Tag: anger

‘A Woman’s Strength’

You Deserve Appreciation and Love!

A sample from Book 5

  A Woman's Strength
  
 did you think of me today
 no call came my way
 underneath my smile I sway
no words do I say
 I thought of you all day
 as I rushed through my filled plate
  
 early I started to bake
 not long the house was laced
 with the smell of your favorite
chocolate cake
  
 the kids were at play
 a new toy
one did break
 one became the prey
the other screamed hate
 peace...I had to make
clearing the haze
 putting smiles on their face
 anger left no trace
but it was too late
 the cake―
I had to throw away
  
 ring phone ring
I did pray
 hoping you'd call to say hey
  
 then the dog did stray
 I had to move in haste
apologies to convey
 the neighbor's yard― 
a garbage-strung maze
 after an hour's pace
 a cleaned yard
done in good faith
  
 I reentered the house
 noticed it was only eight
 my day― 
moving at a slow rate
 still no word from my mate
  
 breakfast I did make
 then the taste of toothpaste
 the cleaned dish plates
no time to wait
 everyone dress
screamed hurrah
  
 to the babysitters― 
who monthly I pay
 to take my place
 a goodbye kiss
a last minute wave
 off to work
my smile...fake
  
 then I remember
I hadn't ate
 my eight-hour day
drove its heavy weight
 still no word from my mate
  
 rush-hour traffic
a nerve-raking state
 thus beginning the evening chase
 babysitter, supper
no flirter's bait
comes my way
 sent the children
off to bathe
 finally you call
again...you're working late
 a quiet evening to waste
 long, restless night
again...I must face
 until you're home
and I feel safe
  
 did you think of me today
 no call came my way
 underneath my smile I sway
no words do I say
 I thought of you all day
 as I rushed through
my filled plate
  
Continue reading “‘A Woman’s Strength’”

‘The Experience’

Your Anger Turns to Lust to Move You!

A sample from Book 5

 The Experience
  
 I'm your past
I'm what
didn't last
 I'm what
could
never last
  
 I'm the passing blast
 to move through
really fast
 with the quickness
of a kisser's dash
  
 I'm the wine glass
wearing a mask
 making
my on-stop splash
  
 I'm your past
leaving you
in a gasp
 easily slipping
from your grasp
 in your mind
thoughts are cast
 in my heart
the debris
of a failed lover's task
Continue reading “‘The Experience’”

‘Anger’s Brethren’

Don’t Use the Children!

A sample from Book 5

 Anger's Brethren
  
 its face is ugly
 peeking through
little by little
 building its soul
 one small piece at a time
  
 vulnerability
it patiently waits
 then the attack
increasing the heartbeat
 clouding
a once throughout plan
 wilting the roses
rains replacing sunshines
 beautiful language
turns to spiteful vengeance
 over ruling logic
 hardening
closing open hearts
  
 its face is ugly
destroying all good
 taking its time
taking all time
 closing doors
'til love exist
no more
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Brethren’”

‘Basic Need’

You Have the Need: So Fucking Roar!

A sample from Book 1.

 Basic Need
  
 we hide our self
 behind
walls we built
  
 not being good enough
truly felt
 being afraid
fear tightens our belt
  
 past haunts‒ 
needing to prove oneself
 strengthens
our woven quilt
 submersed
in unforgiving guilt
  
 worries
attack our health
 negative thoughts
 keeping away life's wealth
  
 once you've knelt
 stop hiding
beneath the buried shelf
  
 the past
takes care of itself
 no longer
feeling like an elf
  
 pain
will suddenly melt
 you'll be happy
with yourself
Continue reading “‘Basic Need’”

‘Yelled Sarcasm’

5 Ways to Heal ‘Self’ from Abuse and Trauma

 Yelled Sarcasm
  
 speaking out of turn
 oh! how this heart burns
  
 this once gentle character
stripped
 each time a tone of voice
tips
  
 gone the plow
that once endured
 for this ache!
there is no cure
  
 once betrayed
bitterness lays
 honesty...only the heart craves
  
 that forever solid pace
yearned
 ‒left with only discern
  
 out the heart‒
emotions...flipped
 drops of dimes‒
where truth is clipped
  
 all smells like week-old manure
 ‒nothing left that's pure
  
 seconds, minutes, hours‒
turn to days
 as what was‒
gets lost in a bitter haze
Continue reading “‘Yelled Sarcasm’”

‘Ignorance of Spirit’

Would You Listen If Someone Tried To Help You?

 Ignorance of Spirit

our bodies are the temple
our hearts...filled with love
a mark placed from above
through the spilling‒
of an innocent man's blood

since that day
comes few miracles
in faith, we must see
when words are sent to believe
to take us out of deceive
words placed in hearts
way down deep
for only us to reach
for only one to receive

we set boundaries, principles
God's† words come in a nudge
giving us a rush
with a unwelcomed blush
‒something He† wants of us
something we can't‒
down toilets...flush
in dreams, in signs
comes the flood
'til we no longer‒
to the side...can shove
 
we become
a quiet little disciple
knowing what‒
inside...breathes
relaying messages to relieve
to tone down‒
the spiritual creed
‒silently waddling in scream
 
how will they believe
without something in see
 
any forced retrieve
will just not be!
...goes further the decree
faith...for some...so weak
matching the heart's message in lead‒
a solid force shown in see
 
disclosing the known‒
small strokes to brush
without any lust
‒crushing every bit of trust
 
a task so tough
the pull to run...give up
wanting to do away
with this stuff
‒too deep holds the grudge
 
all the pieces‒
just too much
too many things
running a muck
realizing the struggling pup‒
unbelief
buried in dirty mud
‒thoughts in heart
begins to be enough
 
down, down, down
into so much mush
 
if you don't help
erase the slush
 
then...comes in
the morning dove
the symbol of love
saying don't give up
‒messages from above
that you can't
aside...shove!
Continue reading “‘Ignorance of Spirit’”

‘Attrition’

Ways Codependents React to Narcissists After a Breakup

A sample from Book 9

 Attrition
  
 a stable life in good–
doing what you should
 holding on tight–
what's under the hood
  
 seasons change
all the same
knowing they would–
 gripping firmly to strength
 keeping sight
in positive's look
 assuring self
you've done it right–
 gave the love you could
  
 then all stop–
a tied-up knot
the sudden chop
 from what is
to the cold, calculated not
  
 words thrown
you misunderstood
  
 you...searching
for answers in known
 looking back–
on grounds stood
 phrases said–
bouncing in head
 surely something mistook–
signs overlooked
  
 you know what you felt
 all the right moves dealt
 –the magic read in clouds
stories in books
 readings in prayer books
right there...underfoot
 all the best
in adulthood
 words clearly understood
  
 but there...lacking input
 missed lessons in hymn books
 –deceptions little nook
misguided direction
 landing
in betrayal's neighborhood
  
 all the pieces
so well together...put
 a bit in the odd–
the back-there look
  
 a moved life
in sudden maidenhood
 no written guidebook
teachings a foot–
 these misguided ways
in falsehood
  
 stripping moments of good–
 losing self
in fancy-driven gook
 scenes of hollywood
 masterminds mastering weakness–
 perils of womanhood–
 –sly little crooks
 robbing more livelihood–
 what was already shook
  
 tighter goes the knots
yet another sudden stop–
 that letting-down drop
 forcing
the non-welcomed re-surfacing
 of anger's top
that place–
you thought chopped
  
 lessons learned in crop–
 that sudden stop
strengthens the lot
 of hurt's already
worn-out blot
  
 out goes buddhahood–
peaceful mind
turns to soot
 promises of a finally found–
 true
honesty in real's manhood
 lost once again
in a dreamer
stuck in boyhood
  
 all this defend
breaks self down–
 losing the will it took
 to again's stuck in pussyfoot
 –for nothing more
 than mere, stagnated driftwood–
 too hard for firewood
too nimble-footed
 too backwoods
to be anyone's
true knighthood
  
 so you just dawn an old frock
 cover all the clocks
mourn what's not
 –lessons thrown to floors
then mopped
 live a bit in shell-shock
  
 then, again fight
return good
 to its original spot
 –add the lost
 to false-love's overflowing
melting pot
 –take a minute...sob
tie tighter the knot
 listen to some hip-hop
suck on some lollipops
 –try to forget
once more...robbed
 trying to convince self–
 heartbreak
not your mascot
  
 but hope steps on in
 forcing self
back into believe–
somewhere, out there
 a heart's coming
your world to rock
 without ever again
the sudden stop
 from what is
to what's not–
love in flop
Continue reading “‘Attrition’”

Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?

(March 17, 2019)―Reading. That’s what I’ve been doing. One author who caught my attention over a year ago through her videos and website is Shahida Arabi who has become an expert on the subject of narcissists and their many manipulative, abusive ways. I will write a lot more about her findings, including my personal experiences, when my website is up and running. For now, there are two important points that Arabi makes in her article titled ‘5 Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Manipulate You’ from her book titled Power.

The 5 powerful ways are of course:

Continue reading “Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!

A sample from Book 10

I don’t see why because they have been telling you how they are for years. I’m not as into the politics today as I was years ago. Things just seem to keep going in the down direction, and there’s way too many people arguing instead of doing.

I know in my own home the argument over politics was huge. Being in a mixed relationship didn’t help matters as all this black/white issues took center stage. I have never been a racist. I’m not privileged. This seemed not to register with my ex-boyfriend. It saddens me on how many people believe this B.S. There are many people who believe they are privileged. I’ve seen them. I’m glad I’m not one of them. What follows is part of the Introduction to my last book on politics, Book 10, in My 12-Book Series.

Continue reading “Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!”