Tag: marriage

‘Basic Need’

You Have the Need: So Fucking Roar!

A sample from Book 1.

 Basic Need
  
 we hide our self
 behind
walls we built
  
 not being good enough
truly felt
 being afraid
fear tightens our belt
  
 past haunts‒ 
needing to prove oneself
 strengthens
our woven quilt
 submersed
in unforgiving guilt
  
 worries
attack our health
 negative thoughts
 keeping away life's wealth
  
 once you've knelt
 stop hiding
beneath the buried shelf
  
 the past
takes care of itself
 no longer
feeling like an elf
  
 pain
will suddenly melt
 you'll be happy
with yourself
Continue reading “‘Basic Need’”

‘Yelled Sarcasm’

5 Ways to Heal ‘Self’ from Abuse and Trauma

 Yelled Sarcasm
  
 speaking out of turn
 oh! how this heart burns
  
 this once gentle character
stripped
 each time a tone of voice
tips
  
 gone the plow
that once endured
 for this ache!
there is no cure
  
 once betrayed
bitterness lays
 honesty...only the heart craves
  
 that forever solid pace
yearned
 ‒left with only discern
  
 out the heart‒
emotions...flipped
 drops of dimes‒
where truth is clipped
  
 all smells like week-old manure
 ‒nothing left that's pure
  
 seconds, minutes, hours‒
turn to days
 as what was‒
gets lost in a bitter haze
Continue reading “‘Yelled Sarcasm’”

‘Attrition’

Ways Codependents React to Narcissists After a Breakup

A sample from Book 9

 Attrition
  
 a stable life in good–
doing what you should
 holding on tight–
what's under the hood
  
 seasons change
all the same
knowing they would–
 gripping firmly to strength
 keeping sight
in positive's look
 assuring self
you've done it right–
 gave the love you could
  
 then all stop–
a tied-up knot
the sudden chop
 from what is
to the cold, calculated not
  
 words thrown
you misunderstood
  
 you...searching
for answers in known
 looking back–
on grounds stood
 phrases said–
bouncing in head
 surely something mistook–
signs overlooked
  
 you know what you felt
 all the right moves dealt
 –the magic read in clouds
stories in books
 readings in prayer books
right there...underfoot
 all the best
in adulthood
 words clearly understood
  
 but there...lacking input
 missed lessons in hymn books
 –deceptions little nook
misguided direction
 landing
in betrayal's neighborhood
  
 all the pieces
so well together...put
 a bit in the odd–
the back-there look
  
 a moved life
in sudden maidenhood
 no written guidebook
teachings a foot–
 these misguided ways
in falsehood
  
 stripping moments of good–
 losing self
in fancy-driven gook
 scenes of hollywood
 masterminds mastering weakness–
 perils of womanhood–
 –sly little crooks
 robbing more livelihood–
 what was already shook
  
 tighter goes the knots
yet another sudden stop–
 that letting-down drop
 forcing
the non-welcomed re-surfacing
 of anger's top
that place–
you thought chopped
  
 lessons learned in crop–
 that sudden stop
strengthens the lot
 of hurt's already
worn-out blot
  
 out goes buddhahood–
peaceful mind
turns to soot
 promises of a finally found–
 true
honesty in real's manhood
 lost once again
in a dreamer
stuck in boyhood
  
 all this defend
breaks self down–
 losing the will it took
 to again's stuck in pussyfoot
 –for nothing more
 than mere, stagnated driftwood–
 too hard for firewood
too nimble-footed
 too backwoods
to be anyone's
true knighthood
  
 so you just dawn an old frock
 cover all the clocks
mourn what's not
 –lessons thrown to floors
then mopped
 live a bit in shell-shock
  
 then, again fight
return good
 to its original spot
 –add the lost
 to false-love's overflowing
melting pot
 –take a minute...sob
tie tighter the knot
 listen to some hip-hop
suck on some lollipops
 –try to forget
once more...robbed
 trying to convince self–
 heartbreak
not your mascot
  
 but hope steps on in
 forcing self
back into believe–
somewhere, out there
 a heart's coming
your world to rock
 without ever again
the sudden stop
 from what is
to what's not–
love in flop
Continue reading “‘Attrition’”

Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!

A sample from Book 9

Oh! Are you in for a treat! I began talking about codependency in Book 6. I didn’t see the horror in it until 2015…that need to make others happy began to affect me in the worse way. The following is part of the Introduction to Book 9 in My 12-Book series.

To heal…to completely heal from abuse, you have to deal with the codependent in you. It won’t be easy. From this book all the way to Book 12, I fought it. You can do it, too. Trust in the journey and get my books…I do have a different answer than most do.

Continue reading “Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!”

Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!

A sample from Book 8

It’s a process. Sometimes a long one depending if abuse was in the mix. The follow is part of the Introduction to my 8th book in My 12-Book Series. It’s just the beginning of the acceptance stage. Depression still follows. Anger still follows you. You have a journey, but you can do it.

My journey took a twist by adding another relationship to the mix. This book is only the beginning to that. Oh! You just gotta love those who just think they don’t do any wrong. Life’s quite a ride!

“…This book is an exploration of self: Overcoming the anger, the hurt, seeing the damage and healing, understanding how God brings us to something in order to help us and not hinder us, to understand that God’s timing is not our own…and it doesn’t matter how we want to rush it, He’ll stop us in our tracks, slow us down in order for time to heal…[time to] work its magic.

Continue reading “Bringing Yourself from Hurt to Healing!”

This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like

A sample from Book 7

All different shades! No one handles betrayal the same…or do we? We rage. We scream. We yell and cry. What happens after that? Depression. How you handle it is up to you. Many times…we don’t have a choice how that plays out. The following is from the Introduction of my 7th Book in My 12-Book Series.

“There are things you have to do to take care of yourself during this stage. You have to get out of it. I know showing you how I got through the initial shock of it, will help you make through alive!

Continue reading “This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like”

This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!

A sample from Book 6

You freaking bargain your way out of it! With a vengeance. Everyone will bargain differently. The following is from the Introduction of my 6th Book in My 12-Book Series. The Bargaining stage! In this book I will show you what the bargaining stage looks like. The fight is real! And you are not just up against your anger, but up against everything else around you!

Continue reading “This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!”

Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!

A sample from Book 5

Yes, it does. That’s why I felt compelled to write this book. Anger does some awful things to us. When you are going through something you really don’t understand and you don’t have the resources to help you, anger builds.

There was nothing for me to grab hold of. For you, you now have this book to help you understand how anger controls you and how to get a grip. The following is from the Introduction to my 5th Book in My 12-Book series. I hope that this book can keep you from making the mistakes I made.

Continue reading “Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!”

Don’t Fix What Ain’t Broken!

A sample from Book 4

That was my question as I went through year after year of constantly starting over as a teacher. Yes, there’s things broken with the American education system…but they are constantly trying to fix the wrong things.

The following is from the Introduction to my 4th Book in My 12-Book Series during my denial stage where I focused on everything outside of myself and my home instead of focusing on the important stuff. What I discovered will amaze you! The only thing I could do was write a book about it and offer simple solutions to what the higher-ups makes so complex.

Continue reading “Don’t Fix What Ain’t Broken!”

Reading American History In Rhyme!

In order to understand what it means to be an American you have to actually study American history. The following is from the Introduction my 3rd Book in My 12-Book Series. As I stated below, this wasn’t my intention, but we do follow the path that God sets for us.

“How do we confront our past without destroying our own selves in the process? Just like the next person, we want to deny what we’ve done and move on without ever thinking about it again. But do we really come to terms with it? It is the year 2017. I’m sitting in yet another apartment. Apartment 714. It is strange. That number adds up to 12. That number can mean a lot of things like the 12 tribes in the Bible. The 12 months of the year. The 360. The chance to start fresh. A new year’s beginning.

A lot has happened in my life since this book was written. A lot has changed. Then, again, a lot remains the same.

Continue reading “Reading American History In Rhyme!”