Tag: healing

‘Pulling A Jonah’

Adhering to the Message!

 Pulling A Jonah
  
 you can run
but you can't hide
 upon you, lies God's† eye
 from one end to the next‒
 He† does not change His† tide
 He† remains the same‒
 in all colors of die
  
 no use in the pretend‒
 no use in loud or shy
 His† call to you to ride–
 to accept or to deny
 either way
you'll pay with your Life
 eternity in die
 eternity in the Light
 you choose
you have that right
  
 ‒that calling comes
from really high‒
 you can run
but you can't hide
 you...He'll† seek and find
 throw you in perils of Life
 'til you accept with every sigh
  
 cry little birdie...cry
 He'll† wait
'til you get the right high
 bowing your head
reaching for the sky
  
 He'll† force your comply
 He† knows your heart inside
 His† calling
from within or outside
 important for the rise
 He'll† rage the water‒
 'til you submit to the cry
 then you'll see‒
 the beauty of the Light

(August 13, 2019)―The things we do NOT listen to! Oh, my! Karen, you’re such a hard-headed child! Agreed! Agreed! The story of Jonah. That’s where I was led to this morning. I’ve written about Jonah before comparing it to the feeling of depression. That’s how I find the separate parts of each Scripture is: They tell us something different to each individual, but as a whole, the story of Jonah is much more powerful.

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‘What Says You’

I am woman and my faith is my Choice!

 What Says You
  
 defiance in its True nature
 reaches those too immature
 to know the difference
 ‒a veiled struggling creature
 avoiding Words of the One
True teacher
  
 over two thousand years ago
 blood fell on hands‒
 those in the know
 as they began to sow
 deceptions made
of silver and gold
 dawning black hats and robes
 ignoring what Yeshuah† came to show
 choices of Ignorance
they choose
 ‒God† released His† grasp
His† hold
  
 time slips in its venture
 here and there...new adventures
 ‒Words remain
from the One and only teacher
 He† will come
without another lecture
 He† will come
in storms of weather
 they'll be no guessing‒
 go on being the hater, the abuser
 you won't have to wonder
 when it's time‒
 you won't deny
the presence of the Creator
  
 so go on...go!
 be the reason
for Destruction...hold
 be thoughtless and bold
 He's† coming!
 He's† coming
absent silver and gold
 He's† coming to decide‒
 who stays, who goes
 who rises, who He† shall behold
  
 152...a good number to consider
 ignore...it doesn't matter
 He's† never been the taker
 ‒a constant in giver
 lessons, tests‒
 giving all chances in reconsider

 now His† patience is on the damper
 time is over...in chatter
 get on your knees‒
 be the pray-er
 change your heart
to the honest giver
 repent in matters of sinner
 ‒time in choose
is now on the ledger‒
 no turning back‒
 He's†  becoming the taker!

(August 8, 2019)—My spiritual journey is continuing. I’m not really ready to talk about it but I’m sure there will come a day. Today, I was led to Acts…pages that I never marked up. I have been questioning my journey lately. I’m a woman…as a former Catholic…I asked: I’m a woman. What authority do I have to talk about such things? I’m not kidding. The Catholic church has re-positioned the woman below man for hundreds and hundreds of years. I’m lucky to have finally had my eyes opened to their cruel injustice…truly against anything the Bible teaches!

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‘Men of Songs’

Understanding depression and the veils by-way of Job!

 Men of Songs
  
 I thrash out my complaints
 I take the hurt, the Blame
 put it all on my shoulders‒
 knowing
through all this rough terrain
 not one showed Sincerity
not one came
  
 so I let tears fall
like rain
 open my mouth
my worded train
 feeling alone, empty
worthless...plain
 wondering if I'm really insane
  
 I cast out my stones to You†
 ‒Your† broken little dame
 all these tasks
my Life...so drained
 not knowing the final aim
 just take it all in‒
 the arrows of false names
 on invisible ropes...I hang
  
 told...Life is but a game
 learn to play it...you win fame
  
 You† and I know‒
 that's not how it's framed
 Life isn't at all a game
 You†...no one can tame
 someone so righteous‒
 You† easily cast in flames
 and that person
will never be the same
  
 when this heart
feels weak in faint
 I look at all my I can'ts
 I re-hear all those filthy names
 know...none of them...I ain't
 but I know‒
 I'm such a tiny piece of grain
 and the only fame
to be claimed
 is that of Your† sweet, sweet name
  
 I'm so, so tired
of being maimed
 so tired of lonely's strain
 what have I gained
 on this hateful, lonely lane
  
 I know it's part of Yeshuah's† name
 each and every vein
 I'm so weary...feelings‒
 my work done in vain
 so, I call on you...Yeshuah†
 please take all my complaints
 straight to our Father†
 ‒pull me out
this agonizing drain
 forgive all my trespasses
 turn me over‒
 to at least one heart
who feels the same
 ‒a bit of hunger
a bit of tame
 to do works of Good‒
 in Your† sweet, sweet name

(July 24, 2019)—Our mothers. Veils. Mercy. I’ve been having a hard time putting my thoughts on paper lately. It may not seem like it but it’s still true. I end up writing it in my head then when I sit down, the same thoughts that I had don’t come out. I didn’t want to write anymore. For the past week or so, I’ve been in a battle with my self I guess you could say. I’m tired. I’ve been doing this work for seven years now. I’ve been writing and teaching and learning for over 10. I’m tired. But I’m to keep going.

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‘Solitary Confinement’

The truth of planting seeds by-way of Jeremiah! It’s time for hurting to take the personal responsibility to heal.

 
 Solitary Confinement
  
 they're out there enjoying Life
 those who Lied and betrayed
 while she sits in silence
 waiting for her time
  
 they all believe the opposite
 of what is True
 they are all blinded in fool
 while her tears cause her to drool
 praying...her inward tool
 for being condemned
 doing what she was supposed to do
  
 all abandoned her
 deciding to judge
 where no judgment was due
 pitying her–
 where no pitying was due
  
 so she accepts the cross
 ‒knowing full well...who's in charge
 in the waves of other's flaws
 like a rage doll...she was tossed
  
 but her hopes
stayed with the Light
 their insecurities
weren't even her fight
 in her eyes
she just watched their blight
 screamed at them
in her troubled fight
 thinking it was her right
 standing up for herself
against the night
 those suffering for lack of insight
 in only the Lord†
can things ever be right
  
 yes, she watched...screamed
 with all her might
 years of blight‒
 but it was never her fight
 ‒she was already in the Light
  
 so she waits...sometimes in cry
 accepting the silence
 her temporary confinement
 forever lasting enlightenment
 as those who suffer inside
 play with false lives
on the outside
 ‒the lost coveting what they lost
 concealing in Lies...lost
 not knowing what it means
 to take it to the cross
  
 yes, they condemn her, judge her
 placing her in depressed...lost
 when all the while‒
 what they refused to see
 she was always a Faithful child
 of the Boss!

(July 23, 2019)—There’s a lot going on but little of nothing. What’s taking place in my life is not on the outside per say. I never really knew what was meant by Spiritual Awakening. To be honest, I thought it was all a bunch of crap. But I could never deny the things I’ve experienced when it came to the spiritual world. All the experiences I’ve written about in My 12-Book Series, well, they actually happened. Everything I’m experiencing now…it’s actually happening. It’s not in my mind, or some crazy deal. I think this is the part that separates the spiritual realm from the rest of the world. People go to church every day all around the world, but they really don’t understand what they are hearing or reading about because so much is left out of those preachings.

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‘When You Are Sure!’

The veils revealed through Ezekiel 38 and 39.

 When You Are Sure!
  
 self righteousness
won't get you far
 look to the stars
 get out of your cars
 stare
not at mars...stars
  
 your petty judgments
 your petty arguments
 have not compared to wars
 the Lord† has charged
  
 out of Peace
He† can forge
 start from nothing...wars
 use the enemy
for a cause
 that didn't exist
until veils barged
  
 your evil thoughts
won't get you too far
 for He's† in charge!
  
 you don't have a say
on your part
 when He† Needs
to move forward‒
 His† barge!

(July 16, 2019)―I’m to write my truth to you. A lot has been going on in my world and it is happening fast. I seem to have written enough about the healing…what we are responsible to do for ourselves. Now, the writing is upsetting in a way. I’ve had some hormonal days topped with the upstairs neighbor having strife…I’ve been sucking up the energy, and then getting this spiritual awakening (go ahead and smirk…I had to look all this up myself), now these writings that are coming. I’ve been crying for two days.

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‘Testing Will’

Testimony: One of God’s messengers. Saying YES to the Big Man Upstairs…no matter what! My 4-year journey for love, no matter the consequences!

 Testing Will
  
 He† knows me deep within
 He† knows I'd give in
 then...feel the guilt of sin
  
 He† held me
within this evil den
 all along–
 as I felt alone and abandoned
 as I cried and cried
struggling, fighting
 –evil's bid to win
  
 four years in this brethren
 a feel of insanity's hymn
 negative thoughts...pounding
 smothered in foreign emotions
 evil aware of the reason
 –knowing
the purpose of my season
  
 sometimes
losing it without praying
 lost in extreme's commotion
 at me...came every explanation
 learning my self
in its manipulation
  
 evil tried to win
 it tried everything
 digging its teeth within
  
 my angels were fighting
 holding me in their wings
 'til I was in delivering
 –my will weakening...strengthening
 a day-to-day variation
 –wanting it all to end
  
 this sixth sense
gave its warning
 the stay kept on coming
 along with each
secretive manifestation
in hiding
 as anxiety and panic
kept attacking
  
 my self-esteem
furiously stripping
 burying me in ignoring
 playing in my sexuality–
 what was left
of its intention
 through emotional baiting
fight's annihilation
 this dizzying world
kept me sinking
 'til my hands
living in jittering
 my eyes...blurring, drying
 my hair in constant falling
 my weight in agonizing gaining
 my chest in heavy palpitations
 my body lost
in fatigue's aggravation
 my mind fighting negative
horrid inventions
 my mouth became
acid's salutation
 from yelling, screaming
foul annotations
 to a vicious appeal
in chanting
  
 I held on tight
to the calling
 knowing...soon...it was ending
 pleading and begging
 praying and sleeping
 dreaming and imagining
 –holding on to
the coming glorification
  
 packing and moving
 God's† quick verification
 to do it
even through questioning, doubting
 –it all wasn't fabrication
 or some childish exaggeration
 but a purposeful delivering intention
 –a message coming through....
 fighting evil's blocking mechanism
 for a soul in saving
 me: a favor in returning
 as God's† hardened instrumentation
  
 I took it in breaking
 codependency's formulation
 –holding on tight
to God's† coming verification
 all...
leading to enlightening, awakening
 a coming out
spiritual connection 

My Continued Spiritual Journey and My Latest Revelations…Because God Said So!

(June 13-July 6, 2019)―In this article: I will recap some events that led up to today where I’m sitting; I will show and explain how numbers work when it comes to messages and I will show how signs work (I’ve included pictures to demonstrate what I’m talking about); I will talk about the veils; I will talk about receiving messages and delivering them; and I will reveal God’s Grace once again, and how He shows His gratitude when we do what He wants us to do. So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (because this is a very long work), and get ready to be amazed! God is powerful. God is just. God is sincere. God makes a promise and shows His mercy and delivers once we complete our vows and/or the missions that He requests from us. Learning to listen is key!

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‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
  
 a bird flies when its free
 it stagnates
in captivity
 its colors blossom
in variety
 fading in ambiguity
 ‒plucking them out
in atrocity
  
 in nature...the act in free‒
 all the same
in its facility
 a trapping technicality
 ‒being free has its complexity
  
 as a woman
in her diplomacy
 giving true
to her effeminacy
 when treated
with significancy
  
 when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
 she falls into compliancy
 even in another's complacency
 giving up her self-sufficiency
 even her style in flossy
 being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
  
 as it goes...comes the decadency
 becoming aware
of the deficiency
 –a broken down fallacy
 as she meets each exigency
  
 outward...comes her adamancy
 as gone goes her sexy
 –an inward building pudency
 her usual controlled diplomacy
 loses its bearing
to rampancy
  
 as goes the controlling austerity
 saving-money hostility
 ‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
  
 attention...gone its notoriety
 even her newly shaped nudity
 once praised with delicacy
 gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
 stripping
all her sexy naughty
 –leaving vagueness
in commonality
  
 lack of interest
opens a familiarity
 once ignoring
so much secrecy
 once ignoring the mendacity
 pulling forward
all its perfidy
 as gone...all her sensuality
 understanding
its diverted generosity
 she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
 –the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
  
 all for giving her free
 to submissive captivity
 for the awakening
of her sexuality!

(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.

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‘Love in Action’

Actions, in spite of resentment, still say LOVE

 Love in Action
  
 no matter the resentment
 it was given then taken
 actions of love
 still...not just a must
but a do
  
 it's all giving
without judgment
 helping without faking
 actions in love
 doing
without needing a clue
  
 it's helping another
without commitment
 being truthful
without manipulation
 actions in love
 doing
for words are not enough
  
 it's getting over
the resentment
 ‒those taking without
returning the give
 actions in love
 still...a beautiful mark
 on the heart
in the making

(April 30, 2019)―Resentment. I’ve written a lot about resentment in Book 12. It’s part of the codependency deal. A codependent will give and give without thinking of themselves and then they begin to resent it because they carry the expectation of being given in return. Of course, the given in return doesn’t happen most of the time. A codependent is a bit fucked up in a sense because of this expectation.

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‘What Comes Out’

Anger: How changing this one emotion can change your entire life!

 What Comes Out
  
 she weighed
the things she's said
 ‒those retaliating words
 she weighed
the things she's done
 thinking it all hard love
 but it was anger
 ‒acting out
over another's danger
  
 what makes you do
these things?
  
 she pondered the question
 the only answer: retaliation
 she bowed her head
in confession
 responding to those living
in secret
 putting her in the dark...deeper
  
 she weighed
her lost of control
 ‒all man things took their toll
 grabbing at her in hold
 her...letting it all
use her in bold
  
 anger's put her in the red
 shaped thoughts in head
 then actions without thought
 knowing the wrong
in every heart beat
 then came further heat
  
 she weighed
all these things
 knowing too late always rings
 seeking truth
sets off anger in sing
 it's her life
not just some fling
  
 she sighed just a bit
thinking these things
 anger's become a distraction
 at times
giving satisfaction
 ‒the evil whore's demolition
  
 she bowed her head
in greater confession
 this her greatest sin
 one...with‒ 
she no longer
wants to blend

 control‒ 
a fight she's determined
to win
 ‒using gratitude
from God's† den‒
 the only way to contend
 ‒be put in the light
from way deep within

(April 27, 2019)―There are 2 large garbage cans that came with the house I live in. When we first moved in, they were in the corner of the garage. The side where I park my car. My car door opens up to the wall side of the garage. I have boxes stacked in there, which I never unpacked also on the side where I park my car. About a month ago, we were told by the landlord that we had to clean up the backyard. After the winter, the pine needles and pine cones had added up. So, in order to make my job a little easier, I moved the garbage cans to the side of the house, inside the metal gate. Since, they were out of the way in the garage, I moved over some boxes, which made getting out of my car easier.

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‘Shouldering Damage’

You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness

 
Shouldering Damage
  
 upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
 shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
 –a go-getter
they couldn't take
 she...never wanting‒ 
any kinda hate
 ‒that was never
her intended fate
  ‒she let love lead the way
 ending in heavy price's
to pay
  
 only in moments
she lived in sedate
 all them medical doctors
had to medicate
 she just needed room‒ 
a bit of space
 to grasp the idea
of her body ache
 never using it as an escape
 ‒it hurt...and she was its bait
  
 she knows she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –but others led her to fall
 not caring the damage at all
  
 upon her shoulders‒ 
she wears the cape
 an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
 –emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
 a burning heart
left in saturate
 mixed with anger
lust and hate
 screaming
without intentional berate
 from love
that just couldn't stay
  
 then again‒ 
she let love be her mate
 a heart damaged‒ 
in too many ways
 –again...a turn in obliterate
 a brain burned in uncultivate
 all that damage‒ 
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
 men who couldn't bear
the cape
 of her physical‒ 
being in waste
  
 she knows she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –but others led her to fall
 not caring the damage at all
  
 she now wears‒ 
a suit of armor
from love's mate
 as the heavy scars from fake–
 I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
 builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
 the writer in massive create
  
 she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
 so she shoulders damage
left behind–
 by carelessness
and self hate
 building her rose‒ 
from a destroyer's
intentional state
  
 she knows‒ 
she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –others led her to fall
 not caring
the damage at all
  
 oh! how
she can stand tall–
 she picked herself up
from the fall
 using the rest of her life
in God's hall
 lost to true love's
missed call
 she knows‒ 
she gave it her all
 –it was not her
that caused
the fall!

(April 24, 21019)—I was sent to a heart specialist today. Although I’m 50, I’m always the youngest in the room when it comes to things like this. (I started saying this phrase back in 2013 when I returned to the VA. I was always the youngest in the room back then.) So, I’m sitting there going through Scriptures, keeping my mind occupied. I didn’t want to think about why I was there. Then I got called to the back. A slew of tests were ordered, including a monitor, which I’ll have to wear for a week.

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