‘Suffocation’

Breaking That Anger Cycle!

A sample from Book 12

 Suffocation
 
this heart
renders a need
to hurt, to bleed
that moment
joy
wants to intercede
I halt its need
to proceed
 
happy's unending
perseverance
to feed

fear takes over me
stopping
pathways in receive
‒instill in me
to believe
every thought
in my mind–
it's always in conceive
the reaction of angry
it's heart-stealing deceive
as a child
is all I did see
 
I push hard
to the dream–
if I could just free me
–all that anger
I did see
a child
not long in maturity
lose myself
in its captivity
of what it means
to be me  
Continue reading “‘Suffocation’”

‘Attrition’

Ways Codependents React to Narcissists After a Breakup

A sample from Book 9

 Attrition
 
a stable life in good–
doing what you should
holding on tight–
what's under the hood
 
seasons change
all the same
knowing they would–
gripping firmly to strength
keeping sight
in positive's look
assuring self
you've done it right–
gave the love you could
 
then all stop–
a tied-up knot
the sudden chop
from what is
to the cold, calculated not
 
words thrown
you misunderstood
 
you...searching
for answers in known
looking back–
on grounds stood
phrases said–
bouncing in head
surely something mistook–
signs overlooked
 
you know what you felt
all the right moves dealt
–the magic read in clouds
stories in books
readings in prayer books
right there...underfoot
all the best
in adulthood
words clearly understood
 
but there...lacking input
missed lessons in hymn books
–deceptions little nook
misguided direction
landing
in betrayal's neighborhood
 
all the pieces
so well together...put
a bit in the odd
the back-there look
 
a moved life
in sudden maidenhood
no written guidebook
teachings a foot–
these misguided ways
in falsehood
 
stripping moments of good–
losing self
in fancy-driven gook
scenes of hollywood
masterminds mastering weakness–
perils of womanhood–
–sly little crooks
robbing more livelihood–
what was already shook
 
tighter goes the knots
yet another sudden stop–
that letting-down drop
forcing
the non-welcomed re-surfacing
of anger's top
that place–
you thought chopped
 
lessons learned in crop–
that sudden stop
strengthens the lot
of hurt's already
worn-out blot
 
out goes buddhahood–
peaceful mind
turns to soot
promises of a finally found
true
honesty in real's manhood
lost once again
in a dreamer
stuck in boyhood
 
all this defend
breaks self down–
losing the will it took
to again's stuck in pussyfoot
–for nothing more
than mere, stagnated driftwood–
too hard for firewood
too nimble-footed
too backwoods
to be anyone's
true knighthood
 
so you just dawn an old frock
cover all the clocks
mourn what's not
–lessons thrown to floors
then mopped
live a bit in shell-shock
 
then, again fight
return good
to its original spot
–add the lost
to false-love's overflowing
melting pot
–take a minute...sob
tie tighter the knot
listen to some hip-hop
suck on some lollipops
–try to forget
once more...robbed
trying to convince self
heartbreak
not your mascot
 
but hope steps on in
forcing self
back into believe–
somewhere, out there
a heart's coming
your world to rock
without ever again
the sudden stop
from what is
to what's not
love in flop
Continue reading “‘Attrition’”

Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?

(March 17, 2019)―Reading. That’s what I’ve been doing. One author who caught my attention over a year ago through her videos and website is Shahida Arabi who has become an expert on the subject of narcissists and their many manipulative, abusive ways. I will write a lot more about her findings, including my personal experiences, when my website is up and running. For now, there are two important points that Arabi makes in her article titled ‘5 Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Manipulate You’ from her book titled Power.

Continue reading “Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?”

Quotes on the Self

I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar. That’s the yell I screamed in my writing since the beginning. It doesn’t surprise me that I have made it my motto. If you don’t speak up, the train of life will just run right over you…leaving you dumb-found and drowning in a sea of tears. Speak up! Don’t bury yourself in silence. It will only age you and sink you into a bottomless pit. Say what’s on your mind. Speak the truth even while you are shaking. Enjoy the quotes here and the artwork. Love the skin you’re in!

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Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

‘Thrust in Turns’

Freeing Yourself From Codependency

A sample from Book 11

That’s an interesting question. It’s the biggest question that I tackle in my 11th book of My 12-Book Series. It’s a tough order. Just the Introduction was a tough order to write. The writing extensive and so was my life at the time.

Codependency showed its ugly face over and over bringing me to pure helplessness. I struggled. I fought against everyone. I was determine to find a way to break this crap. I refuse to believe that there was no cure. Everyone was lying and I was determined to prove it! Don’t be put off. There’s still another book that follows this one. Here’s part of my Introduction to Book 11.

Continue reading “‘Thrust in Turns’”

Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!

A sample from Book 10

I don’t see why because they have been telling you how they are for years. I’m not as into the politics today as I was years ago. Things just seem to keep going in the down direction, and there’s way too many people arguing instead of doing.

I know in my own home the argument over politics was huge. Being in a mixed relationship didn’t help matters as all this black/white issues took center stage. I have never been a racist. I’m not privileged. This seemed not to register with my ex-boyfriend. It saddens me on how many people believe this B.S. There are many people who believe they are privileged. I’ve seen them. I’m glad I’m not one of them. What follows is part of the Introduction to my last book on politics, Book 10, in My 12-Book Series.

Continue reading “Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!”

Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!

A sample from Book 9

Oh! Are you in for a treat! I began talking about codependency in Book 6. I didn’t see the horror in it until 2015…that need to make others happy began to affect me in the worse way. The following is part of the Introduction to Book 9 in My 12-Book series.

To heal…to completely heal from abuse, you have to deal with the codependent in you. It won’t be easy. From this book all the way to Book 12, I fought it. You can do it, too. Trust in the journey and get my books…I do have a different answer than most do.

Continue reading “Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!”

Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!

A sample from Book 8

It’s a process. Sometimes a long one depending if abuse was in the mix. The follow is part of the Introduction to my 8th book in My 12-Book Series. It’s just the beginning of the acceptance stage. Depression still follows. Anger still follows you. You have a journey, but you can do it.

My journey took a twist by adding another relationship to the mix. This book is only the beginning to that. Oh! You just gotta love those who just think they don’t do any wrong. Life’s quite a ride!

“…This book is an exploration of self: Overcoming the anger, the hurt, seeing the damage and healing, understanding how God brings us to something in order to help us and not hinder us, to understand that God’s timing is not our own…and it doesn’t matter how we want to rush it, He’ll stop us in our tracks, slow us down in order for time to heal…[time to] work its magic.

Continue reading “Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!”

This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like

A sample from Book 7

All different shades! No one handles betrayal the same…or do we? We rage. We scream. We yell and cry. What happens after that? Depression. How you handle it is up to you. Many times…we don’t have a choice how that plays out. The following is from the Introduction of my 7th Book in My 12-Book Series.

“There are things you have to do to take care of yourself during this stage. You have to get out of it. I know showing you how I got through the initial shock of it, will help you make through alive!

Continue reading “This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like”
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