Codependency – Page 2

‘Traces in Forgive’

The Lie: Destroys. Steals. Kills. You decide!

A sample from Book 9

 Traces in Forgive
  
 she felt its trace
sweet word's lace
 soft-spoken based
 deep inside- 
yes...she felt its trace
  
 sneaking up inside
like a burning desire
 
 give it
let it live

 as her sixth sense
stood the fence
  
 no, no, no
it's all a show
  
 face after face
 encountering
same's constant date
 lies, deception, betray
 nothing real
stands behind
words in say
  
 she bows her head
thinking of words said
  
 why this careless play
why not just go away
  
 then tears cry
not for self–
 as in her bed
she lies
 –but for souls
behind her tries
 –their coming day
 served on a self-made
imagined silver-lined tray
  
 karma
its coming arena
 choices in free-will
 consequences- 
already sealed
  
 in her bowed stance
she dances her dance
 –for them
solemn in pray
 nothing more to say
 for truth
all they had to do–
 say it
-her total
  
 I forgive you
  
 washing it
all away
  
 now...just in self
to give
 forgive
without them ever knowing
 –her never willing
in showing
 her forever hiding
her deepness
 in always loving
 as they live
in the continue of dying
  
 as she moves
forward in free
  
 even if she meets
the Lord first
  
 in her bowed stance
knowing truth
 they'll still be in fool
 drooling in thirst
seeking free
 without ever
having the joy of it
in see

‘Spaces of Real’

That place where you are no longer hurting!

A sample from Book 7

 Spaces of Real
  
 where do you fit in
 when you're searching
for truth
 –all seems a flute
  
 when you're pushing– 
revealing all you do
 just to get through
  
 when you talk to God†
 –each day
 just getting by
 wondering
how
this day
you survived
  
 knowing
because of someone else
 tears you try
not to cry
  
 over anger
you become
a hardened manager
 wondering
what it is
 that's
lost inside of you
  
 yes, where do you fit in
 –this society of fake
 lost in its self-absorbed wake
  
 when men are weak
 constantly
searching
 something always better
they seek
  
 hanging you out to dry
 without reasons of why
  
 leaving you
constantly
searching
 for spaces of real
 where there's no reason
to conceal
 what's truly hiding
deep inside

‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
  
 I'm an apparent suicide
 who took
everything buried inside
 ‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
  
 they call it a homicide
 raging words
was all it took
 for love to dry
 ‒leaving only tears
to cry
  
 slowly I died
 asking every kind of why
  
 why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
  
 why my truth
was reason
 my life
 ‒its very existence
to hide
  
 my being
no longer resides
 in hearts
I believed
could override
 evil's prancing stride
  
 they all cast me aside
 for thoughts...words
 I could no longer
hold inside
  
 instead of holding me
 as these eyes cried
they buried me
 ‒an unmarked grave
 deep outside
   with bugs and flies

‘Veiling of Truth’

Speak Your Truth or Live in Captivity!

A sample from Book 7

 Veiling of Truth
  
 we start off life
 slow–
like a snail
  
 taking each moment
as it comes
 giving ourselves
time to breathe
  
 inhale
exhale
  
 we're young...vibrant
 over anything
we're champions
 we have mentors
 –someone always there
  
 pushing us
tormenting us
 encouraging us
criticizing us
  
 it doesn't matter– 
we feel invincible
 –strength
in our youthful hearts
 gives us one desire
 over anything
we can prevail
  
 so we take chances
 we jump fences
crawl through tunnels
 see life
as a simple funnel
  
 when we're derailed
 we take a moment– 
wail
 giving ourselves
time to breathe
  
 inhale
 exhale
  
 we get back on the rail
sail
  
 then life tips the scale
 –half-way point
where all just stops
 we're pushed over the top
  
 we try to sail
to no avail
 we start to see
 –the slow coveting veil
 the part of us
for others we curtailed
  
 bit by bit– 
small pieces of our being
 we willingly retailed
 leaving us
feeling alone and stale
  
 it's at that moment
 no longer wanting
to feel frail
 wanting instead
again to breathe
  
 inhale
exhale
  
 taking from our legs
our tucked-in tail
 revealing...opening
this perfectly placed veil
  
 it's at that moment
 we explode
our outpouring gale
 see me, hear me
I'm not for sale
  
 opening our truth
 putting ourselves
in plain view
 screaming out loud
this is what I'm about
  
 it's at that moment
 when life tips its scale
 all is unveiled
we see every detail
  
 who impaled
who drove the nail
  
 ourselves
  
 we chose to lower the veil
 we signed our own
bill of sale
  
 it's at that moment
 –tipping the scale
 our truth
to unveil
get back on the rail
 over our own injustice
prevail

‘Unshattering’

‘Unshatter’ Who Others Want You To Be!

A sample from Book 9

 Unshattering
  
 don't look at me
 –your indifference
 don't say you know me
 –a casual acquaintance
 don't try to control me
 –words are just cadence
 don't think you have me
 –trivial acceptance
  
 all things of me– 
 –piece after piece
 glued, sewn, stapled...rebuilt
 whatever it took– 
rekindled this book
  
 take a good, hard look– 
whatever I could
 not caring...if I should
 nor daring...if I would
  
 it's all just burned wood
reasons understood–
 renewing me
back to peace
 –a whole lot of free
 this place
I can just be
  
 don't come at me
 thinking
you'll change me
  
 this unshattering of me
took time, deeds
 please, please, please
of others' reprieve
 –to undo
the beating of me
  
 secrets aren't hidden from me
 through your swirling sea
clearly I see
 –it's so easy
to flee
 without missing
one beat
  
 go on...see
in a breeze
I'll swerve
 I know what I deserve
  
 no longer...this me
covered in ego's dirt
 no, no...I'm in free
 I'll easily flirt
test the waters
 –even in the deepest of curves
 avoid pride's careless surf
'cause I can, you see
  
 no longer...this heart beat
 buried in condition's thirst
 me...you cannot convert
 aware, I am
this value in worth
 the whole of me–
  
 a choosing little tweet
 –accept me
 –go on
the street...beat
  
 in choice...I'm free
 no longer sufferings in need‒
 living carefree
in wanting desires of please
 –the truth of me
   who I'm meant to be

‘Salvation’s Need’

To Deny Others Is To Deny God!

 Salvation's Need
  
 test after test
I have failed
 my 360
to the cross...nailed
 You† brought people to me
 in their time of weak
 ‒salvation
I failed to help them seek
  
 instead, I buried them deep
 words from my mouth
did seep
 actions
I didn't allow to creep
 in self
I curled up in weep
  
 my time has come and sailed
 out of all of it
I tend to bail
 turning my back
not wanting to see
 how another's picture
on them...creeps
 I just give up and flee
  
 whatever awakens
this ignorance of me
 strip it
take it from me
 strengthen me
help me to see
 keep me from feeling sorry
lost in self pity
  
 Lord†, this part of me
 that lived unselfishly
 I lost
please return it to me
 without this lumpy throat
from way down deep
 without fears and anxiety
 help me open my mouth
speak
 in words of calm
humility, peace
without selfish
insecurities

‘Codependent’

The Codependent: Make Yourself Happy First!

A sample from Book 6

 Codependent
  
 I've tried to help
 in ways
that didn't help
  
 I've said yes
then no
to my self
  
 I've avoided
hurting others
 only to hurt myself
  
 to trust my own feelings
 I've been afraid
  
 I've believed lies
 then betrayed-
I often felt
  
 I wanted to get even
punish others
 for putting me
on a shelf
  
 I often
became smothered
 in anger and hate
 -wanting to kill
not feeling safe
  
 I've fought
for others' rights
 when they didn't know
how the law swayed
 only to be left
alone
 like an abandoned stray
  
 I've often settled
for others' worth
 -left my own
to grow another day
  
 I became
the reaction
 to others' anger and hate
 instead of listening to self
 walking my own way
  
 I became
less of me
 for others
to be set free
  
 I've lost myself
to dependency
 on how others felt
 without seeing
my own need
 to be free
   to be just me

‘Silence of Me’

You Tend To Hang On. It’s Normal.

A sample from Book 5

 Silence of Me
  
 I look at me
I hear me
 wishing
I wouldn't be
hurting
 I ruffled the sea
this romantic bee
 twisting
words I see
 wanting
to be free
 saying
it's better for me
 misrepresenting
what
I want to be
 just you
I do see
 putting
all thoughts
free
 relating
what's
inside of me
 hoping
you'd see
confusion's deed
 all that I aim to be
all that I use to be
 my wanting
to be free
inside of me
 there's more to see
the outside sea
 wanting
you along side of me
open and free
 awakening
what used to be
  
 look at me
hear me
 all there is to be
  
 a wall closed to me
burying me
 deep
inside of me
silence of me
 wishing
I wouldn't be

‘The Experience’

Your Anger Turns to Lust to Move You!

A sample from Book 5

 The Experience
  
 I'm your past
I'm what
didn't last
 I'm what
could
never last
  
 I'm the passing blast
 to move through
really fast
 with the quickness
of a kisser's dash
  
 I'm the wine glass
wearing a mask
 making
my on-stop splash
  
 I'm your past
leaving you
in a gasp
 easily slipping
from your grasp
 in your mind
thoughts are cast
 in my heart
the debris
of a failed lover's task

‘Yelled Sarcasm’

5 Ways to Heal ‘Self’ from Abuse and Trauma

 Yelled Sarcasm
  
 speaking out of turn
 oh! how this heart burns
  
 this once gentle character
stripped
 each time a tone of voice
tips
  
 gone the plow
that once endured
 for this ache!
there is no cure
  
 once betrayed
bitterness lays
 honesty...only the heart craves
  
 that forever solid pace
yearned
 ‒left with only discern
  
 out the heart‒
emotions...flipped
 drops of dimes‒
where truth is clipped
  
 all smells like week-old manure
 ‒nothing left that's pure
  
 seconds, minutes, hours‒
turn to days
 as what was‒
gets lost in a bitter haze

Category: Codependency

‘Traces in Forgive’

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‘Spaces of Real’

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‘Pillars of Death’

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‘Veiling of Truth’

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‘Unshattering’

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‘Salvation’s Need’

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‘Codependent’

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‘Silence of Me’

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‘The Experience’

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‘Yelled Sarcasm’

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