This one sergeant in my Army days in Germany called me Marie Laveau…lol…another one bites the dust! One of them will be strong enough to handle my energy some day. If they can let go of their pride long enough. I’ve had enough of man-ego-pride to last a life time.
Continue reading “When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!”Tag: survivor
‘Salvation’s Need’
To Deny Others Is To Deny God!
Salvation's NeedContinue reading “‘Salvation’s Need’”
test after test
I have failed
my 360
to the cross...nailed
You† brought people to me
in their time of weak
‒salvation
I failed to help them seek
instead, I buried them deep
words from my mouth
did seep
actions
I didn't allow to creep
in self
I curled up in weep
my time has come and sailed
out of all of it
I tend to bail
turning my back
not wanting to see
how another's picture
on them...creeps
I just give up and flee
whatever awakens
this ignorance of me
strip it
take it from me
strengthen me
help me to see
keep me from feeling sorry
lost in self pity
Lord†, this part of me
that lived unselfishly
I lost
please return it to me
without this lumpy throat
from way down deep
without fears and anxiety
help me open my mouth
speak
in words of calm
humility, peace
without selfish
insecurities
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‘Use It To Be It’
What ‘Not’ To Do When It Comes To Your Past!
A sample from Book 8
Use It To Be ItContinue reading “‘Use It To Be It’”
it happened‒
look back there
once, twice, thrice
‒don’t stay there
turn that wayward stare
towards something rare
turn that experience
into deliverance
he may have gotten you
clouded your view‒
that hidden abuse
that traditional muse
demanding traits of you
change your clothes
‒that too
so subtle, so quiet
you went along
after all‒
you had a home
someone
to call your own
time ticks
‘til matters click
change comes quick
only for you‒
he’s his own game
inside...the same
hiding from you
‘til open...wide
clear becomes the view
you fell hard
that knife
beyond sharp
but here you are
wearing
a survivor’s star
wondering‒
lies where
your somewhere
from back there
turn that clouded stare
‒things begin to clear
don’t put that past
totally in the rear
take it‒
use it with class
bettering you
pave an avenue
‒there’s no excuse
only you
had the view
share it‒
help others
overcome it, too
that place
out there
elevates
what he tried to kill
now
you’re headed somewhere
while
he’s stuck back there
there’s nothing to it‒
it’s just fair
his childish control
becomes
your gold
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‘Hype Me Up’
We Women Just Want to be Hyped Up!
A sample from Book 7
Hype Me Up!Continue reading “‘Hype Me Up’”
take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
teach me to laugh‒
spread my cheeks
show my teeth
help me burst through
show me happy's view
that's all
I'm asking of you
open these doors
lift me off the floor
give me off-the-wall reasons
‒smiling without ending seasons
I just need a little help
to be more than myself
show me what life is like
without all the hype
give me a chance
to really know
how it feels
to dance
take me as I am
be my teacher
not some
manipulative preacher
let me be
your choice
without a need
to calm my voice
yes, take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
put me back into life
reopen my eyes
let me giggle
let me wiggle
teach me to run
show me
what it's like
to again have fun
be my guide
let me ask my whys
take me out of this shy
teach me to trust
let me have my lust
let me throw things, fuss
teach me we are enough
‒hype me up
with unconditional love
show me
even when I fall
‒through it all
I'm still your number one
my I am
is all I need to be
‒all you want to see
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‘Bringing Her Back’
She’s Inside There. Go Get Her!
A sample from Book 7
Bringing Her BackContinue reading “‘Bringing Her Back’”
she took a step off the curve
her mind racing‒
which way to turn
the wind blowing in her hair
pulling her coat tight‒
she wandered for a while
then just stood there
frozen
listening
people were talking
kites were flying
cars were passing
behind her a soft rustle
she turned
to someone jogging
a squirrel sitting, staring
in the distance‒
a dog barking
then she felt it
‒no longer the need for dying
she felt life‒
she deserved
her heart beating
there was so much more to learn
she smiled
not a big smile
no, not one just anyone could see
it was an inside smile
on her lips‒
the hint of a small curve
she closed her eyes
enclosed herself in her arms
held her head back
her feet began to move in a tiny circle
I'm coming back
the gentle voice in her head
she heard
suddenly but gently
she stopped
opened her eyes
there before her...a path
not knowing
if it was the way she wanted to go
or the way she needed to go
she just began walking
her smile noticeable to all
she was now free
‒no longer a caged bird
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‘A Letter to Pandora’
Say It: ‘I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar!’
A sample from Book 6
A Letter to PandoraContinue reading “‘A Letter to Pandora’”
my dearest pandora:
you evil whore
stop opening false doors
I'm tired
of your illusive detours
‒your negative gore
I'll admit
I fell for the allure
the I love yous
the you're beautifuls
I'll admit
in my glass
I let others pour
I gave up control
let others take it
then gave them more
their promising lure
came slow, gradual
I believed in I'm yours
I believed in giving
‒times four
I swallowed hard
walked, paced floors
I cried and cried
hid my raging sword
as more and more
me...they ignored
‒never questioning
what for
all this rage built
I learned to hoard
keeping the peace
I constantly explored
praying you'd close
these selfish-hearted doors
but I see
how easily
you get bored
needing to keep
good hearts torn
‒racking up scores
on your evil board
enough!
I'm tired of being scorned
you're just
an evil whore
my rage is building wings
‒jamming closed
your controlling doors
hear me roar!
I'm not a board
to be walked on
or drilled
with material nails
‒your false lure
I'm a woman
an unyielding commodore
high‒
I will soar
above all
your negative gore
look up
you wretched whore
I am woman
hear me roar!
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‘Codependent’
The Codependent: Make Yourself Happy First!
A sample from Book 6
CodependentContinue reading “‘Codependent’”
I've tried to help
in ways
that didn't help
I've said yes
then no
to my self
I've avoided
hurting others
only to hurt myself
to trust my own feelings
I've been afraid
I've believed lies
then betrayed-
I often felt
I wanted to get even
punish others
for putting me
on a shelf
I often
became smothered
in anger and hate
-wanting to kill
not feeling safe
I've fought
for others' rights
when they didn't know
how the law swayed
only to be left
alone
like an abandoned stray
I've often settled
for others' worth
-left my own
to grow another day
I became
the reaction
to others' anger and hate
instead of listening to self
walking my own way
I became
less of me
for others
to be set free
I've lost myself
to dependency
on how others felt
without seeing
my own need
to be free
to be just me
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‘Stepping into the Fear’
Forget the Fear. Concentrate On What You Want!
A sample from Book 6
Stepping into the FearContinue reading “‘Stepping into the Fear’”
what you are is what you think
―an old worn out thing
but living half your life
you come to see
how truly right
these words ring
any day-dreaming thought
even silently in the dark
―closed secret of the heart
given enough time
begins to shape its part
if the pictures seep in your head
while laying in bed
something you dread
or just want to unwed
―be careful
your repeated secret byline
given enough time
will come to you
will come true
it takes years
to make the picture clear
bits and pieces―
many scenarios pass through
your reality won't mock it
your actions won't show it
but in the universe
you did throw it
―over and over
believing it just fantasy
only your mind can see
nothing close to your reality
what does it hurt
losing yourself to its scenes
just a day-dreaming thought
something imagined in the dark
―silently in your heart
where no one has to be fought
something you think
not really sought
given enough time
begins to shape its part
with enough passing days
with enough nights to fade
the fantasy slowly builds
secret thoughts turn real
the universe enjoys enough time
fantasy to reality begins to align
instead of in your head
―hidden secrets fed
soon to become
a life led
deep inside
you try to deny
your eyes continuously cry
this can't be right
you start a war
―feverously fight
an outward dreaded fear
―at first unclear
the day-dreaming thoughts stop
as hands move on a clock
tic-toc, tic-toc
all your eye-seeing reality
becomes your secret fantasy
not exactly the way you saw
―the same is the result
wiping away the tears
now, it's all perfectly clear
what you wanted the most
―the secret you didn't boast
was the one thing
you truly feared
the fantasy
that only the universe
could hear
so it changed your course
―it may feel forced
you yell, scream, cry
over and over asking why
repeat, repeat, repeat
'til you're hoarse
it leaves you no choice
but to step into your fear
―see your secret thoughts
as the true reality
of your heart
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‘A Rose When It Blooms’
A Woman Becomes Awesome After the ‘Hard’!
A sample from Book 6
A Rose When It BloomsContinue reading “‘A Rose When It Blooms’”
it's easy to pass it by
if you don't have a good eye
it's easy to deny
―be easily satisfied
by its humble life
it's easy to say goodbye
if you don't understand―
its true vibe
instead of just
its surface shy
it's hard to describe
what comes from deep inside
watching a rose come alive
―shine in the light
spread its wings and divide
it's hard to simplify
its gentle lullaby
―its pure divine
without trying to deprive
its exotic fire
it's hard to amplify
what its many colors
signify
or how it mystifies
emotions and desires
it's hard to transcribe
without trying to terrify
or leaving questions of why
―I'm willing to try
when a rose awakes and divides
emotions thrive
its very beauty signifies
its power from God†
―adding harmony to lives
making a grown man cry
leaving the most vocal soul
tongue-tied
once awoken―
a rose transpires
all of its drive
all of its pride
to its newly created empire
it doesn't try to bribe
with all its energy it dives
overriding its individual side
transforming its tide
refusing to deprive
so that its vibrance can thrive
with its own awakening desires
it doesn't place a price
or intend to bring strife
it doesn't even think twice
or wonder if it's right
it doesn't need or try to justify
―connive or lie
it just breathes life
―a humbling sacrifice
byway of God's† pure light
yes, it's easy to pass by
if you don't have a good eye
it's easy to deny
the beauty of a rose
―opening and coming alive
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‘Twenty-Year Itch’
Trust Me: It’s Not Your Fault!
A sample from Book 6
Twenty-Year ItchContinue reading “‘Twenty-Year Itch’”
there's a glitch
in this marriage-is-forever niche
no one says it
when selling their pitch
they just say―
marriage is a gift
no more ifs
no more endless cliffs
but it's all a myth
for there's a ditch
from which
comes the switch
where love drifts
lies are rich
truths are a bitch
change is swift
heed this warnings' monolith
the twenty-year itch
comes from this sudden twitch
egotistical snitch
a labyrinth
a deceptive clinch
leaving you adrift
lost to miff
without even one
understanding flinch
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