‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the RighteousKeep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

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‘Unconditional Terms’

‘Unconditional’ Fades When Another Takes Your Place!

A sample from Book 12

(July 25, 2018 [Didn’t post on Facebook.])—When toxicity takes its toll, there’s nothing to say or do.

A weak heart turns to go, finds a new heart to rip apart. A strong heart cries alone, struggling to regain ground, move on. You don’t lose to cheating. You lose to betrayal. That’s why those who don’t marry, stay single. They can just hang it up, move on to another. The faithful one can’t do this.

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‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

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‘Aversion’

Forgive Yourself for God Has Already Done That!

(April 8, 2019)—The commentary for my piece titled ‘Salvation’s Need’ I speak about salvation and God taking grace away if we go against Him. A friend called and told me that God does not take away grace. I beg you differ.

Ever since the incident with the Jeep, I have been reverted back to feeling like crap. I can’t seem to return to the good diet that was making me feel great, nor the tanning, nor the exercising. I’m told to get an attorney and sue these people, but, at the same time, that’s not what I’m supposed to do. Faith. I’m supposed to rely on faith. I’ve been battling with all of this lately.

I finished my vow. I’m supposed to wait now. And my relationship with the sweet man…what relationship? All my values, morals, principles are in question right now…every single thing I stand for! The voice of death has crossed my threshold several times in these last couple of months because I’m so tired of fighting, so tired of people lying to me. I’ve been in a battle per say.

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‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want thin
then they want fat
first they want blond
then they want black
first they want
a down-with-it bitch
then they want
a church-going chick
first they want
the naught of it
then they want just sit
first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
intelligent and shit
then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want
drama-free tits
then they add the fits
first they want
the sex-driven licks
then they forget how to kiss
first they want real's click
then goes backwards the flips
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒setting confusion's tick
 
it's all the bitch of it
flip, flip, flip
when you're trying
to get a grip
the crap of it...clip
 
old bitches come in to sip
trying to slyly unzip
when down falls
their run-away crib
 
new bitches force in a rip
sending those pussy pics
flirting to get a hit
trying to fill
voids in the flip
 
for a secured woman's commit‒
it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
she doesn't have time to rip
‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

‘Do Your Thing’

When they’re paving the way for another ‘thing’!

A sample from Book 12

  'Do Your Thing'
 
standing still, so rigid
memories return, so rapid  
do your thing
words that seem splendid
once before, becoming frigid
leaving me in stupid
 
words that shouldn't‒
but still stick
like a repeated lick
too afraid to admit‒
concentrating on self's wick
leaves doors open for the slick
 
that's just not it
it's that aged-old skit
played out...without a script
 
distance begins the slit
less hugging, more anger
words constantly in twist
‒making the mind constantly flip
 
there should not be panic
when felt before
this tactic
 
flip, flip, flip
skippy, skip, skip
 
the past's certain mimic
leaves only you in chaotic
breaking your spirit
turning to God for guidance
 
less comes the kisses
every ounce of erotic
disappears in a lick
‒the body is just an it
you become invalid!
time with you, the omit
things get drastic
leaving pure conflict
and you are the reason for it
 
how to be so quiet
when affection‒
you can't even solicit
pushed away...again and again
leaving you frigid
a body drowning
in an unhealthy orbit
 
taking you're the reason
for it
you're not pretty enough
you're too fat, too sad
when...in truth's logic
their argument, distance‒
all part of the already written
transcript
‒no need
to repeat it!
Continue reading “‘Do Your Thing’”

‘Ex-foliate My Soul’

You have to leave others out of ‘self’!

A sample from Book 12

 Ex‒foliate My Soul
 
I still hear the winds blow
I know, still, from and to
the direction it goes
I depend, too much
on human souls
‒directing my emotional role
 
these feet‒
so stuck in muddy ground
I've lost the feelings
of being found
trying to understand
hear...every sound
I've stumbled away
from which I'm bound
 
raise me up, oh Lord†
unclog‒
these maggot-filled holes
rub your sands deeply in‒
pull me out
as you wash away clean
the filth
of this infested bowl
help me again‒
feel fit and lean
where I once had strength
of a lion
‒the sanctuary
of a crystal clear stream
 
enlighten my heart, sweet Jesus†
relight this drive
I so carelessly left behind
enrich my soul
wash away the corrode
so me, in ease, I can stand
on my own two feet
understand words in my heart
having strength to sort
‒without falling apart
 
yes, Lord†, raise my tempo back up
so I can feel, once more
the unstoppable me
‒that pure individual feeling
of being free
without the need
of another's glee
 
I open me up‒
mind, body, soul
I'm, again, letting go
so...whichever the winds blow
matter is not needed
for I'll be free again‒
in the total of
letting go
Continue reading “‘Ex-foliate My Soul’”

‘Frustrated Notions’

Don’t let anyone halt your dreams!

A sample from Book 11

 Frustrated Notions
 
the planes fly
just as they did when I died
‒came back alive
 
music still plays
on the radio
in the same way
as back in the day
when every piece of life
seemed to just go away
 
the sun shines
even in a different state
everything's find
except one‒
a meaning in define
the way...crossing that line
‒the other side
of the rhythm and rhyme
 
plagued in this frustrated notion
a little self-induced commotion
focus on you indication
‒away from all the ramifications
that sunk me in damnation
 
knowing from which it all comes
‒sometimes, stuck in dumb
waiting around‒
dropped bread crumbs
to build an inside beating strum
from some kind of outward drum
that never seems to come
 
this fucked up halt
‒encaged self-provided vault
has it all locked
a walled-up block
as time keeps ticking
on the clock
 
fight, fight, fight
 
it's all there in sight
just one more night
‒do what's right
minus the blight
 
winds still blow
waters still flow
as imagined thoughts flaunt
its desire to haunt
just playing its taunt
 
fight, fight, fight
 
climb that final mountain top
‒don't stop
as planes fly
as the sun shines
as winds blow
as waters flow
‒it's all God's† big show
to the other side
it's time for the ride
feel the second half of life
without any
frustrating tides
Continue reading “‘Frustrated Notions’”

‘Depths of Heart’

Mind your heart or others will not!

A sample from Book 11

 Depths of Heart
 
protecting self‒
not letting any other
put it on a shelf
seems to be utmost important
‒above anything else
 
for in self
happiness lies
rises high
above health
any amount of wealth
‒pulling the heart
out of hell
out of the darkest well
 
for in truth heart dwells
untied from man's inhuman belt
released from whatever shelf
man tries to impel
keeping the heart from melt
‒happiness locked in a cell
 
get out, get out
see yourself‒
way deep inside
where happiness compels
in heart
where it truly swells
Continue reading “‘Depths of Heart’”

‘Thoughts in Suicide’

When you’re driven to the point of wanting to take your life!

A sample from Book 11

 Thoughts in Suicide
 
I sit to write‒
I had a destructive night
one...again...I had to fight
get out, get out
I screamed in shout
then alone I pout
wanting to die
‒these thoughts in suicide
 
I gather the pills
then to the floor
let them spill
then picked up the phone
dialed somewhere
not to feel so alone
 
1-800-273-8255 press 1
my crying's already won
death won't come
I can't forget‒
a promise not moved to undone
 
she waits in my thoughts
the one in memories
brought
the one to the floor
pills fell
myself's destruction
caught
Continue reading “‘Thoughts in Suicide’”