Tag: live

‘His Pickup’

Have you answered God’s call? He’s waiting on you!

 His† Pickup
  
 I talk to the air
 pretending someone's there
 –it's only fair
 since no one sees
how I comb my hair
  
 I go for days, weeks
in this brave affair
 feeling angels everywhere
 then I fall to despair
 acknowledging
no one's really there
 wondering
if anyone really cares
  
 I go until I can't
my hand to face in cry–
  
 this isn't fair
  
 too long I've been waiting
for the care
 working, doing
wanting someone truly there
 but...just surrounds me
thin air
  
 I get completely lost
in this temporary despair
 then...comfort arrives
out of thin air
  
 I was pushed back
and about to fall,
 but the Lord helped me.
 the Lord is my strength
and my song;
 He has become
my salvation.
  
 revealing there's someone there
 someone who truly cares
 waiting, fighting there
 waiting to become fully
before the Lord...bare
 dealing in past affairs
 –having courage to dare
  
 shouts of joy and victory
 resound in the tents
of the righteous;
 the Lord's right hand
has done mighty things!
 the Lord's right hand
is lifted high;
 the Lord's right hand
has done mighty things!
  
 victory is every where
 I can feel I in the air
  
 I will not die but live,
 and will proclaim
what the Lord has done.
 the Lord has chastened me severely,
 but He has not given me
over to death.
  
 I know all won't be lost
in despair
 I know there will be saved
so many little hairs
 so I basked in this empty air
 as...taking place
the attended affairs
  
 open for me
the gates of righteousness;
 I will enter
and give thanks to the Lord.
 this is the gate of the Lord
 through which
the righteous may enter.
 I will give You thanks
for You answered me;
 You have become my salvation.
  
 all things will be fair
 as comes...the perfect affair
  
 the stone the builders rejected
 has become the capstone;
 the Lord has done this,
 and it is marvelous in our eyes.
 this is the day the Lord has made;
 let us rejoice and be glad in it.
  
 seeing truth...so there
 I anticipate
with welcoming flair
 I know this heart I wear
 –out of pure despair
 comes a star's brilliant glare
  
 o Lord, save us;
 o Lord, grant us success.
 blessed is he who comes
in the name of the Lord.
 from the house of the Lord
we bless you.
 the Lord is God,
 and He has made His light
shine upon us.
 with boughs in hand
join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar
  
 in bowed head...I do declare
 life is as it should be–
 it's not in the tear
 but in the solid of repair
 that God† reveals
His† humble stare
  
 You are my God
and I will give You thanks;
 You are my God
and I will exalt You.
 give thanks to the Lord
for He is good;
 His love endures forever.—Psalm 118

He’s Waiting On You!

(July 5, 2019)—I haven’t written in a while…been busy with the testimony of my recent events, which has proven not difficult, but more of a soul-searching deal that’s taking me nearing over a month now to work on. It’s okay. I have plenty time. There’s never a rush for things these days. In due time, they do come. But I have been working diligently and long hours. I went to bed at 5 a.m. this morning and woke up at around noon to people asking me if I felt the earthquake. No. I’ve been busy.

Continue reading “‘His Pickup’”

‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger wants you steadfast! God wants you moving forward!

 Anger's Infest
  
 feel it beneath your skin
 evil's way of getting within
 actions in horror's den
 ‒ways of evil's perfect sin
  
 it'll trap you in cussing
 it'll condemn you in swearing
 pulling at you...probing
 wanting your reaction
 for it's only satisfaction
  
 it'll take all
of your triggering notions
 you...down...dragging
 as it smiles
in sadistic laughing
 craving your giving in
 your fight...it's welcoming
 celebrating
your mind's condemn
  
 anger...evil's infested gem
 words, actions
its consistency in playing
 wanting you
self to defend
 so it can celebrate
in its win
  
 feel it beneath your skin
 evil's way of getting within
 actions in horror's den
 ‒ways of evil's perfect sin
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Infest’”

‘You Bitch!’

Simple Ways for You to Defeat Negative Self Talk

A sample from Book 12

 You Bitch!
  
 I've got an itch
 ‒pouring through my mind
a well-dug ditch
 screaming words in myth
to the highest pitch
 forcing me down a darkened pit
 ‒a text-blasting trip
 becoming an accusing witch
 out to smash an invisible zit
  
 every word on my lips
 disguised in angry fits
 passing along this typed niche
 thinking it's hip
making itself rich
 ‒taking advantage of my slip
  
 you evil bitch!
I'm gonna smash you to bits
 I'm so tired of your shit
 in the bud...I'm gonna nip
 not for a moment anymore
 forever...your throat
I'm gonna slit
 
 over the top
I'm gonna flip
 dunk you
down below...permanently dip
  
 no more...you get wit
 over the head‒ 
you...I'm gonna hit
 no more playful glitches
 in God†...get a good whiff
 of wine I'm gonna sip
sit back‒
 finally be done
with your controlling, irrational blip
 up goes my middle finger‒ 
see the tip
 up yours!
you piece of shit!

(October 16, 2018)—Are you mad at me for cussing? Get over yourself. This is a commentary that screams—It’s time for some cussing!

I’m going to give you some good information here if you suffer from depression, anger, negative self-talk to help you start turning things around in your life. Don’t worry. I’m taking this same journey, so let’s ride!

I’m doing two workshops at one time. The one on anger which I wrote a few posts about this past week and a happiness workshop. I’m also reading a second workbook titled Pathways to Recovery, A Strengths Recovery Self-Help Workbook by Priscilla Ridgway, Diane McDiarmid, Lori Davidson, Julie Bayes, and Sarah Ratzlaff.

Continue reading “‘You Bitch!’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

 Humble of Mercy
  
 she shivered in the sun light
 thinking of words in the night
 take care of yourself
 make this all count
 it's not as bad as it seems
  
 –wondering...
if this is really all right
  
 she covers her eyes from the bright
 words...thoughts in her head
 filling her morning's sight
 you've heard this before
words of deception
 he doesn't want you no more
 don't let 'fool' be your salvation
  
 ‒wondering...
why the needless blight
  
 then the bible's insight
 saying it's going to be all right
  
 the unease feels her insides
 but her heart digs in tight
 it was always him‒ 
since all the darkened twilight
 why so hard to get it right
 why so much fight
  
 she washed her face
forced a smile to the light
 dawned her makeup
ignored age's height
 the saddened night
 throwing sorrow to the wind‒
 the need to cry...howl
all night
  
 her heart sits right
 she adhered to the boundaries‒ 
set outright
 time needed with the light
 she can't fight
without insight
 cleansing her insides, beautying her outsides
 letting the magic pour from God†
 as age moves on
lessening her life
 –each piece
becomes more precious, more fragile
  
 learning not anymore
to gamble
 what's wrong, what's right
 just listening to the light
without a fight

(September 26, 2018)—

Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

Continue reading “‘Humble of Mercy’”

‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

I’ve said a lot here on Facebook. I revealed a lot…but there’s a lot I haven’t revealed. So you only get a piece of the puzzle…never the whole picture. Why? Because I do have a life and part of that life is private as for everyone else. There’s a lot of pain I cover up…and, yes, there is still pain. There will always be pain because an entire portion of my life has been wiped out…and not by choice.

I tried calling my daughter. It appears that she’s changed her number. I think that odd because the words I last typed her in text were answers to words she said to me, but I’m held totally accountable. Why? Oh, because I’m 49 years old and should know better. I’m the mom…but that doesn’t come into affect when I’m called by my name instead of Mom. Just saying….

 Knife
  
 it was put in there‒ 
nice and tight
 when I move around
to the left, to the right
 it reveals its price
 ‒how it changed my life
 the strength it took‒ 
robbing my mind
 the way it makes me wanna fight
 even if it isn't right
 even if I said...say...things impolite
 I was...am...gonna fight
 ‒even while speaking of the light
  
 at times, I feel like a poltergeist
 a faded memory...sliced and diced
 forgotten the way I was
 forever entombed in what I've become
 not a homicide
 ‒a genocide of all that was nice
 womanly, motherly...dignified
 downgraded to a parasite
 ‒not fit for normal's life
  
 should I be lost in contrite
 bowed down in pity...outright
 or was I absolutely right
turning childlike
 begging for help‒ 
from Yeshuah, the Christ†
  
 who has the right to decide‒ 
I'm the sacrifice
 in order for them‒ 
to have their paradise
  
 who had the right‒ 
shift truth to lies
 bury this knife
in what used to be‒
 a mother, sister, daughter, wife
  
 in me...it so mystifies
 how everyone becomes tongue-tied
 when abuse is in transcribe
 ‒the victim screams in alive
 how extreme...me...it mortifies
 that, no matter which way‒ 
death...comes in die
 twist, twist, twist the knife
 gone daughter, sister, mother, wife
  
 rebuilding exemplified
the alibis become jives
 words in wisdom...just implied
 while words...wombs...rob the mind
 memories of building the first life‒
 took one times forty-five
  
 pull, pull, pull out the knife
time in modify
 is there another forty-five
 my, my, my how it mystifies
 what comes of‒ 
pulling out the knife
Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘Live’

Don’t put it off until tomorrow!

A sample from Book 11

 Live
  
 today means nothing in tomorrow
 today means nothing in yesterday
 today is today
  
 yesterday was once today
 tomorrow will be today
 one known, one unknown
yet, today is
  
 what happened yesterday
won't happen again
 what will happen tomorrow
 just a guess, my friend
  
 today, oh! today
 each second, each minute
 each hour...is ours to devour
  
 don't think of what was
 nor what will follow
  
 today...over...tower
 be its blooming flower
 without counting
seconds, minutes, hours
  
 for death still comes
for all...not some
 never knowing the exact hour
 no more, blooms the flower
  
 today, shines the light
no need to fight
 it's up...so bright
use it in delight
 without thinking twice
  
 for yesterday is gone
 tomorrow...an unsung song
 today, oh! today‒
 today is
so...go on...live
  
Continue reading “‘Live’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
  
 liars seek truth‒
 falsifying a life
without any light
  
 manipulation...their due
 cutting it on cue
 ‒without noticing
the coming dues
  
 their belief‒ 
trying to convince you
 all they do
true, true, true
 backing them‒ 
there are few
  
 their spots change
sending you to the loo
 oh! what to do?
 ‒without cursing them, too
  
 truth is truth
existing
no half truths
 ‒it's either all true
 or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”

‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
  
 I'm an apparent suicide
 who took
everything buried inside
 ‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
  
 they call it a homicide
 raging words
was all it took
 for love to dry
 ‒leaving only tears
to cry
  
 slowly I died
 asking every kind of why
  
 why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
  
 why my truth
was reason
 my life
 ‒its very existence
to hide
  
 my being
no longer resides
 in hearts
I believed
could override
 evil's prancing stride
  
 they all cast me aside
 for thoughts...words
 I could no longer
hold inside
  
 instead of holding me
 as these eyes cried
they buried me
 ‒an unmarked grave
 deep outside
   with bugs and flies
Continue reading “‘Pillars of Death’”

‘Keynotes of Woman’

Men: Satisfy Your Woman!

A sample from Book 8

 Keynotes of Woman
  
 woman remains undefined
her complete design
 ‒never a crossing line
 she's God's† greatest mystery
 she'll never give
totally clarity
 ‒it's the journey of he
 enjoy this road of discovery
  
 here's one simple note
you should know
 ‒keeps her from go
 pay attention
this one simple lesson
 keeps you
out of option
  
 a woman
puts a man
in complete
 only‒ 
when she's wrapped up
 tight and neat
  
 a little explaining‒
 those stuck
in lame
  
 ‒heads up
no time for sleeping
 or you'll miss
keys to keeping
  
 woman summits
 ‒man
everything he'll get
 only when
he knows
the right tricks
  
 he can leave
abandon, lie, cheat
 blame her
attempt
 ‒destroy her complete
 but there's something
he...just doesn't get
  
 in every case‒ 
the same, the same
 he's the true blame
 ‒her wanting didn't remain
  
 he's the guide
making her open wide
 or inside
tightly hide
  
 she must see
all that's in him‒
 she must feel
continually free
 ‒totally complete
  
 when she feels
his every treat
 when she sees
his deal
 ‒his desires, strength...real
 trust builds‒ 
moving her to free will
 her heart‒ 
he steals
  
 her inner self
the most important reality
 gaining for he
simple stability
  
 when he
brings her to melt‒
 that place
she loses herself
 all her desires
she's ready to face
 ‒her inner fire
opens
begins floating
 losing herself
in feelings of ease
  
 when she's brought
to that place
 over and over
 ‒without any need
of race
 trying...faking
not one single trace
  
 when her body's needs
 left
in complete's please
 the rest of her‒ 
follows
in receive
  
 all makes her whole
complete's package
 without findings
of shortage
 ‒free
no feelings
lost in bondage
  
 then...only then
she moves him
to complete
 freely‒ 
wanting to please
 his every, single need
  
 no need to plead
for actions of he
 moved her to total's free
 ‒everything in she
gives‒
 leaving him
in the gift of pleased
  
 when he
slips into sleep
 fulfilling her needs‒ 
some sort of disease
 away‒ 
run...retreat
 she knows
as kisses flow
 her body grows cold
react fades
 lonely consumes
her days
 ‒her inside make
turns to fake
  
 woman holds no control
 ‒how her body rolls
  
 she desires feelings in gold
 (passion's bold)
  
 she loses to cold
only‒ 
when he folds
 forcing feelings‒ 
move on down the road
 her shutting down
felt
all around
 ‒her heart
moves in stealth
 to some place else
  
 warnings to heed
to that of he:
  
 keep her in free
 her sexuality‒ 
something to see
 nothing‒ 
she'll hide
 in he‒ 
open and wide
 she'll fly
bringing he
to high
Continue reading “‘Keynotes of Woman’”

‘Twenty-Year Itch’

Trust Me: It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 Twenty-Year Itch
  
 there's a glitch
 in this marriage-is-forever niche
 no one says it
 when selling their pitch
 they just say―
marriage is a gift
 no more ifs
no more endless cliffs
 but it's all a myth
for there's a ditch
 from which
comes the switch
 where love drifts
lies are rich
 truths are a bitch
change is swift
  
 heed this warnings' monolith
 the twenty-year itch
 comes from this sudden twitch
 egotistical snitch
 a labyrinth
a deceptive clinch
 leaving you adrift
lost to miff
 without even one
   understanding flinch
Continue reading “‘Twenty-Year Itch’”