their Play Is All the Same!

A sample from Book 9

 'Secret' No More!
 
the cat's out the bag
 
on the surface‒
I no longer scratch
‒don't want to sound
like a hag
not even a nag
but I'm done
playing this little game
of tag
 
I no longer want
the jab‒
that sneaky, sly syntax
keeping me in a corner
my existence entrapped
secrets over nightcaps
 
for so long
at it
I merely laughed
playing along‒
this hidden
out-of-sight craft
 
for so long
I fell into its path
to feel barely half
of a lover's swag
 
not any more
do these eyes sag
I now see
the repeated red flags
 
here they are‒
if you want to keep track
here they are‒
if your eyes
are stuck in lack:
 
away from public view‒
begins
the slow, gentle snatch
 
text this, text that

a hi here
a hey there
even the wyd flair
 
then the ignore
playing-with-the-mind anthrax's
added-on little snap
 
maybe a phone call or two‒
avoiding a bit of snag
 
(the now understood common trap)
 
oh! how texting does that
 
‒just a tiny dab
the get-what-they-want hatch
 
turning texting to sexting
in a flash
 
then sit back...relax
as she falls in the trap
her mind...now attacked
with a little zap‒
man-ego-driven
mind-boggling witchcraft
sealed and wrapped‒
one-sided—playing-out wrath
 
sexting‒
the perfect-controlling telegraph
 
then comes
the moving-on slow raft
to get that big splash
‒adding to their stash
images behind
a monitored glass
 
a little skin
in flash
with some sexy sass
 
the building in pizzazz
wanting more
of that flabbergast
 
building, building
téte-a-téte
 
then veiled in a masque‒
when questions invade
the on-and-off going chitchat‒
 
a quickened spat
back to the ignoring splat‒
ego...alive and well
in combat
 
'til comes that final blast
flesh to unmask
an act in diplomat
making her feel all that‒
the sexy little kitty cat
 
‒the play in chat
becomes
an in-the-flesh transact
 
good or bad‒
putting her in abstract
continued words on a pad‒
her mind to distract
rather hijacked
from their away-from-her
reality fact‒
 
she's not the only lass‒
their on-going sexting hack
blatant ways in acrobat‒
that and this
this and that
 
'til her avoided questions
forces a react‒
 
why not spend time with me
why the constant disappearing act

 
she innocently asks
wanting beyond
the sexual wrap‒
wanting out of secret's
hidden tap
 
the continued avoiding lap
puts her mind
in wondering's rasp
 
all-stop...hold
goes the lit glass‒
with no returned téte-a-téte
or to-the-door dash
or a together attach
nor explanations to patch
or synchronizing photographs
not even a social-media match
 
her mind opens up‒
I've seen all that
recognizing perfectly
the plotted graph
 
experience, experience
the exact-patterned zigzag
she's once again caught
knowings in fact‒
 
their intentions
won't go
any further than that
 
for her unanswered questions
suspicions‒
her experiences in reasoning
reality's opened-up rap‒
 
she's just one of many cats
in their secret's rattrap
 
‒with all these red flags
no need for a polygraph
I don't even need an ax
or a wiretap
not even some mindless booby-trap
 
just a sentence or two‒
seeing through the claptrap
then sit back
watch the unwrap‒
 
innocence offers a laugh
 
let's fix this hash
to you...I want to holdfast
let's have a blast
out in the open

'let's make our splash
 
guilt opens up the wrath
 
a shutting-down fast
placing-blame lash
social-media delete
the final smash‒
the secret
given the shaft
 
no longer do I fly half-mast
no longer am I the secret
in stash
 
yes, the red flags
seen in perfect format
 
I'm no spoiled brat
not even
lost in over-react
 
this kitty cat
just knows where it's at
 
I'm more than just a paragraph‒
a secret in scraps
 
I'm all or nothing
an out-in-the-open en masse
willing to adapt
with another walking
the same path
Continue reading “”Secret’ No More!’”

When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!

This one sergeant in my Army days in Germany called me Marie Laveau…lol…another one bites the dust! One of them will be strong enough to handle my energy some day. If they can let go of their pride long enough. I’ve had enough of man-ego-pride to last a life time.

Continue reading “When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!”

‘Twenty-Year Itch’

Trust Me: It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 Twenty-Year Itch
 
there's a glitch
in this marriage-is-forever niche
no one says it
when selling their pitch
they just say―
marriage is a gift
no more ifs
no more endless cliffs
but it's all a myth
for there's a ditch
from which
comes the switch
where love drifts
lies are rich
truths are a bitch
change is swift
 
heed this warnings' monolith
the twenty-year itch
comes from this sudden twitch
egotistical snitch
a labyrinth
a deceptive clinch
leaving you adrift
lost to miff
without even one
understanding flinch
Continue reading “‘Twenty-Year Itch’”

‘The Hanging’

When You’re Caught In Silent Abuse

A sample from Book 1

 The Hanging
 
the heart thumps
a thunderous bolt
tightens and roars—
wrapping, squeezing
like a sailor’s rope
 
hunger escapes
while sleeplessness eludes
jolted and battered—
feeling the vapor
of a flowerless fool
 
shaking
with rupturing chills
cold and hot—
not quite understanding
this weathering thrill
 
voice over voice
cloud the mind
yes or no—
eyes turn cold
moisten
then go blind
 
searching for light
yearning to yell
craving an escape—
this pending doom
to a bottomless hell
 
beneath there’s bound
to be salvation
somewhere to run—
‘til then
there’s only damnation
Continue reading “‘The Hanging’”

‘Silence of Me’

You Tend To Hang On. It’s Normal.

A sample from Book 5

 Silence of Me
 
I look at me
I hear me
wishing
I wouldn't be
hurting
I ruffled the sea
this romantic bee
twisting
words I see
wanting
to be free
saying
it's better for me
misrepresenting
what
I want to be
just you
I do see
putting
all thoughts
free
relating
what's
inside of me
hoping
you'd see
confusion's deed
all that I aim to be
all that I use to be
my wanting
to be free
inside of me
there's more to see
the outside sea
wanting
you along side of me
open and free
awakening
what used to be
 
look at me
hear me
all there is to be
 
a wall closed to me
burying me
deep
inside of me
silence of me
wishing
I wouldn't be
 
Continue reading “‘Silence of Me’”