‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

she stood there shaking
what have I done‒
causing this imagined awakening
‒have I forsaken
forgive me, Lord†

ease this hating
 
in her silence
her heart opened
‒a simple token
what truly lived
in this here maiden
 
she watched them all
as the stones began to fall
‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
over and over
coming at her skin‒
little hard balls
 
then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
a mere moment
she recalled
 
the dust settled
her tightly closed eyes opened
upon her dress‒
tiny red splattered drops dribbled
her pain...tiny tickles
what...a blink before
it seemed a fable
 
her fear lifted
was this a gift
her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
‒this she did not know
but the sudden stop
she felt her heart unfold
 
cast your stone‒
if clean...your bones
 
she heard the voice
then the made choice
as all around
stone after stone
hit...not her
but the ground
 
silence remained
she still knelt‒
in blood stains
as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
 
silence...not daring
to lift her head
then a shadow overcame the red
a hand reached out
get up child
a mere whisper without shout
 
strength from Him† came
as her legs rose
her eyes did the same
 
His† light dried her tears
all became so clear
her heart felt clean
in His† eyes...she seen
truth's unending scene
her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
she proclaimed
for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”

‘Hands to Hold’

Is race going to continue to rule your life?

A sample from Book 10

 Hands to Hold
 
you come at me
you're not discrete
bold...unsure
 
maybe there's a gun in my hand
maybe I've some contraband
 
or maybe I just like hands in pocket
or wearing my earphones in my car
so I can answer this here phone
for this car absent of bluetooth–
protecting me and you
 
or maybe you're angry–
having a bad day
I pass your way
through your veins runs hate
so I become your play
 
I'm just like you‒
generation after generation
passed through
without obligations
to changing the view
 
–it all seems like voodoo
we both–
not really having a clue
‒taking it upon ourselves
get off that dusty shelf
change the view
so our kids
won't suffer too
 
maybe I do have a gun
–anger raging in stun
do you see inside of me
my hard history
maybe my hand shakes
though you can't see
–you're so angry
not seeing what's at stake
 
maybe I did some drugs–
stopping the pain
keeping from going insane
but soothing I didn't gain
all looks like a game
emotions adding to more pain
 
then you come along
thinking I'm a thug
you want to cut me down‒
stump me like a bug
without knowing the deal at home
why I'm here–
a gun...all alone
 
maybe don't yell
talk...love–
let it swell
 
instead of jail–
lead my soul to help
without making me
hate myself
 
I, too, want peace
between you and me
 
maybe instead of arrogance‒
show understanding
compassion
 
I don't want a free ride
just a reason...inside
not to cry
 
I am tough
I've got muscles, tats
my life has been rough
–crazy and all that
it doesn't mean
I'm just stuff
to pluck
 
a handshake
a hug
 
–that just might be
enough
 
I'm a human being
I don't mean to sting
 
just a little bitter
please, your anger–
could you reconsider
 
look at me for me
God's† child
making my way...like you
through the miles
 
–the past is gone
this is now
together–
we can make it all
worth while
if we just remain calm–
approach each other
in mild
without death coming in foul
Continue reading “‘Hands to Hold’”

‘Troubled Soul’

Other people’s issues are not yours!

A sample from Book 9

  Troubled Soul
 
your mixed personality
doesn't blend with reality
 
your verbal kindness
doesn't add to
your stalking rudeness
 
returning to reality
‒stripping all vulnerability
takes...taking responsibility‒
actions of self
before experiencing life...truly
 
changing personalities
doesn't insure securities
needed‒
to strengthen possibilities
 
living in denial
mile after mile‒
brings the mind
to crash
heading south‒
once there
‒getting there
you can only ask...how
 
take a look inside
your round and round ride
‒a mind in hide
never subsides
'til you stop for a while
sink in like a child‒
all your wounds...untie
 
open that book
given by God†
look deep...deep into your I
write down your whys
all that pain
bringing you to hide‒
all those cries
 
all those ancient words‒
so many have heard
let them be your guide
it takes time
 
people won't untie‒
all those knots inside
‒admittance...of self
the help of only God†‒
your only needed drive
way...way deep inside
‒then He'll† show you
how to fly
without you‒
having to ask why
Continue reading “‘Troubled Soul’”

‘Laughing Smile’

God wants us happy. Evil wants us sad! You do the math!

A sample from Book 9

 Laughing Smile
 
it took her a while
breaking open that smile–
gaining the strongest need
laugh...laugh like a child
 
she didn't need to ask how–
she lifted her heart to God†
walked long, long miles
for that laughing smile
 
she sealed it...inside
bringing it out
when gone was her doubt
 
no, she didn't have to shout
she learned to keep her head
in the clouds
forgetting
what frowns were about
–just laugh...yes she did
out loud
 
she had it down-pat
that girly laugh
–adding a bit of sass
you do the math–
she intended for it to last
not caring
where she was at
at anyone
came that laughing sass–
smiling so big
walking
shaking her ass
 
she knew that surety
came straight
from the Lord†
she didn't have to ask
what for
she just knew
she was worthy
 
then this thunder came
bringing her to lame
her truthfulness
remaining the same
fighting off
anger's vengeful flame
as her world
tipped its bowl
a once.again fold–
that place
she promised herself
she wouldn't go
 
she didn't choose the fold
it just slide
in to corrode
sinking its stronghold–
not letting go
 
burying
in an inside rage
she...again
locked herself in a cage
 
patiently she began to wait
living a bit sedate
wondering...why so late
that smile on her face
 
then there it was...gleaming
like in a summer's dream
waiting there
to be redeemed
 
she didn't think twice
remembering how it felt
so real, so right
she didn't really fight
she just walked
the way of the light
 
its uncertainty remains–
her holding onto it
a bit of a strain
struggling through the rain
that comes with pain
 
it did take her a while
breaking open that smile–
regaining that need
to laugh
laugh like a child
 
the first time
the second time
she didn't need to ask how
so she did again–
lift her heart to God†
taking on long, long miles
–for it's always worth the wait
for that laughing smile
Continue reading “‘Laughing Smile’”

‘Knowing is Living’

Don’t be afraid to follow your heart!

A sample from Book 7

 Knowing is Living
 
if you're stuck
at a place
know
there's reason
for your stay
 
the longer you wait
‒longer you'll suffocate
look deep in your face
beyond flesh and bone‒
beyond memories you chase
beyond hurt
you want to erase
beyond a past
that did not last
 
deeper you must go
for life
again
to flow
 
it's no one's race
but your own
 
when you're at
a constant steadfast
there's something
way down deep
you must surpass
something to grasp
‒learn
so a future
you can earn
 
stop complaining
living in emptiness
look at self
get off the damn shelf
you again
build
all else
seal
 
beyond face
look deeper
reveal your hidden secret
bloom
open your eyes
see
your new life is ready
waiting‒
‒a steady, slow pace
for you to take
nothing's at stake
but self
your inside wealth
listen...hear
for you've already earned
what in your heart
burns
your fruits‒
it's all up to you
Continue reading “‘Knowing is Living’”

‘Veiling of Truth’

Speak Your Truth or Live in Captivity!

A sample from Book 7

 Veiling of Truth
 
we start off life
slow–
like a snail
 
taking each moment
as it comes
giving ourselves
time to breathe
 
inhale
exhale
 
we're young...vibrant
over anything
we're champions
we have mentors
–someone always there
 
pushing us
tormenting us
encouraging us
criticizing us
 
it doesn't matter–
we feel invincible
–strength
in our youthful hearts
gives us one desire
over anything
we can prevail
 
so we take chances
we jump fences
crawl through tunnels
see life
as a simple funnel
 
when we're derailed
we take a moment–
wail
giving ourselves
time to breathe
 
inhale
exhale
 
we get back on the rail
sail
 
then life tips the scale
–half-way point
where all just stops
we're pushed over the top
 
we try to sail
to no avail
we start to see
–the slow coveting veil
the part of us
for others we curtailed
 
bit by bit–
small pieces of our being
we willingly retailed
leaving us
feeling alone and stale
 
it's at that moment
no longer wanting
to feel frail
wanting instead
again to breathe
 
inhale
exhale
 
taking from our legs
our tucked-in tail
revealing...opening
this perfectly placed veil
 
it's at that moment
we explode
our outpouring gale
see me, hear me
I'm not for sale
 
opening our truth
putting ourselves
in plain view
screaming out loud
this is what I'm about
 
it's at that moment
when life tips its scale
all is unveiled
we see every detail
 
who impaled
who drove the nail
 
ourselves
 
we chose to lower the veil
we signed our own
bill of sale
 
it's at that moment
–tipping the scale
our truth
to unveil
get back on the rail
over our own injustice
prevail
Continue reading “‘Veiling of Truth’”

”Secret’ No More!’

Their Play Is All the Same!

A sample from Book 9

 'Secret' No More!
 
the cat's out the bag
 
on the surface‒
I no longer scratch
‒don't want to sound
like a hag
not even a nag
but I'm done
playing this little game
of tag
 
I no longer want
the jab‒
that sneaky, sly syntax
keeping me in a corner
my existence entrapped
secrets over nightcaps
 
for so long
at it
I merely laughed
playing along‒
this hidden
out-of-sight craft
 
for so long
I fell into its path
to feel barely half
of a lover's swag
 
not any more
do these eyes sag
I now see
the repeated red flags
 
here they are‒
if you want to keep track
here they are‒
if your eyes
are stuck in lack:
 
away from public view‒
begins
the slow, gentle snatch
 
text this, text that

a hi here
a hey there
even the wyd flair
 
then the ignore
playing-with-the-mind anthrax's
added-on little snap
 
maybe a phone call or two‒
avoiding a bit of snag
 
(the now understood common trap)
 
oh! how texting does that
 
‒just a tiny dab
the get-what-they-want hatch
 
turning texting to sexting
in a flash
 
then sit back...relax
as she falls in the trap
her mind...now attacked
with a little zap‒
man-ego-driven
mind-boggling witchcraft
sealed and wrapped‒
one-sided—playing-out wrath
 
sexting‒
the perfect-controlling telegraph
 
then comes
the moving-on slow raft
to get that big splash
‒adding to their stash
images behind
a monitored glass
 
a little skin
in flash
with some sexy sass
 
the building in pizzazz
wanting more
of that flabbergast
 
building, building
téte-a-téte
 
then veiled in a masque‒
when questions invade
the on-and-off going chitchat‒
 
a quickened spat
back to the ignoring splat‒
ego...alive and well
in combat
 
'til comes that final blast
flesh to unmask
an act in diplomat
making her feel all that‒
the sexy little kitty cat
 
‒the play in chat
becomes
an in-the-flesh transact
 
good or bad‒
putting her in abstract
continued words on a pad‒
her mind to distract
rather hijacked
from their away-from-her
reality fact‒
 
she's not the only lass‒
their on-going sexting hack
blatant ways in acrobat‒
that and this
this and that
 
'til her avoided questions
forces a react‒
 
why not spend time with me
why the constant disappearing act

 
she innocently asks
wanting beyond
the sexual wrap‒
wanting out of secret's
hidden tap
 
the continued avoiding lap
puts her mind
in wondering's rasp
 
all-stop...hold
goes the lit glass‒
with no returned téte-a-téte
or to-the-door dash
or a together attach
nor explanations to patch
or synchronizing photographs
not even a social-media match
 
her mind opens up‒
I've seen all that
recognizing perfectly
the plotted graph
 
experience, experience
the exact-patterned zigzag
she's once again caught
knowings in fact‒
 
their intentions
won't go
any further than that
 
for her unanswered questions
suspicions‒
her experiences in reasoning
reality's opened-up rap‒
 
she's just one of many cats
in their secret's rattrap
 
‒with all these red flags
no need for a polygraph
I don't even need an ax
or a wiretap
not even some mindless booby-trap
 
just a sentence or two‒
seeing through the claptrap
then sit back
watch the unwrap‒
 
innocence offers a laugh
 
let's fix this hash
to you...I want to holdfast
let's have a blast
out in the open

'let's make our splash
 
guilt opens up the wrath
 
a shutting-down fast
placing-blame lash
social-media delete
the final smash‒
the secret
given the shaft
 
no longer do I fly half-mast
no longer am I the secret
in stash
 
yes, the red flags
seen in perfect format
 
I'm no spoiled brat
not even
lost in over-react
 
this kitty cat
just knows where it's at
 
I'm more than just a paragraph‒
a secret in scraps
 
I'm all or nothing
an out-in-the-open en masse
willing to adapt
with another walking
the same path
Continue reading “”Secret’ No More!’”

When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!

This one sergeant in my Army days in Germany called me Marie Laveau…lol…another one bites the dust! One of them will be strong enough to handle my energy some day. If they can let go of their pride long enough. I’ve had enough of man-ego-pride to last a life time.

Continue reading “When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!”

‘Unshattering’

‘Unshatter’ Who Others Want You To Be!

A sample from Book 9

 Unshattering
 
don't look at me
–your indifference
don't say you know me
–a casual acquaintance
don't try to control me
–words are just cadence
don't think you have me
–trivial acceptance
 
all things of me–
–piece after piece
glued, sewn, stapled...rebuilt
whatever it took–
rekindled this book
 
take a good, hard look–
whatever I could
not caring...if I should
nor daring...if I would
 
it's all just burned wood
reasons understood–
renewing me
back to peace
–a whole lot of free
this place
I can just be
 
don't come at me
thinking
you'll change me
 
this unshattering of me
took time, deeds
please, please, please
of others' reprieve
–to undo
the beating of me
 
secrets aren't hidden from me
through your swirling sea
clearly I see
–it's so easy
to flee
without missing
one beat
 
go on...see
in a breeze
I'll swerve
I know what I deserve
 
no longer...this me
covered in ego's dirt
no, no...I'm in free
I'll easily flirt
test the waters
–even in the deepest of curves
avoid pride's careless surf
'cause I can, you see
 
no longer...this heart beat
buried in condition's thirst
me...you cannot convert
aware, I am
this value in worth
the whole of me–
 
a choosing little tweet
–accept me
–go on
the street...beat
 
in choice...I'm free
no longer sufferings in need‒
living carefree
in wanting desires of please
–the truth of me
who I'm meant to be
Continue reading “‘Unshattering’”

‘Salvation’s Need’

To Deny Others Is To Deny God!

 Salvation's Need
 
test after test
I have failed
my 360
to the cross...nailed
You† brought people to me
in their time of weak
‒salvation
I failed to help them seek
 
instead, I buried them deep
words from my mouth
did seep
actions
I didn't allow to creep
in self
I curled up in weep
 
my time has come and sailed
out of all of it
I tend to bail
turning my back
not wanting to see
how another's picture
on them...creeps
I just give up and flee
 
whatever awakens
this ignorance of me
strip it
take it from me
strengthen me
help me to see
keep me from feeling sorry
lost in self pity
 
Lord†, this part of me
that lived unselfishly
I lost
please return it to me
without this lumpy throat
from way down deep
without fears and anxiety
help me open my mouth
speak
in words of calm
humility, peace
without selfish
insecurities
Continue reading “‘Salvation’s Need’”