‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want thin
then they want fat
first they want blond
then they want black
first they want
a down-with-it bitch
then they want
a church-going chick
first they want
the naught of it
then they want just sit
first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
intelligent and shit
then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want
drama-free tits
then they add the fits
first they want
the sex-driven licks
then they forget how to kiss
first they want real's click
then goes backwards the flips
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒setting confusion's tick
 
it's all the bitch of it
flip, flip, flip
when you're trying
to get a grip
the crap of it...clip
 
old bitches come in to sip
trying to slyly unzip
when down falls
their run-away crib
 
new bitches force in a rip
sending those pussy pics
flirting to get a hit
trying to fill
voids in the flip
 
for a secured woman's commit‒
it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
she doesn't have time to rip
‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

‘Do Your Thing’

When they’re paving the way for another ‘thing’!

A sample from Book 12

  'Do Your Thing'
 
standing still, so rigid
memories return, so rapid  
do your thing
words that seem splendid
once before, becoming frigid
leaving me in stupid
 
words that shouldn't‒
but still stick
like a repeated lick
too afraid to admit‒
concentrating on self's wick
leaves doors open for the slick
 
that's just not it
it's that aged-old skit
played out...without a script
 
distance begins the slit
less hugging, more anger
words constantly in twist
‒making the mind constantly flip
 
there should not be panic
when felt before
this tactic
 
flip, flip, flip
skippy, skip, skip
 
the past's certain mimic
leaves only you in chaotic
breaking your spirit
turning to God for guidance
 
less comes the kisses
every ounce of erotic
disappears in a lick
‒the body is just an it
you become invalid!
time with you, the omit
things get drastic
leaving pure conflict
and you are the reason for it
 
how to be so quiet
when affection‒
you can't even solicit
pushed away...again and again
leaving you frigid
a body drowning
in an unhealthy orbit
 
taking you're the reason
for it
you're not pretty enough
you're too fat, too sad
when...in truth's logic
their argument, distance‒
all part of the already written
transcript
‒no need
to repeat it!
Continue reading “‘Do Your Thing’”

‘Ex-foliate My Soul’

You have to leave others out of ‘self’!

A sample from Book 12

 Ex‒foliate My Soul
 
I still hear the winds blow
I know, still, from and to
the direction it goes
I depend, too much
on human souls
‒directing my emotional role
 
these feet‒
so stuck in muddy ground
I've lost the feelings
of being found
trying to understand
hear...every sound
I've stumbled away
from which I'm bound
 
raise me up, oh Lord†
unclog‒
these maggot-filled holes
rub your sands deeply in‒
pull me out
as you wash away clean
the filth
of this infested bowl
help me again‒
feel fit and lean
where I once had strength
of a lion
‒the sanctuary
of a crystal clear stream
 
enlighten my heart, sweet Jesus†
relight this drive
I so carelessly left behind
enrich my soul
wash away the corrode
so me, in ease, I can stand
on my own two feet
understand words in my heart
having strength to sort
‒without falling apart
 
yes, Lord†, raise my tempo back up
so I can feel, once more
the unstoppable me
‒that pure individual feeling
of being free
without the need
of another's glee
 
I open me up‒
mind, body, soul
I'm, again, letting go
so...whichever the winds blow
matter is not needed
for I'll be free again‒
in the total of
letting go
Continue reading “‘Ex-foliate My Soul’”

‘Frustrated Notions’

Don’t let anyone halt your dreams!

A sample from Book 11

 Frustrated Notions
 
the planes fly
just as they did when I died
‒came back alive
 
music still plays
on the radio
in the same way
as back in the day
when every piece of life
seemed to just go away
 
the sun shines
even in a different state
everything's find
except one‒
a meaning in define
the way...crossing that line
‒the other side
of the rhythm and rhyme
 
plagued in this frustrated notion
a little self-induced commotion
focus on you indication
‒away from all the ramifications
that sunk me in damnation
 
knowing from which it all comes
‒sometimes, stuck in dumb
waiting around‒
dropped bread crumbs
to build an inside beating strum
from some kind of outward drum
that never seems to come
 
this fucked up halt
‒encaged self-provided vault
has it all locked
a walled-up block
as time keeps ticking
on the clock
 
fight, fight, fight
 
it's all there in sight
just one more night
‒do what's right
minus the blight
 
winds still blow
waters still flow
as imagined thoughts flaunt
its desire to haunt
just playing its taunt
 
fight, fight, fight
 
climb that final mountain top
‒don't stop
as planes fly
as the sun shines
as winds blow
as waters flow
‒it's all God's† big show
to the other side
it's time for the ride
feel the second half of life
without any
frustrating tides
Continue reading “‘Frustrated Notions’”

‘Depths of Heart’

Mind your heart or others will not!

A sample from Book 11

 Depths of Heart
 
protecting self‒
not letting any other
put it on a shelf
seems to be utmost important
‒above anything else
 
for in self
happiness lies
rises high
above health
any amount of wealth
‒pulling the heart
out of hell
out of the darkest well
 
for in truth heart dwells
untied from man's inhuman belt
released from whatever shelf
man tries to impel
keeping the heart from melt
‒happiness locked in a cell
 
get out, get out
see yourself‒
way deep inside
where happiness compels
in heart
where it truly swells
Continue reading “‘Depths of Heart’”

‘Thoughts in Suicide’

When you’re driven to the point of wanting to take your life!

A sample from Book 11

 Thoughts in Suicide
 
I sit to write‒
I had a destructive night
one...again...I had to fight
get out, get out
I screamed in shout
then alone I pout
wanting to die
‒these thoughts in suicide
 
I gather the pills
then to the floor
let them spill
then picked up the phone
dialed somewhere
not to feel so alone
 
1-800-273-8255 press 1
my crying's already won
death won't come
I can't forget‒
a promise not moved to undone
 
she waits in my thoughts
the one in memories
brought
the one to the floor
pills fell
myself's destruction
caught
Continue reading “‘Thoughts in Suicide’”

‘Source’

Anxiety created from the fight against codependency!

A sample from Book 11

  Source
 
she waits‒
closes her eyes
breathes deep
‒her face tingles
her heart races
her palms sweat‒
a heat under her skin
rises...coming quick
 
shh...she repeats to herself
 
each sound
each speck of light

builds the burning

she fights
 
shh...again and again
 
don't do it...not again
she begs repeatedly
 
settle down, please
 
begging, begging

the exploding need

building, building
 
forcing her mouth closed
forcing her body steal
‒as tears stream down her face
 
begging, begging
 
can't you see...anyone
can't you see

I'm trying, trying...
my grip is slipping...

 
as she loses control‒
her mouth yells
or her tears fall
‒no matter who's around
down, down, down
she falls
 
back to a child‒
innocent, broken
just for a while
 
'til she regains
strengthens
to go
one more round
in life's paradigm
where between herself
and herself
she fights
 
hoping, hoping
 
the next time‒
she'll steady the line
‒that too often...
breaks her holding-together vine
 
Continue reading “‘Source’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
 
liars seek truth‒
falsifying a life
without any light
 
manipulation...their due
cutting it on cue
‒without noticing
the coming dues
 
their belief‒
trying to convince you
all they do
true, true, true
backing them‒
there are few
 
their spots change
sending you to the loo
oh! what to do?
‒without cursing them, too
 
truth is truth
existing
no half truths
‒it's either all true
or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”

‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

she stood there shaking
what have I done‒
causing this imagined awakening
‒have I forsaken
forgive me, Lord†

ease this hating
 
in her silence
her heart opened
‒a simple token
what truly lived
in this here maiden
 
she watched them all
as the stones began to fall
‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
over and over
coming at her skin‒
little hard balls
 
then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
a mere moment
she recalled
 
the dust settled
her tightly closed eyes opened
upon her dress‒
tiny red splattered drops dribbled
her pain...tiny tickles
what...a blink before
it seemed a fable
 
her fear lifted
was this a gift
her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
‒this she did not know
but the sudden stop
she felt her heart unfold
 
cast your stone‒
if clean...your bones
 
she heard the voice
then the made choice
as all around
stone after stone
hit...not her
but the ground
 
silence remained
she still knelt‒
in blood stains
as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
 
silence...not daring
to lift her head
then a shadow overcame the red
a hand reached out
get up child
a mere whisper without shout
 
strength from Him† came
as her legs rose
her eyes did the same
 
His† light dried her tears
all became so clear
her heart felt clean
in His† eyes...she seen
truth's unending scene
her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
she proclaimed
for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”
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