You are worth every bit of struggle. It is up to you to take those struggles and help others with theirs. That’s the meaning of being the body and Jesus† being the head. He† is with you. Never forget that!
Undo What's Done
you are His† son
a tiny dot of sun‒
that can wage wars
beneath the stars
from so close
yet so far
I feel it all‒
deep inside
‒you have
what it takes
undo what's done
‒show the world
your sum
you are His† son
larger than life
cut by a knife
bleeding deep‒
from the inside
‒throw it, throw it
far from your outside
grow outward‒
don't hide
prove to Him†
you are more‒
than just a son
‒you are a light
shining
from a darkened sun
(Written September 25, 2019)
Understanding depression and the veils by-way of Job!
Men of Songs
I thrash out my complaints
I take the hurt, the blame
put it all on my shoulders‒
knowing
through all this rough terrain
not one showed sincerity
not one came
so I let tears fall
like rain
open my mouth
my worded train
feeling alone, empty
worthless...plain
wondering if I'm really insane
I cast out my stones to You†
‒Your† broken little dame
all these tasks
my life...so drained
not knowing the final aim
just take it all in‒
the arrows of false names
on invisible ropes...I hang
told...life is but a game
learn to play it...you win fame
You† and I know‒
that's not how it's framed
life isn't at all a game
You†...no one can tame
someone so righteous‒
You† easily cast in flames
and that person
will never be the same
when this heart
feels weak in faint
I look at all my I can'ts
I re-hear all those filthy names
know...none of them...I ain't
but I know‒
I'm such a tiny piece of grain
and the only fame
to be claimed
is that of Your† sweet, sweet name
I'm so, so tired
of being maimed
so tired of lonely's strain
what have I gained
on this hateful, lonely lane
I know it's part of Jesus'†
each and every vein
I'm so weary...feelings‒
my work done in vane
so, I call on you...Jesus†
please take all my complaints
straight to our Father†
‒pull me out
this agonizing drain
forgive all my trespasses
turn me over‒
to at least one heart
who feels the same
‒a bit of hunger
a bit of tame
to do works of good‒
in Your† sweet, sweet name
(July 24, 2019)—Our mothers. Veils. Mercy. I’ve been having a hard time putting my thoughts on paper lately. It may not seem like it but it’s still true. I end up writing it in my head then when I sit down, the same thoughts that I had don’t come out. I didn’t want to write anymore. For the past week or so, I’ve been in a battle with my self I guess you could say. I’m tired. I’ve been doing this work for seven years now. I’ve been writing and teaching and learning for over 10. I’m tired. But I’m to keep going.
Continue reading “‘Men of Songs’”The truth of planting seeds by-way of Jeremiah! It’s time for hurting to take the personal responsibility to heal.
Solitary Confinement
they're out there enjoying life
those who lied and betrayed
while she sits in silence
waiting for her time
they all believe the opposite
of what is true
they are all blinded in fool
while her tears cause her to drool
praying...her inward tool
for being condemned
doing what she was supposed to do
all abandoned her
deciding to judge
where no judgment was due
pitying her–
where no pitying was due
so she accepts the cross
‒knowing full well...who's in charge
in the waves of other's flaws
like a rage doll...she was tossed
but her hopes
stayed with the light
their insecurities
weren't even her fight
in her eyes
she just watched their blight
screamed at them
in her troubled fight
thinking it was her right
standing up for herself
against the night
those suffering for lack of insight
in only the Lord†
can things ever be right
yes, she watched...screamed
with all her might
years of blight‒
but it was never her fight
‒she was already in the light
so she waits...sometimes in cry
accepting the silence
her temporary confinement
for ever lasting enlightenment
as those who suffer inside
play with false lives
on the outside
‒the lost coveting what they lost
concealing in lies...lost
not knowing what it means
to take it to the cross
yes, they condemn her, judge her
placing her in depressed...lost
when all the while‒
what they refused to see
she was always a faithful child
of the Boss†!
(July 23, 2019)—There’s a lot going on but little of nothing. What’s taking place in my life is not on the outside per say. I never really knew what was meant by Spiritual Awakening. To be honest, I thought it was all a bunch of crap. But I could never deny the things I’ve experienced when it came to the spiritual world. All the experiences I’ve written about in My 12-Book Series, well, they actually happened. Everything I’m experiencing now…it’s actually happening. It’s not in my mind, or some crazy deal. I think this is the part that separates the spiritual realm from the rest of the world. People go to church every day all around the world, but they really don’t understand what they are hearing or reading about because so much is left out of those preachings.
Continue reading “‘Solitary Confinement’”God patiently awaits for you to choose by-way of Zechariah! The 4th message to you ‘Today’s Society’. It’s up to you to listen!
A Waiting Maze
He's† not going to help
what you can do yourself
be wise, full of zeal
each other...truth...tell
don't condemn your brother
stay clear and calm of harm
evil...raise alarms
don't buy into charm
recognize...yes, recognize
what's in disguise
your responsibility
your turn to be wise
see through lies
it's time to stop the randomize
heal those traumatized
‒save them from lies
there's no such thing as elves
‒must believe in self
feelings for another...felt
in order for you to help
you've wasted enough time
draw that much needed line
understand...the Divine†
before it's too late
to even try
(July 18, 2019)—I didn’t want to write anymore. Well, I got two today. The first ‘A Waiting Maze’ and Zechariah! The second ‘Hold Them Hard!’ and Ezekiel! Again…this is all concerning today’s society!
The Scripture I was led to this morning is about the Jews building the temple. This is during Haggai’s mission…some time around 520 B.C. This was NOT why I was lead to this. A theme starting in ‘Orchestrated Part’ and it is continuing…almost every 2 days. So, I’m going with it.
Continue reading “‘A Waiting Maze’”Testimony: One of God’s messengers. Saying YES to the Big Man Upstairs…no matter what! My 4-year journey for love, no matter the consequences!
Testing Will
He† knows me deep within
He† knows I'd give in
then...feel the guilt of sin
He† held me
within this evil den
all along–
as I felt alone and abandoned
as I cried and cried
struggling, fighting
–evil's bid to win
four years in this brethren
a feel of insanity's hymn
negative thoughts...pounding
smothered in foreign emotions
evil aware of the reason
–knowing
the purpose of my season
sometimes
losing it without praying
lost in extreme's commotion
at me...came every explanation
learning my self
in its manipulation
evil tried to win
it tried everything
digging its teeth within
my angels were fighting
holding me in their wings
'til I was in delivering
–my will weakening...strengthening
a day-to-day variation
–wanting it all to end
this sixth sense
gave its warning
the stay kept on coming
along with each
secretive manifestation
in hiding
as anxiety and panic
kept attacking
my self-esteem
furiously stripping
burying me in ignoring
playing in my sexuality–
what was left
of its intention
through emotional baiting
fight's annihilation
this dizzying world
kept me sinking
'til my hands
living in jittering
my eyes...blurring, drying
my hair in constant falling
my weight in agonizing gaining
my chest in heavy palpitations
my body lost
in fatigue's aggravation
my mind fighting negative
horrid inventions
my mouth became
acid's salutation
from yelling, screaming
foul annotations
to a vicious appeal
in chanting
I held on tight
to the calling
knowing...soon...it was ending
pleading and begging
praying and sleeping
dreaming and imagining
–holding on to
the coming glorification
packing and moving
God's† quick verification
to do it
even through questioning, doubting
–it all wasn't fabrication
or some childish exaggeration
but a purposeful delivering intention
–a message coming through....
fighting evil's blocking mechanism
for a soul in saving
me: a favor in returning
as God's† hardened instrumentation
I took it in breaking
codependency's formulation
–holding on tight
to God's† coming verification
all...
leading to enlightening, awakening
a coming out
spiritual connection
(June 13-July 6, 2019)―In this article: I will recap some events that led up to today where I’m sitting; I will show and explain how numbers work when it comes to messages and I will show how signs work (I’ve included pictures to demonstrate what I’m talking about); I will talk about the veils; I will talk about receiving messages and delivering them; and I will reveal God’s Grace once again, and how He shows His gratitude when we do what He wants us to do. So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (because this is a very long work), and get ready to be amazed! God is powerful. God is just. God is sincere. God makes a promise and shows His mercy and delivers once we complete our vows and/or the missions that He requests from us. Learning to listen is key!
Continue reading “‘Testing Will’”Have you answered God’s call? He’s waiting on you!
His† Pickup
I talk to the air
pretending someone's there
–it's only fair
since no one sees
how I comb my hair
I go for days, weeks
in this brave affair
feeling angels everywhere
then I fall to despair
acknowledging
no one's really there
wondering
if anyone really cares
I go until I can't
my hand to face in cry–
this isn't fair
too long I've been waiting
for the care
working, doing
wanting someone truly there
but...just surrounds me
thin air
I get completely lost
in this temporary despair
then...comfort arrives
out of thin air
I was pushed back
and about to fall,
but the Lord† helped me.
the Lord† is my strength
and my song;
He has become
my salvation.
revealing there's someone there
someone who truly cares
waiting, fighting there
waiting to become fully
before the Lord...bare
dealing in past affairs
–having courage to dare
shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents
of the righteous;
the Lord's† right hand
has done mighty things!
the Lord's† right hand
is lifted high;
the Lord's† right hand
has done mighty things!
victory is every where
I can feel I in the air
I will not die but live,
and will proclaim
what the Lord† has done.
the Lord† has chastened me severely,
but He† has not given me
over to death.
I know all won't be lost
in despair
I know there will be saved
so many little hairs
so I basked in this empty air
as...taking place
the attended affairs
open for me
the gates of righteousness;
I will enter
and give thanks to the Lord†.
this is the gate of the Lord†
through which
the righteous may enter.
I will give You† thanks
for You† answered me;
You† have become my salvation.
all things will be fair
as comes...the perfect affair
the stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;
the Lord† has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
this is the day the Lord† has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
seeing truth...so there
I anticipate
with welcoming flair
I know this heart I wear
–out of pure despair
comes a star's brilliant glare
o Lord†, save us;
o Lord†, grant us success.
blessed is he who comes
in the name of the Lord†.
from the house of the Lord†
we bless you.
the Lord† is God†,
and He† has made His† light
shine upon us.
with boughs in hand
join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar
in bowed head...I do declare
life is as it should be–
it's not in the tear
but in the solid of repair
that God† reveals
His† humble stare
You† are my God†
and I will give You† thanks;
You† are my God†
and I will exalt You†.
give thanks to the Lord†
for He† is good;
His† love endures forever.—psalm 118
(July 5, 2019)—I haven’t written in a while…been busy with the testimony of my recent events, which has proven not difficult, but more of a soul-searching deal that’s taking me nearing over a month now to work on. It’s okay. I have plenty time. There’s never a rush for things these days. In due time, they do come. But I have been working diligently and long hours. I went to bed at 5 a.m. this morning and woke up at around noon to people asking me if I felt the earthquake. No. I’ve been busy.
Continue reading “‘His Pickup’”Don’t change your independent self because of another person.
Channel
a bird flies when its free
it stagnates
in captivity
its colors blossom
in variety
fading in ambiguity
‒plucking them out
in atrocity
in nature...the act in free‒
all the same
in its facility
a trapping technicality
‒being free has its complexity
as a woman
in her diplomacy
giving true
to her effeminacy
when treated
with significancy
when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
she falls into compliancy
even in another's complacency
giving up her self-sufficiency
even her style in flossy
being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
as it goes...comes the decadency
becoming aware
of the deficiency
–a broken down fallacy
as she meets each exigency
outward...comes her adamancy
as gone goes her sexy
–an inward building pudency
her usual controlled diplomacy
loses its bearing
to rampancy
as goes the controlling austerity
saving-money hostility
‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
attention...gone its notoriety
even her newly shaped nudity
once praised with delicacy
gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
stripping
all her sexy naughty
–leaving vagueness
in commonality
lack of interest
opens a familiarity
once ignoring
so much secrecy
once ignoring the mendacity
pulling forward
all its perfidy
as gone...all her sensuality
understanding
its diverted generosity
she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
–the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
all for giving her free
to submissive captivity
for the awakening
of her sexuality!
(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.
Continue reading “‘Channel’”Anger: How changing this one emotion can change your entire life!
What Comes Out
she weighed
the things she's said
‒those retaliating words
she weighed
the things she's done
thinking it all hard love
but it was anger
‒acting out
over another's danger
what makes you do
these things?
she pondered the question
the only answer: retaliation
she bowed her head
in confession
responding to those living
in secret
putting her in the dark...deeper
she weighed
her lost of control
‒all man things took their toll
grabbing at her in hold
her...letting it all
use her in bold
anger's put her in the red
shaped thoughts in head
then actions without thought
knowing the wrong
in every heart beat
then came further heat
she weighed
all these things
knowing too late always rings
seeking truth
sets off anger in sing
it's her life
not just some fling
she sighed just a bit
thinking these things
anger's become a distraction
at times
giving satisfaction
‒the evil whore's demolition
she bowed her head
in greater confession
this her greatest sin
one...with‒
she no longer
wants to blend
control‒
a fight she's determined
to win
‒using gratitude
from God's† den‒
the only way to contend
‒be put in the light
from way deep within
(April 27, 2019)―There are 2 large garbage cans that came with the house I live in. When we first moved in, they were in the corner of the garage. The side where I park my car. My car door opens up to the wall side of the garage. I have boxes stacked in there, which I never unpacked also on the side where I park my car. About a month ago, we were told by the landlord that we had to clean up the backyard. After the winter, the pine needles and pine cones had added up. So, in order to make my job a little easier, I moved the garbage cans to the side of the house, inside the metal gate. Since, they were out of the way in the garage, I moved over some boxes, which made getting out of my car easier.
Continue reading “‘What Comes Out’”You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness
Shouldering Damage
upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
–a go-getter
they couldn't take
she...never wanting‒
any kinda hate
‒that was never
her intended fate
‒she let love lead the way
ending in heavy price's
to pay
only in moments
she lived in sedate
all them medical doctors
had to medicate
she just needed room‒
a bit of space
to grasp the idea
of her body ache
never using it as an escape
‒it hurt...and she was its bait
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
upon her shoulders‒
she wears the cape
an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
–emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
a burning heart
left in saturate
mixed with anger
lust and hate
screaming
without intentional berate
from love
that just couldn't stay
then again‒
she let love be her mate
a heart damaged‒
in too many ways
–again...a turn in obliterate
a brain burned in uncultivate
all that damage‒
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
men who couldn't bear
the cape
of her physical‒
being in waste
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
she now wears‒
a suit of armor
from love's mate
as the heavy scars from fake–
I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
the writer in massive create
she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
so she shoulders damage
left behind–
by carelessness
and self hate
building her rose‒
from a destroyer's
intentional state
she knows‒
she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–others led her to fall
not caring
the damage at all
oh! how
she can stand tall–
she picked herself up
from the fall
using the rest of her life
in God's hall
lost to true love's
missed call
she knows‒
she gave it her all
–it was not her
that caused
the fall!
(April 24, 21019)—I was sent to a heart specialist today. Although I’m 50, I’m always the youngest in the room when it comes to things like this. (I started saying this phrase back in 2013 when I returned to the VA. I was always the youngest in the room back then.) So, I’m sitting there going through Scriptures, keeping my mind occupied. I didn’t want to think about why I was there. Then I got called to the back. A slew of tests were ordered, including a monitor, which I’ll have to wear for a week.
Continue reading “‘Shouldering Damage’”Discovering the hidden treasure in yourself!
Hidden TreasureContinue reading “‘Hidden Treasure’”
I found it
in the mince of broken
it was afraid and hidden
an abundantly harvested token
‒over used and forsaken
I took it in
without fear's notion
‒not even feeling a demotion
I bathed
in its scented potion
rolled around
in its storied creation
I overlooked‒
its wicked formation
for I saw‒
a different translation
‒one that needed
a believer's gratification
one with a heart-filled formulation
I listened
to its every beckon
sometimes, in stages of drunken
all around...deemed it poison
something to be shackled‒
in a far-away prison
I threw out‒
traditionalized opinions
nothing stuck‒
rotten or forbidden
its scent just heightened
‒nothing could be wrong
or mistaken
I moved like lightening
intentional burns‒
gone...forgotten
‒days passing slow, steadfast‒
good ridden!
I drove it‒
to an endless vacation
‒whatever conviction
out...came my eviction
I smiled as I saw its rising
all my stops...fully opened
pulling it out of hopeless‒
with my inner-most motivation
‒a darkened star had risen!
I fought everything
in grand petition
every inside concentration‒
I put aside
rose to the occasion
‒with the fierceness of driven
this hidden treasure
overcoming every treason
to become the lamination
of a new generation!
stop!....
reveal
came its different ideas written
all avenues taken‒
off records...stricken
–beating all those defeating‒
overcoming...petitions
a losing validation!
I lost to its mention
‒there...in its private station
came to life‒
its own treasure hidden
in all its careful motions‒
belts and strings
forcefully tightened
I craved to be enlightened
–nothing valued...given
anything to elevate my vision
halted in moments of frighten
I fought constant bent roads‒
tried to straighten
tried to remember each lesson
through all that glistened‒
it had its own secrets woven
‒knowledge in listen
mixing up pointless decisions
taking all the forgivens
icing them‒
in the forever of frozen
yes, I found it
in the mince of broken
it was afraid and hidden
an abundantly harvested token
‒over used and forsaken
but all the good of will‒
off...steadily shakened
breathing‒
living a horrid token
in anger's hidden conviction
‒all that's been stolen‒
on others
its constant reliving
it found its way‒
in rebuilding
using knowledge given
slashing‒
all help's salutations
keeping to itself‒
a stolen formulation
‒to avoid sharing‒
treasures hidden
as I sit
in lost wanderings–
moments
I took it
out of forsaken
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